My husband went to a club and he was drinking, then he went over to a girl and ask her to dance.?

Do you think that is a lust of flesh? I am very mad at him that he was so weak to do that. advice, especially we decide we want to walk in God path. Help.


I would like to say thank you for you comments and advice. But just reading a few of your advice just put a smile on my face. I will forgive and yes I will make an agreement when we do go out to clubs separate.

19 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    that is totally wrong. seek advise from your pastor or a couples counselor. what was he thinking? drinking or not?

  • 1 decade ago

    This is out of context. Do you guys often go out to bars and clubs? Is your husband generally prone to the "lust of flesh"? What is your agreement regarding going to bars and drinking? What is your agreement regarding dancing with other people? For my husband, dancing is a form of torture, he will not dance under any circumstances; so on a rare occasion that I happen to dance, I will dance with other people; it has nothing to do with lust, it has everything to do with me liking to dance. You should know your husband by now; if he's a lustful person, it will manifest itself in ways other than asking some girl to dance. Generally, if something bothers you, bring it up in a non-confrontational way and discuss it with him. You need to communicate your expectations. It may be that to him it's simply not a big deal and he has no idea your whole world is about to collapse just because he was in the mood to dance with some random girl.

  • keiko
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    And he decided to share the burden of his sin - going into the club, asking a girl to dance - with you. How kind of him to tell you --- not.

    Since you both have decided to walk in God's path, go to the minister of your church and get some counseling. If you don't have a church, join one and get involved in the activities that go on. Maybe that'll keep him busier so he won't have time to go to clubs.

    I would be hurt if my husband did this to me. I don't know if I would rather he tell me or not. It certainly would change my opinion of him. I would think he was weak and cruel. If this is all that happened, it wouldn't make me treat him meanly, hate him forever, or ask for a divorce.

    He made the decision to do what he did and then to put it onto you. You need to talk this out with each other and get some help.

    Good luck.

  • Axy
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    He just asked a woman to dance. What is wrong with our society that ANY interaction between a man and a woman has to be sexual? Maybe he just wanted to dance.

    If every time men and women talk to, look at, or are friendly towards one another there must be some "dirty" sexual component, then maybe we should take a page from Islam and all women should wear burkas and not be allowed to talk to men. That would quickly put a stop to "lusts of the flesh".

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  • I would love to take my wife out to a dance or a strip bar-just for fun purposes only! I enjoy crazy, silly fun and a good laugh. Also being a designated driver for crazy, silly other married couples within family relatives side. Life is too extremely short to not have fun, especially if you are 100% healthy and can move around easily. People with bad health problems-cannot dance at all. Marriage is supposely to be super fun-no matter what. Especially young newly weds couples. Go out and have a blast together. Enjoy the days of your youth, because tomorrow may never be the same. Enjoy the happy, crazy, silly moments with your wife or husband. [Take your digital camera] Its not a sin, to go out and enjoy life to the fullest with your spouse. At least I think so. My current wife right now does NOT enjoy dancing out or in. [she has no idea how much fun dancing is-poor her] So she lets me go out and dance with other women. Well I figue, if she cannot make me happy, then let me be happy. Is all in pure fun! Work hard-Play hard!

    Source(s): 14 yrs of marriage. Guys want to have super fun too, you know!!! Don't forget the Digital Camera-okay! Take lots of crazy, silly pics of your husband before and after drinking. You control your husband-not the other hot chics.
  • 1 decade ago

    This is why I think it's important to stop going to clubs when you are married. He was obviously in the wrong state of mind because he was drinking. In my opinion this is nothing to worry about...I think it's just a guy being drunk and stupid. All you have to do is ask him if he is happy with you and if he says he is, than you need to trust the love that is there and move on. If there has never been any indication of this kind of behavior before than don't worry... Don't sweat the small stuff...this is no big deal.

  • mattes
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    i understand the type you experience lol. i'm additionally very shy and went to the strip club with my husband. He enjoyed seeing me have a great time. He paid for me to get a private lap dance. Which grew to become into spectacular lol. whilst we've been given abode he asked me touching directly to the lap dance, advised him all approximately it. He have been given grew to become on by it and grew to become into chuffed I had a good time. We actual additionally had the perfect intercourse ever that night. i could say flow with the pass. there is no longer something incorrect with it. The stripper actual theory it grew to become into somewhat good that my husband and that i are so mushy in our marriage to do something like that. only flow with it =]

  • 1 decade ago


    Why did you allow him to go to the club alone. He must be missing something that he has to go to the club, may be he is depressed. It is natural when one drinks he loses sense, so nothing great about him asking the girl to dance.

    Next time get good music in the house, give him a drink, light dinner and a good night full of kisses, he will forget the club, when he gets club like treatment in the house.


  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think the fact that he is going to bars when he is married is a red flag in itself. I think its time you talk with him and really communicate about what he wants. It seems as though he is being immature and not wanting to be a husband. Walking a Godly path is possible even when you go out but it comes down to asking a girl to dance with, its inappropriate and I would definitely be upset as well. Talk with him, it isn't right and he needs to understand that.

  • 1 decade ago

    He did something dumb and drinking was part of it.

    That is one reason i quite drinking because I acted like your husband.

    God does not like people who give up. And he knows we will fall.

    Is your husband sorry and willing to move forward is the question?

    When you become a parent you can understand part of how god must feel and although you might be angry with your kids action you do love them.

    But you expect them to learn from there mistake and go forward.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    WHAT DOES GOD HAVE TO DO WITH THIS???????? ANYWAY>>> if you guys had an agreement NOT to dance with other people, then ya he shouldn't have done that. No I don't think it's a lush of flesh as you put it???? Some couples don't mind their spouse dancing with other people. Some couples do. So if you guys had an agreemnt not to do it then he shouldn't have.

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