Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 decade ago

why should men pay child support for children they never see?

not by his choice, the guy is a good person doesn't do drugs, has an ok paying job and wants to be in their life but doesn't have money to go to court b/c he has to pay bills so he can live somewhere and he pays child support.

the mother keeps the kids away and doesn't let them call or answer when the dad calls. yet asks for more money and gets it just like that no problem.

why should a man pay a for child that practically isn't his.

(i say that b/c he never sees or hears from them- i know he IS still the father)

17 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    legally he should not be paying child support if the mother is not allowing him his parental rights to see the children.

    if he is mandated by the court to provide child support then i'm sure she is violating HER court orders of giving him his visitation...

    in other words, he needs to take her to court...there is legal help available for those who cannot afford a private attorney.

    this may be wrong, but maybe he should just refuse to pay the child support so the matter is taken to court, by her, by the state...whatever it takes to get the matter reviewed by a judge so they can work out the details of visitation and child support.

    unless he has done something wrong there is no way a judge is going to rule that he has to pay for the kids and is not allowed to ever see them.

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  • Gail
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Commonsense should answer your question. Child support laws say that a CHILD IS ENTITLED to be supported by both parents. Any woman is responsible for the child, if she failed to insure that she did not get pregnant. If a man participates, and does not want a pregnancy to occur, then he ALSO failed to prevent the pregnancy. I will leave out any debates about abortions, except to say that many women do believe that an abortion is morally wrong, and not something they will ever do, even if they did not intend to get pregnant. The bottom line to my thinking is that, once a child is conceived/ born.. there is no longer an issue of what either the father OR mother "want". I personally don't accept the argument that a mom "tricked" a father into a pregnancy.. in this day and age, a man who absolutely does not want a child, has the option to either use his own protection, or get a vasectomy. If he does neither one.. then he has placed himself at risk, just as much as the woman who may not have used birth control. Taking your credit card analogy.. if you are dumb enough to GIVE the card to a person, and they run it up..you still are partly responsible. If you don't want a person to run up a bill on it, keep it locked up. Not trying to be hostile to you here. If I were a judge, and hearing a man whine that he didn't want a child, thus, should not pay, I would triple his child support order.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Child support is not an option it is a duty. He should be able to see his kids, but even if he is not they still need food on the table and a roof over their heads. I personally think women who use kids as a pawn in a non working relationship are stupid. The one who suffers in the end is the child. He should fight for his rights as a father. Call around, there are lawyers that will help for free, just got to find them. If anything they can advise you of all your rights.Also, try working on it through the state, men have rights for visitation. Does she have full custody?

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  • For the men that want to be involved and see the kids, I agree with you. That is really sad. He's just going to work the overtime, or get a second job to be able to afford to go to court and get visitation worked out. Or he can try to go to different attorney's and see if he can find one to do it pro-bono (free).

    At least he's a decent guy and is paying his support though, that says a lot...and I'm sure the lil ones will understand that as time goes on. Hopefully he can afford to go to court sometime soon, he deserves to see his kids.

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  • 1 decade ago

    if the mother is really denying him the right to see his child and he never gets to see them or talk to them over the phone and he has exhausted all other forms of communication emails, letters, and etc then its time to go back to court. Continue to pay the child support, it is his duty, and if he plans to take this court than he needs all the evidence that he is doing the right thing. one slip up in the payment and you might as well throw the whole case out. On your day off take a cab up to see the kids, if you show up and she's doing nothing than she cannot deny him the right to see the kids. If they have school plays or sports than he can show up there. He can take them out to lunch for their birthdays and things like that. If she is still trying to deny him then he just really needs to go back to court.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The kids are not avoiding the dad its the mom that's keeping the kids away from there dad. Its a sad situation, but no matter how you look at it the dads still the dad so he needs to support his kids and maybe work out a way were he can see them too.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I believe that just as child support is default when a couple separates, shared parenting should be the default as well. Statistics show that when both parents share custody, there are less problems with child support being paid on time.

    Unfortunately, the system currently believes that money is more important than a child having a relationship with it's parents.

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  • SoBox
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    That's a sad situation, and I hope something can be done so he can see his kids. Still, he should pay child support. CS is not a gift to the custodial parent, it's money to help take care of the child. When a noncustodial parent denies child support, he or she is only punishing the children for the ex's actions. If your friend wants to be a good father, he needs to keep paying his child support.

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  • 1 decade ago

    How and why is he paying child support if he hasn't gone to court? If he had gone to court and they ruled to make him pay child support he would also have either joint custody or visitation at the least.

    Is he just paying of pocket because she asks?

    He needs to go to court again.and get that all worked out. If he is low income and it sounds like he is he can get the fees waived and a state lawyer appointed to him normally. He needs to look into it.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Because, it's his kid. However, I don't think the mother should deny him the right to see his own kids if he's done nothing wrong to show that he's not good with parenting.

    I agree that it is unfair to expect him to pay for the kid but at the same time deny him the right to see the kid.

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