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Lv 4
沒有 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

幫我check這篇英文簡歷,贈送20點

下個月要去澳洲打工,

準備了一份英文簡歷,

不曉得有沒有文法上的錯誤? 或是用字遣詞有沒有什麼問題? 還有建議怎麼改會比較好,容易被入取。。。

我沒有設限找什麼工作啦~~~就是找找打工,什麼工作都ok,請各位大大幫忙囉~~~

回答最優的,贈送20點啦^^

如下:

Name

Address

Telephone

Mobile

Email

Nationality

Profile

Plenty of working experiences of helpmate, sales, machining, customer service, and cashier, tagged to a clever brain, strong body, and also good looking, lead to learn new working skills efficiently.

Native Chinese speaker adequate spoken English.

Featuring smile as well as self-confidence.

Education

Taiwan University of Science and Technology

Bachelor of Business Administration

Taichung Home Economics and Commercial High School

Graduated from Business Affairs Department

Employment

Assistant in My Juice Shop. (Part-time job)

Sales in Synnex Technology International Corp. (Full-time job)

Clerk in She Pharmacy. (Part-time job)

Administrator in China Motor Corp. (Full-time job)

Fuel-adding operator in Chinese Petroleum Corp. (Part-time job)

Waitress in King of Comic Multiple Shop. (Part-time job)

Skills

Be good at cleaning, washing, cashier, serving and smiling.

Specialized in Administrator as well as Sale and Marketing.

Qualified for Chinese/English Typing (41/52 words per min).

Operating computer systems: Windows XP, 2000, 98, and application software: Microsoft Office.

Car driving licence.

Interests

English, Food and Jogging.

References available on request.

4 Answers

Rating
  • edward
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    英文的部分晚點在討論,就履歷表來說,你這份履歷表有一各很大的問題,太雜太細項了.

    也許有很多特質符合你所想要申請的職務,但是通常面試者看到一張很雜的履歷,都會是最後考慮的(你的領域太不同了,從端盤子道商業管理到業務銷售).一張好的履歷是要跟著你想要應徵的職務來書寫的,絕對不是把你平生列出來讓老闆看,挑他喜歡的經歷(履歷一次收一疊的哪有空一各一各挑,你要先把你自己的優勢跟經驗high Light出來~至少爭取到面試,其他的工作經驗才是讓他映像加分用的~)

    您這一份履歷看起來比較奇怪的地方我幫你挑出來可能調整一下會比較好.

    Plenty of working experiences of helpmate, sales, machining, customer service, and cashier, tagged to a clever brain, strong body, and also good looking, lead to learn new working skills efficiently.

    建議:

    Working experiences in all different fields include Sales, Customer Service of automobile, guesting etc. (不是徵婚不需要把個人生理優點全部寫出來的)

    語言部份:

    language: Chinese, English..寫這樣就可以了,英文好不好對外國人來說是見人見智的,你的口音他聽的懂就算好,你的口音他聽不懂,你托福考滿分也沒用的.

    Education

    這部分不太用改,對外國公司,你的學歷除了學系比較重要以外,跟他講哪一間他也不知道的,所以不用管了.

    Employment:

    每次要寄出去之前,先分析你所想要應徵的職務,需要哪種經驗.只留那些相關經驗的職務就好,不要通通寫上去,會給人一年換24各頭家的感覺. 基本上所有的Part-time經驗也可以不太用提,你的正規經驗夠多了.

    Skills(不要介意,但你這一段寫的真的很可愛......)

    Be good at cleaning, washing, cashier, serving and smiling.(請刪除..看完這一段會有看到火星人的感覺)

    Specialized in Administrator as well as Sale and Marketing. (這段好留下來)

    Qualified for Chinese/English Typing (41/52 words per min).

    Operating computer systems: Windows XP, 2000, 98, and application software: Microsoft Office.

    Car driving licence.

    不要寫興趣(interest)怪怪的.

    基本上你找的工作因為你因該是遊學打工或工作旅遊簽證,一般大型的公司行號聘取的機率不高,當地可能比較有工作機會的是,餐飲服務業,業務銷售上,語言必須要相當強,所以你可以強調你的的餐飲相關經歷,(如果想要餐飲相關工作拉),會比較容易讓你得到工作機會的.

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  • 孟瑜
    Lv 4
    6 years ago

    如果你很確定自己很想結婚

    婚友社的確是一個有效率的管道

    年紀越大壓力越大

    以前我去婚友社時

    年輕的女生機會總是比較多

    時間總是不站在女生這邊的

    所以如果你想婚的念頭已經確定

    就去找一家評價好一點的婚友社!

    行動吧!

    這是我之前參加的婚友社我覺得不錯

    或搜尋"紅娘李姐"

    不過還是建議你自己去諮詢過看是否適合你!

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  • Elisa
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Some grammar and usage corrections:

    Working experiences in all different fields include Sales, Customer Service of automobile, guesting etc.

    => guesting – incorrect word usage. => ….. include Sales and Customer Service.

    2008-10-02 04:06:52 補充:

    Specialized in Administrator as well as Sale and Marketing.

    => “Administrator – incorrect word usage. => administration

    Qualified for Chinese/English Typing (41/52 words per min).

    => incorrect word usage. => Excellent in Chinese/English Typing.

    2008-10-02 04:07:53 補充:

    Operating computer systems: Windows XP, 2000, 98, and application software: Microsoft Office. => not critical information.

    Car driving licence. => incorrect word usage. => Licensed to drive automobiles. (not critical information unless the company you applied for requires you to drive).

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  • 1 decade ago

    Profile

    Plenty of working experiences of helpmate, sales, machining, customer service, and cashier, tagged to a clever brain, strong body, and also good looking, lead to learn new working skills efficiently.

    (這段不夠具體. plenty of experience in every aspect, 但是沒有更細部的說明)

    Native Chinese speaker adequate spoken English.

    (換作是我會說 adequate proficiency in English)

    Featuring smile as well as self-confidence.

    Education

    Taiwan University of Science and Technology

    (你試著翻成中文看看, 是 Science and Technology, NTU 還是 NTU, Science and Technology, 這部份我看不懂)

    Bachelor of Business Administration

    Taichung Home Economics and Commercial High School

    Graduated from Business Affairs Department

    (請直接用 Business Affairs Department, Taichung....school)

    Employment

    Assistant in My Juice Shop. (Part-time job)

    Sales in Synnex Technology International Corp. (Full-time job)

    Clerk in She Pharmacy. (Part-time job)

    Administrator in China Motor Corp. (Full-time job)

    Fuel-adding operator in Chinese Petroleum Corp. (Part-time job)

    Waitress in King of Comic Multiple Shop. (Part-time job)

    (請依照時間順序排下來)

    Skills

    Be good at cleaning, washing, cashier, serving and smiling.

    (我不知道你要應徵什麼職務, 不過從這段看起來你要當清潔工)

    Specialized in Administrator as well as Sale and Marketing.

    (跟上面的很不搭嘎)

    Qualified for Chinese/English Typing (41/52 words per min).

    (Can you use this skill in the position you are applying for?)

    Operating computer systems: Windows XP, 2000, 98, and application software: Microsoft Office.

    Car driving licence.

    (DRIVER's LICENCE)

    Interests

    English, Food and Jogging.

    References available on request.

    ________________________________________________

    你的想法真的是很"中式", 不過沒關係! 請找一份美式或英式的範本來看, 相信你一定可以將你的履歷表弄的更好!

    加油!!

    Source(s): Self experience
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