Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

What do I do, fiance's uncle is obnoxious...?

So I went with my fiance down to Missouri for his sister's wedding this past weekend. I have never met anyone on his dad's side of the family until then. Anyway he introduced me to his uncle who proceeded to insult my intelligence and tell me there is no possible way that I have any amount of brains because I am blonde. He did this repeatedly in front of everyone, my finance just stood there and laughed. I excused myself to use the restroom when my finance followed me and proceeded to scold me for being rude and walking out on the conversation. He said he was upset with me for being upset that his uncle insulted me. I told my fiance that his uncle hurt my feelings and that I should not have to put up with that type of behavior and he just got more upset. I ended up locking myself in the bathroom while I tried to hold back the tears. What should I do? Has anyone else been in a similar situation? After this weekend I am seriously considering calling off the wedding....Am I over reacting?

Update:

I did stand there and smile like it didn't bother me...I was also raised with enough tact to know the appropriate time and place to insult someone else, that's why I didn't say anything back.

8 Answers

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  • NickyS
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think as your future husband he should have stuck up for you.Why would his Uncle be such a jerk?If he was trying to make jokes to break the ice he should have backed off once he saw you weren't laughing too.I wouldn't go so extreme as to call off the wedding but maybe check your fiances reaction again.How was it rude to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom?I don't know sweet girl.You need to dig deep and see where you're heart stands b/c in the long run,when you become his wife,he needs to put you first.When my father-in-law called to yell at me about a Christmas card that wasn't up to his standard (it wasn't store bought,it was from a box)I told my husband.He got on the phone right away and stuck up for me.That's what husbands do.I wish you well and God bless.

  • john n
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    You marry into this family and you will spend your life in the bathroom crying.

    Dump him and stay away from crackers.

    I guess the other alternative would be to insult the retards right back. His uncle is a toothless inbred halfwit with a smell that colors the air around him when he enters the room, right?

    Show them you have a brain and a back bone. then if they can't take it, dump him.

    most pinheads can dish it out but they start crying when it comes back at them. Hey pretty blonde girls are put on pedestals

    and treated like gold even the really dumb ones so, you can do better. Come to think of it even dumb ugly blonde girls are treated better than that.

    From the time you are born you are either buying or selling, are you buying this?

  • 1 decade ago

    Nope, you have a right to be pissed off.. Doing it once is a joke, doing it repeatedly is annoying and insulting..

    How could your fiance say that to you. Obviously you cannot be the one to go up to the uncle to tell him to stop the comments, so the responsibility lies on ur fiance to do something about it seeing that it upsets you so much. On your part, the only thing you can do is to let what has been done go, but to be repeatedly insulted and expected to smile and be fascinated is plain disgusting.

    He is belittling you. Don't let it go, people should never be disrespected like that.

  • 1 decade ago

    No, not to me at least. Which is funny, cause if you look at most of my answers, i am usually the one that says you can work through anything if you Truly love someone, but the truth is I find it hard to believe your fiance can Truly love you if he can stand there and watch you be humiliated by anyone, even if it was family. Even if he didn't see anything wrong w/ his uncle's behavior, it should have been enough that his uncle was obviously hurting your feelings, he would've stepped in. I remember when i took this young woman who i was Truly and madly in love w'/ to my uncle's wedding and another uncle of mine made a lewd comment to me out of her earshot and it took everything ounce of fiber in my body not to lay him out right then and there. As it was, i had to find my mother, (she always seems to be able to calm my temper) and tell her i was gonna kick his *** if he says or behaves in any inappropriate manner towards Angie. She spend the next couple hours keeping in between me and my uncle. My point is, the one you love, especially your soon to be spouse, should come first in your life, at least til there are children.

    I would also point out that this behavior is something you fiance seems to find acceptable, there may be things that you don't know. I would at least try to sit and talk things out. Make sure you know what you are getting in to.

    Everyone is missing the point. The real roblem isn't that his uncle is an asshole, the problem is that what her husband didn't do, and then he proceded to berate this young woman becuase she couldn't just stand there and someone be mean and rude and disrespectufl to her and watch the man who profess to love her not only stand aside but actually laugh at her expense!! What does that say about him?? what does that say about his love of her?? or about what he thinks is acceptable behaviour to treat his wife? As far as the uncle goes, it's and easy solution. Fiance needs to be a man and stand up for her and say "Uncle Asshole, look i know you might not have meant to hurt her feelings and insult her, but you did. Can you please not talk to my fiance like that?" And if the uncle can't then he needs to stay away from her. Period. No ifs ands or buts.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your fiance doesn't even support you?

    I think the answer is obvious, I'd call it off. I can't believe he doesn't respect you enough to stand up for you, or try to understand why you're hurt.

    From the sounds of it your marriage would be DOA.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    all familys behave differently... your fiances family grew up together and would be used to his uncles jokes and even find them funny.

    dont take it to much to heart... just think: how often do people hang out with their uncles? I daresay you will only see the man every now and then.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well, my husband used to make politically incorrect jokes, but I decided I wanted to be married to him anyway. He doesn't do it anymore.

    However,, in your fiance's family you will have no control. Either break the engagement, or grin and bear it. Maybe eventually you could sneak away to the kitchen.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    dont call off the wedding for that! if you cant handle those types of situation before your marrried.. then idk if you can handle BEING MARRIED.cuz stuff liek that will happen when your married, you just have to learn to deallll. next time make fun of his unclee backkk, and laugh at yourself.. this way, you wont look so upset in front of everyone and youll have a better impression of yourself.

    think..are you ready to get married..

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