Does my sister hate me?

I don't know what it is about my sister, but I think she hates me. Well, me and her haven't really gotten along really well. We used to do stuff together all the time when we were younger. Preferebly in elementary school.

After she went into middle school though, her interests started to change along with her attitude. She started becoming a competitive cheerleader and diver around this time. These activities introduced her to different people. Some of these people she met have gotten into some serious trouble over the past couple of years. What I mean by trouble is that some of her friends have been caught drinking, have been suspended numerous times, and have flat out done some idiotic stuff.

Now me and her are seniors in high school. All she has done to me though over the past couple of years is try to bring me down. Since we are twin siblings, we have to share pretty much everything. However, she wants to keep everything to herself. She yells at me and tries to embarrass in front of my parents every chance she gets. She also treats my personal belongings with disrespect as well.

I can't help but think that all she wants to do is not even acknowledge that I exist in high school. I am also in a way jealous of her success in high school. She is the captain of the cheerleading squad and she is the top diver for the swim and dive team at school. I am just an average cross country runner who is just looking for a sport to pass time until college arrives. She even has a higher GPA than me, yet she still disrespects me.

Does my sister really hate me or is this just a phase in her life?

Please give any helpful advice that you can to help me strengthen the relationship that I have with my sister.

Update:

Thanks everyone. I am so glad that so many of my contacts can be of big help between me with issues such as these. I am sure this is just a phase in my twin sister's life. I am hopeful that she will change. Anyway, thanks everyone once again. :)

16 Answers

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  • Jackie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hey, you're a Cross Country runner too? Cool.

    Anyway, your sister reminds me of my brother in a way. She'll get over it and mature up, probably after High School.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You know, I can only speak from my own experience and the sort of shared ones from people close to me, but this isn't too uncommon. It seems that there is a lot of different pressures and it's just such a bizarre social time in your high school years that siblings will tend to drift. It may take time, but you sort of reprioritize as you get older and these things end up reversing themselves. At some point you'll just find a common ground and the trend will start to go the other way.

    Just keep being cool, and hopefully she'll come around soon enough. Either way far more often than not it's just a phase. I highly doubt that she HATES you. People use those years to start filling into their identity and sometimes things take a shift. It'll be cool. She's probably just figuring herself out.

    I'm the youngest by 5 years which creates a whole different dynamic, but I have two sisters who are separated by 2 years. I remember they were sharing a room, and they ended up getting so furious with each other that one of them moved into a walk in utility closet as an alternative to sharing the room. Now a days they are really great friends. You said some of the dispute is over sharing, sometimes, especially when you've done that all through your life, you will rebel against any sort of a fused identity. (now I'm just getting way too arm chair shrink on you, but the point is these things work themselves out).

  • 1 decade ago

    Hey, I never knew you had a twin!

    She's probably just being independant (or at least trying to). I mean, surely in your 17 (or was it 18?) years on this Earth you've gotten a little annoyed at being associated with your sister all the time. Maybe she's felt like that in the past few years and is just trying on a different persona (I think that's the right word). See, since she used to be nice to you now she's seeing what it's like to not be nice to you. This is probably just a phase, but if it's not then try looking for an out of state college.

    Hope you guys can work this out!

    Funeral For A Friend: Roxel is a guy

  • 1 decade ago

    I do not think she hates you takes you for granted yes. She is probably acting badly because of her statues at school. I remember when I was in school and the cheerleaders and football players acted like they were above everyone else.

    She probably is in the mode I am a cheerleader I am captain of the squad I am super woman and I deserve it all including your stuff. She is just full of herself right now try to overlook it.

    I promise when you get out of school nobody is going to give a rats butt she WAS a cheerleader and it si going to be a big hoooge let down when all this attention disappears. She will come back to the one she loves that is you. Try and overlook her stupidity right now she might be cheerleader and have a better GPA to bad they cannot teach walking around sense.

    My husband was a football player at a different school then me and he told me it was so depressing to get out of school and not have that praise anymore. The more you have the more you have to lose. Know that I mean. You will fair far better and be more leveled headed then her you will see what I mean. God is growing your patience and character. She is getting a late start on that one.

    Oh one more thing do you know who never graduated for college? Bill Gates the rest is history. Good luck gurl

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  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Your sister sounds like a real piece of work, isn't she? I mean,she sounds like a raging hypocritical bich!! You say she is always this way about all of your boyfriends, right? So why should you break up with one, when you really like him just to please her, when you know she'll be the same way to the next one & the one after that, & so on? I say, screw her!! (Or don't, I didn't mean that literally, you know!) I think you should have a confrontation with her: I think you should set it up,or plan it to be when neither of your parents are at home, or will be for several hours at least, then I think you should just lay it all out to her, esp. the part about her having done the exact same thing!! And tell her that if she wants a war, go ahead & tell your parents anything she wants to, and you will do the same, and the end result will be that they will be brokenhearted & never trust either of you again! Tell her meanwhile, stop with the threats--you get to choose your own b/f's, and so does she, and you don't have to like each-other's picks, but you do have to act with civility towards them, regardless of whether you approve or not, because a sister's approval is NOT required or asked for or necessary in order to enjoy one's life!!

  • Roxel first of all I am sorry. I don't think your sister hates you it just sounds like she is trying to assert her independence. You mentioned that you two had to share many things and you had a strong bond when you were younger. It sounds like she is trying to define herself as a person. She probably feels a little of what your feeling possibly. Give it some time and I'm sure you two will have the same relationship as you did before. Your an awesome person and I hope things do get better. In time she will come around.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    She doesn't hate you. My sister and I have never gotten along. Sometimes I wonder if she hates me too. However , there are those rare times when we have had to pull together as a family. She always comes through.

    Ya'll are still young but when you both move out into your own places things will change. I don't know why but that really makes a difference.

  • 7 years ago

    She sound like she's going through a stage. She's also hanging around the wrong kind of people. She's probably going to end up getting hurt- emotionally.

    You need to mention this to your parents I think. I doubt you can do anything- talking to her will just make her angry or something.

    When she gets older and realises she's being a bi*ch, she'll probably regret stuff and you can be friends again.

    Sorry to be mean, but she sounds like a bad sister.

  • 1 decade ago

    I truly don't believe your sister hates you. Its hard sometimes to be a twin because everyone doesn't see yall as individuals. Maybe she feels like she needs to kinda give some sort of separation between the both of you. Or distinguish yall's differences to everyone, become her own person if that makes any since. I know what I'm trying to say, just hard to put it into words.

  • 1 decade ago

    OK what i think is shes takeing things hard because maybe shes hideing something and is acting in a different way to show that there is nothing wrong with her when there is trust me iv been there with my lil sis i will do the best that i can to help you but i think you should talk to her in privite or do Consaling and the consaler will probley invite her to the room and you guys can talk this over or talk to your parents

    P.S. Good luck! ^^

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