My parents, sister and friends hate my boyfriend. I just don't know what to do. Got any advice?
My boyfriend is 26 and not going anywhere. I love him and he love me. I am still in college and don't see the need to be so worried about fiancial support for a relationship and family right now. My mom thinks i am crazy and that i can do so much better. The stress of fighting with my mom or loosing my best friend is killing me. I feel so out of it lately. What should I be doing? Or what should I think about? any advice?
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I think that you covered it all in one statement...and not going anywhere!
I'm suspecting that they feel that you are capable of and deserving of some Dude who is going somewhere?
What it ends up looking like is that if one of the two of you is going somewhere while the other isn't, the one who is going somewhere will end up towing the total bill in getting to anywhere.
You no doubt are taken up with this Dude, and you no doubt have your reasons. He for sure must have something, but as being another Dude, I wouldn't be able to find that something, or if I did, I wouldn't want it.
Hope that helps some sense.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
If he is 26 years old and not going anywhere with his life then you should not be with him.
He is old enough and should be mature enough to realize that you can't just bum and freeload your way through life.
You are obviously in college so you can get a job and make decent money someday. You deserve to be with someone that wants those things to or at least already has those things.
Your mom has a right to think your crazy. You can do so much better.
You need someone with goals, priorities, and someone who wants something out of life.
You definitely do not want to be the sole "bread winner" one day.
I don't see how you cannot see the need for financial support right now. With prices on all goods and services hitting hirer than ever before. You apparently still live at home and have everything paid for by your parents.
Just take it from personal past experience with a guy like this, you should dump him.
Then you and your mom will be good again and you and your friend.
I know you might think you love him, and you might really love him, but in the long run it will be completely worth it.
- lighght30Lv 51 decade ago
It's hard when you're in love, and you feel that nobody else sees your love the way that you do, and just no one understands; how can they not see what you see?
The thing is, they don't love him; they love you. And it isn't just your dad, or your mom, or a single friend....it's EVERYBODY. It's a fair assumption that your emotions are clouding your judgment, and they are seeing the situation for what it really is.
If possible, try setting aside your own feelings about him and pretend that a close friend is dating him and wants your opinion. You really care about her - what's wrong with him? Whatever you see when you look at him as just another guy is where your friends and family are coming from.
Even though you don't see then need to start worrying about finances right now, you will soon, and for the rest of your life. You admit yourself that your bf's "not going anywhere" at 26. That actually is somewhat worrying. It's not necessary that he is a financial world beater at that youngish age, but he's not a kid anymore, either, and he ought to have something on the ball at this point. He's closer to 30 than to 20.
Finances do matter, a lot. If you are really serious about this guy, they are going to matter to you even more when you get pregnant, and he, as the father, continues to drift around like a big kid. You are going to look at his personality very differently then. That's probably what your parents are afraid of, that he's going to get you pregnant and then take off, leaving you back with them as an unwed mother, before you've even got your career going.
Even if you're careful about birth control and an unwanted pregnancy is not an issue, your friends don't like him, either, so there is something else about him that is putting them off.
It's the sheer numbers that would bother me. It's probably not a case of everyone not understanding, it's more likely a case of you being willfully blind to his many glaring faults. It's never easy feeling like you have to choose between every other important person in your life and a guy, but do you really want to isolate yourself to such an extent? If you can't rely on him in an emergency, and he's all you have left, what are you going to do?
My advice is to start with your friends, because you can take their criticism much less personally than your parents. Get straight exactly what it is that they don't like about him, and try to see him through their eyes. It might also help to simply stop seeing him for awhile, not to date anyone else, but just to have a break from his presence, and test whether your feelings stay the same, or start to fade. Remember, your family and friends loved you first.
- letterstoheatherLv 71 decade ago
I don't know what you mean by your "boyfriend is 26 and not going anywhere" -- unless he doesn't work, drinks or does drugs all the time, and is a general waste of space? Is that what you mean? I don't understand why he's "not going anywhere".
If you r just dating him, and feel that you would probably never marry him, that's one thing, but if he is about nothing and you're thinking of marriage someday? think again.... why should you foot the bill?
You have to make decisions about your life, yourself. Your mother's feelings shouldn't influence you.
Step back and take a good, hard look at this person, and ask yourself if this is someone you want to be strapped to the rest of your life. That might help.
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
Well there has to be a reason why they don't approve of him. Maybe you have changed as a person since being with him or maybe you don't make time for your friends and family anymore so they are a little resentful. You need to ask them what's really going on and how you can prove to him that he is a great guy ..not that your family and friends have to accept him but it makes life so much easier and it would kill me if my family did not approve of my husband. Bring him around the house more to get to know everyone :)
- 5 years ago
What different folks say or feel approximately you is none of your online business! But, you do not ought to placed your self competent to take any ones BS. I'm gonna believe the primary reply, he is 26 and nonetheless lives at house? Please inform me he is no less than going to institution complete time? Your guy will have to be status up for you, telling his household to close the hell up! But, seeing as how he lives with mommie, he has to make mommie joyful with a purpose to keep within the condo. If he chooses you over them, he is also requested to depart, and I bet he is not able to try this. I say sell off his a** and uncover any person who needs to be with you, and may not stand for different speakme shi*t approximately you. If you would not deal with your self that manner, then do not allow others do it both. I'm sorry hun, however any guy who may not get up for his woman, is not a person valued at having. All of that is assuming you relatively don't have anything to express regret for!! Good Luck!!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
chick, it's your life, one day you may not like who your other family member is dating and they won't care , your in love that's all that matters