What do you think of my ballad/poem? Please Help! I need lots of opinions!!!?

Question

I have to write a ballad for my English course please tell me what you think of mine and what I need to correct or change… btw this one is a rough draft and I know it’s not perfect but any opinions and help will be greatly valued. Thanks in advace.

There was once was once a man starting life’s journey

His journey was taking him to a far off shore

When he got there he was troubled because he only wanted more

More of what he asked himself I have all I need,

I have all I could ever want.

This man spent years searching for more

He traveled the world going door to door

He wanted something but he didn’t know what

More of what he asked himself I have all I need

I have all I could ever want.

He was quickly becoming an old man

When he decided to slow his pace

His search he decided would have to wait

So he asked one more time, more of what,

I have all I need and I have all I could ever want

So after this break he continued in his old ways

He searched harder then he ever could have dreamed

And still he couldn’t see the more in life he’d been looking for

More of what he asked himself I have all I need

I have all I could ever want.

He was soon an old man and he finally had to stop

His journey had come to an end and yet he hadn’t found

What he was so desperately looking for, his desire in life

So for the last time he asked himself, more of what,

I have all I need & I have all I could ever want.

Then he looked up and saw two children playing and then holding hands

He looked the other way and saw a wife with her child

He looked across the field and saw a farmer teaching his son

He looked to his side and saw a stranger who could become a friend

Then he knew he had found the more in life,

The thing he wanted and needed he finally understood it was too late to have.

Answer 1

Favorite Answer

I like it.

Answer 2

it's really long.