A penchant for older men??? And are they actually control freaks?

Oh how sweet is this torment...the fruit is forbidden...

...Okay this may be one of the reasons why I desire ASEXUALITY...

Seriously! I have a penchant for older men-WISER, WELL-ROUNDED, CUTER/HOTTER, did I mention wiser?

I am a fan of many older musicians and artists (i.e. John Tesh), I admire older musicians and artists, I admire older people (ie, my aunt, my cousins, my uncles), I want to hang with older people (sometimes I feel out of place with ppl my age) and our family friend (who is 46) called me an "old soul" cuz of my interests in music (Tina Turner, Martin Page, etc)...

I have been told that older men, in so many words, are control freaks when they date younger women. I was told this by my mom, my cousin and my neighbor.

Is this true??? :(


I am 21 btw and there is an 18 year old after my heart, but I dunno if he is mature enough for me...O_o *rubs chin*

Update 2:

lucid-Glad u saw the light. :)

whisper-Sadly I think they're right too. To a DEGREE.

I know this 24 year oold girl who married over the summer to this 40 year old dude. He a minister and she says he don't like her going nowhere without him. O_o

Update 3:

Elmbeard-Cool. Thanks. :D

Update 4:

hankie-Interesting point of view, there. But I know everyone has their points of views on this. Some may say that older men aren't controlling and some may say that they are controlling...hope you aren't mad at my question.

I kinda can't help the fact I like older men but maybe a mature YOUNGER GUY will do the trick! ;P

It's like that song "Jessie's Girl"

"Where can I find a [MAN] like that..."

6 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Mature women invented a bully system whereby they say "If I date a much younger guy... its because I'm a hot mom. A cougar. And if a young guy dates someone much his senior its because he is a toy boy. He likes me because I'm mature in my prime and good sex and I can teach him how to satistify a woman. I'm so lucky! He's so lucky"

    But...... if its the other way around and the older person is male and the younger person is female... mature women become immature and do a complete aboutface and go into "age gaps are sick predatory and perverted" mode and then prey on the couple with negative stereotypes.

    "If an older male falls for a younger female.... its because he is a sick predator preying on a vulnerable young female. Taking advantage. Manipulator. He is sick and can't relate to women his own age. He wants to CONTROL her. And if a young woman likes an older man.. .its because.. .she has father issues. She's sick. .She wants to steal his money and kill him in his sleep. She is a money predator".

    Of course older women are going to portray it that way. You dont honestly expect an older woman to say "An older man who dates a younger woman.... is a cougar having hot exciting sex with a fun loving girl toy." Of course not. They compete with young women by turning them into perversions. Old women sense of self worth and beauty comes from their belief that young women are perversions only SICK males like

    I'm in my late 20's and my girflriend is early 20's and we have had problems with other people. So I'm a boy toy if I date an older woman but a beast if I like a female younger than me. What a nice paradox you invented ladies. Nothing will motivate me to marry a woman my senior more than that little stunt of yours.

    Even if ashton divorces demi and dates a 26 year old woman at 40.. females (especially immature "mature" women) are going to call him a sick perv. His IQ is so low (most likely) he probably doesnt even see that one coming. There would be a LOT more "ashtons" if mature women didnt invent that paradox.

    Boy toys with older lovers become "beasts" with younger lovers. Nice!

  • 1 decade ago

    No not all older men are control freaks. But their are some so be careful. Or stay within your age group. I'm a older man and I know I'm not one of them. But I have not dated in a while. And a lot of my girlfriends ]girl friends] told me I should be dating. If I was any kind of control freak it would be over my music, cause music is my first love and will be until the day I die.

    You be careful.

    PS the 18 year old seems to be a better pick not saying there's anything wrong with most older men cause I am one.

    Take Care

  • 1 decade ago

    I am 52 and my current girlfriend is 27.

    Some people of all ages are control freaks and some aren't. You just have to look at each one and see whether you can handle it one way or the other.

    By definition, older people have lived a lot more and so have memories going back many decades. Set against this wealth of experience is the sad fact that brain cells die as you get older. I can see them dropping right now. Zip zip zip zip.... So on balance the faculties are about equal.

    One doctor I knew, who fancied himself as a psychoanalyst, said that the biggest hazard with a large age gap is the power imbalance in favour of the younger person that gets more and more marked with time. The older person therefore is terrified of losing his grip on life while he dearly wishes to remain on top form for his young beautiful wife. The trick here is to insist on equality of status, so that he never feels inferior to you and has to go all controlling in order to compensate for this. Forget the age - you each bring things the other does not have, and this is a recipe for a great relationship, equal but different.

    It is true that the intelligent, and especially the musically or artistically intelligent get more and more attractive the older they get. I was watching about the composer Ralph Vaughan Williams who found the love of his life when he was over 60 and she was 40 years younger. When he was at last able to marry her, they were the happiest couple you could imagine with him doing world tours well into his 80s.

    I know that a young wife would add 20 good years to my life, and the young wife gains 20 years of life already without having to get old!

    To sum up - you are a Godsend to us crumblies, and very welcome. Don't let the others put you off us making each other so happy.

  • 4 years ago

    I'm 19 My fiance is 36 were madly in love. He thinks women his age have too many issues. You can't help who you have chemistry with. Although let me warn you the gossip ring is horrible. According to our circle of people he's a child molester and i'm a golddigger which is so beyond the truth. I'm in school not working and he has an established career. Which just fuels the fire of their gossip.

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  • 1 decade ago

    As a man who's almost always dated younger women, I can say, yes, it's true. I was always afraid she'd leave me for someone her own age, so I got overprotective and controlling. I realized what I was doing, but other guys sometimes don't.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago


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