Help Me Please My Husband wants anal sex from me?

and it is causing a major problem in our marriage. It is very uncomfortable and painful for me but i do want to make him happy, is there anything i can buy to use to make the moment romantic,enjoyable,comfortable and pleasurable for both of us?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    For some reason I've noticed that women are more open (no pun intended) to anal sex after they have had alot to drink.

  • 1 decade ago

    it is possible for a woman to enjoy anal sex

    in fact, it can be very enjoyable - the anus is full of nerve endings

    i used to be like you - i would give anal to my boyfriend (now husband) only once in a while, as a treat. eventually, after several years i learned how to do it right and began to really enjoy it. now i like it as much or more than vaginal sex! (as long as i have a vibe with me)

    the key really is learning to relax

    if your anus is clenching, it will hurt when you stick something in it

    a good thing to do is practice by yourself

    i find the best position to be on all fours

    use a lot of lube and practice sticking your finger in your butt

    you will be able to feel your anus clenching

    to focus on that feeling, clench down on your finger even more. this will help you learn which muscles control your anus, so that you can learn to relax them. keep practicing this until you can relax your anus with your finger inside.

    once you can do that, try a slim dildo or vibrator.

    once you can do that, bring on your husband! just tell him to go really really really slow, and let him know when to go in or out.

    when you are ready to try him, you still should probably warm up with fingers and/or dildos. he might be into helping you with that also!

    take it slow but don't give up.

    good luck!

    [also: don't use numbing lube - this will just hide the fact that your body is being hurt! not a good idea, and not needed once you learn to do it correctly (relaxed).]

  • 1 decade ago

    Yep, I agree with those speaking up for Anal Eaze - you can buy it through Slumber Parties (you can find them online). They also have a great lube called Platinum. I recommend a combination of both.

    Also, one thing you can't buy but it will help you alot - communication. When you're attempting anal, you need to be able to talk to each other. If you tell him it doesn't feel good, he should stop. And that's that!

  • 1 decade ago

    You should be open and honest in all communication with your husband . You should tell him exactly what you told us . If he cares for you and he must since yall are married , then he will not want you suffering in any way and the two of you can come up with something that is pleasurable for you both .

    If that does not work , tell him sure if he will let you use a strap on with him . ( just joking , but it will definitely get his attention .

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Your reluctance to not having anal sex with your husband is causing "major problems" in your marriage? Are you kidding me??? If your husband is making an issue out of this...and because this activity in uncomfortable and painful for you...He must not have any respect for you....I would suggest that you say to him....that you will be willing to try anal sex....ONLY AFTER YOU SHOVE A CUCUMBER UP HIS BUM FIRST! What a selfish pig!!!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Grr don't report me I'm being serious, okay?!

    My husband is.. ah-hem.. well endowed, and I allow him to have anal sex with me on occasion.

    You need to loosen your muscles as much as possible -- the more flexed they are, they more painful it is. Also, buy some "KY Silk." It's a lot better than KY jelly because it's not as sticky and it washes right off. It helps make things go a lot "smoother." hehe.

    Good luck.

    And P.S. -- if you absolutely are uncomfortable doing this, I'm sure your husband will understand. More important to him than the anal sex, I hope, is his wife's comfort..

  • 1 decade ago

    You should not have to do anything you are not comfortable doing, and if he makes a big deal about it, then he is a jerk.

    I personally refuse to do so, and my husband is totally ok with it, not to mention it he thinks its gross. That is exit only.

    If he keeps it up, I agree with the other people have answered. Get a huge dildo without lube and tell him you can do mine if I can do yours. and he has to go first.

    Im pretty sure he will drop the subject, and if not you have bigger problems then him poking your poop shooter.

  • 1 decade ago

    Make him go very very very slow, use a ton of lubricant and try to relax, I cant imagine you having any enjoyment if you are tense and that only adds to the pain. they also have some things out there now that have a numbing agent in the lubricant to make it more comfortable.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    don't you ladies know , it is the hunt ! trying to get what you cant have , the forbidden zone , also i suggest message oil , better than ky , that's sticky and dries to fast , anal ease , well better use it on first if not , and he gets it on him self , well within a few min he may not be doing anything lmao ,

  • 1 decade ago

    This is a minor problem...you should have mine, she doesn't want ANY kind of sex. Tell him he's lucky you let him try and you don't like it. Just put your foot down, tell him that is "exit only" and if he doesn't like it...all the tunnels will be closed until further notice.

  • 1 decade ago

    It is so clear your problem is that your husband is not experienced with developing the analsex pleasure.

    First you need some lubricant to make it easy to for him to penetrate your ***. But for the first 3 times you do analsex you need to do the following:

    1. he should only penetrate the head of his cock inside your *** after putting some lub and this should be done in doggy position.

    2. After it is in he should not move it inside you. You should lay on your stomach while he is still behind you and inside your *** not moving his cock

    3. After you lay down on your stomach close your legs together with the head of his cock still inside your *** and squeeze his cock with your *** and thigh muscles. Your husband should reach your vagina with his fingers from under your stomach and rub it until you start cuming while you are in this position.

    By closing your legs together while he is inside your *** your *** will widen up and it will be easy for you to practice anal sex. Second by having him rub your vagina and cliterous while he is inside your *** it will help you *** while he is inside your *** which will develop the sensation of anal sex and in the future you will no longer need to touch anything inorder for you to *** doing anal sex

    I did it with my wife and it worked wonderfully from the first time we did it and she is now addicted to it.

    With time your husband can start to move his cock inside your *** slowly. But any quick movement will lose any pleasure you can have. It takes time to develop the pleasure of anal sex that you can enjoy fast movement of the cock inside your ***

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