Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

my husband lost his wedding ring- why doesn't he care more?

I have been married for almost three months. When we were dating, I let my husband wear my class ring, which cost $400, and he lost it.

I was really upset for a while, but i love him, and it was only a ring.

His wedding band got lost today, and he didn't even notice until he was eating lunch.

He came home and told me, and I didn't get angry, but I am really hurt!

why does he keep saying it's no big deal?

26 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Because to him, it doesn't matter. He doesn't put any personal value on jewelry. My girlfriend's school ring was important to her, but to him it was just a ring. The same thing with the wedding ring. He doesn't get it, what wearing the wedding ring means. To him, the only thing he lost was just a piece of jewelry.

    Girl! Don't try to understand it. It will just drive you crazy and make your hair turn gray : ) A man's brain is wired completely different then a woman's. You are thinking like a woman and a man just can't do that. Men really are clueless and have no idea why the woman is so upset. He's thinking, it's no big deal, it was just a ring, it's not like I lost one of our kids at the store and came home without him. Lol

    Believe me, there will be many times in your marriage, when you will get so frustrated with your husband's "clueless" way of thinking or the fact that he doesn't even think, that at times you will just want to slap him up side the head and say, "is there even anything in there?" Lol

    A successful marriage is really hard work and it takes a woman with a lot of patience. That's why I'm single. After 14 years I didn't want to go insane and end up in prison for strangling my husband.

  • 1 decade ago

    OK, this is going to sound really bad, but I once lost my wedding ring as well. Plus, I'm not always the greatest about wearing it. Not because I don't take my marriage seriously or because I want to seem as if I am not married, but for 2 reasons: 1) I can't want having anything that 'stands up' on my finger (I always seem to catch it on things) and 2) I have been referred to by those that know me as having OCD when it comes to hand-washing....can't stand to feel "dirty". Anywho, the last time I lost my ring, I did a looksee for it, but did not tear the house apart to find it. Why? Because it seems like the harder I seek out something, the less likely I am to find it - strange but true. In this particular case, tearing the house apart wouldn't have solved anything - hubby found it inside a 'secret' lint trap of our front-loading washer. See - I'd never have found it on my own.

    In my defense, I do not usually lose jewelry: I still have all the jewelry I have gotten over the years.

    The question I would have is why/where he removed his ring in the first place? Women remove them a lot to apply hand lotion, which can lead to a lost ring once put down, but most men don't always do this.

  • 1 decade ago

    He noticed it was lost, he was just afraid of what your reaction would be and didn't want to rush into what he thought would be an argument. Don't let your husband trick you. He was trying to hide his shame for as along as possible.

    I would just like to say I lost my wedding band and nearly lost my head. I was devastated and very upset with myself. I took it off because I sprained the finger it was on, it swelled up and hurt terribly. I didn't put it in a safe enough place and I lost it. My husband didn't care one bit. He said that he trusted that I was still the same wife with the ring or without it and that a wedding ring was not going to force me to be any different then who I was with it on. He said he was sorry for what I was putting myself threw over losing the ring in the first place. This was reassuring and helpful to me however I wanted a replacement. We researched new rings and waited...After 7 weeks we decided were going to replace the ring. The very day we were preparing to go make the new purchase, my old ring was found.

    Source(s): my "lost ring" experience
  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Considering your husband is a Marine, I seriously doubt jewelry is allowed in his line of work. My boyfriend has already told me that when/if we get married that I'll rarely see him with his ring on. He works for the railroad and any sort of jewelry out there is a safety hazard. I'm sure this is why your husband isn't wearing his ring. Think of it this way: would you rather he have the ring in his truck, or have the ring on his finger during some freak accident which causes him to not be able to wear a ring at all?

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  • 1 decade ago

    Bullshit. Men are just as capable of understanding symbolism and responsibility as women are. Here's the thing. I wear a ring as well.

    Either,

    A.) The ring is too big, and he hasn't made an attempt to get it sized, which is a sign.

    B.) He takes it off often enough to misplace it.

    Either way, this is a sign. Don't let him bullshit you, ask him for the straight truth on how he's feeling. And don't listen to any of this completely ignorant "Guys are just different than women" crap, men understand emotions, men know what responsibility is, men have the ability to research, contemplate, and understand what a wedding ring is and how marriage works before committing to it. Men are not animals, they just use that popular ideal as a running excuse, and it's ridiculous. Don't let him pull you around like that.

    Edit : I am completely shocked by the amount of women that actually believe their husbands are "Physically wired differently to the point of inability to recognize spirituality, symbolism, sentiment, and emotion." It's almost offensive. I would never remove my ring, and if forced from my hand, it would still remain there spiritually until I got it back, come hell or high water. People don't understand that this is a sake of prejudice. You get enough media, and you think that all blondes are idiot cheerleaders, and all men are goofy slapstick comedians without the ability to feel. It's unfair, both to the party being misinformed about it, and the persons pretending its true.

  • 1 decade ago

    I Know that the ring is very important in a ceremony for what it symbolizes, but you didn't marry the ring, you married your husband, good thing is that he lost the ring and he didn't get lost for a couple of days!

  • 1 decade ago

    Do you think he might be pawning them off for money?..it's just a thought.

    Was his ring too big for his finger? What type of work does he do? I know that some jobs won't allow their employee's to wear a ring because it's classified as a health hazard.

    I really am sorry and I know that you're upset. I know it would bother me too. My husband lost his ring one time while we were out canoeing. He took his ring off and put it on his key ring in his swim shorts pocket, we flipped the canoe and his keys sank and we never found them. I was sick. So I can identify with you.

  • 1 decade ago

    Wedding rings do not mean the same thing to men as they do to most women. Lots of men do not like jewelry.

    I never got the meaning of having husband wear a ring. He does not like jewelry and I never got him one and it does not bother me a bit.

    If he loves you, he should not have to prove it by wearing a ring. If he does not love you and intends to fool around...a ring will not protect you. Tell him you agree and it is no big deal.

    Source(s): still married after 18 years and hubby never had a ring!
  • 1 decade ago

    Two distinct possibilities: First, He doesn't care about the relationship so losing the ring is no big deal. I know guys like this.

    Second, the ring is petty compared to the relationship and guys don't usually have an emotional attachment to the 'symbol' of the ring like women. I admit, I lost my wedding band 2 months after our marriage and haven't replaced it yet. My wife understands that I am sorry about it but that it's not that important. Certainly not as important as hers is to her. My guess is that your situation is number two. Use your feminine charms to sit down and explain to him how important it is to YOU. Let him know that you understand it's different for guys and you know it's not as important to him as yours is to you. Add that it just makes you feel so warm and in love every time you see that ring on his finger and that it makes you want to do anything for him to make him happy. If necessary, go so far as to add that when you don't see the ring all the time, you feel like something is missing or.... blah blah blah whatever comes to mind. If he loves you he will take this to heart and replace it. If not, you need to seriously look at your situation. GOOD TEST.

    Source(s): YEARS in the wedding industry. Hope it helps
  • 1 decade ago

    I dont even wear my wedding rings. My hubby is secure enough to realise that its no big deal - ring is not some magic forcefeild of love or fidelity like some people think. He knows I love him and I know he love me. The ring is nice but for some reason after 4 years it started to give me rash.I had a man in a bar one night tell me it ewas dishonest not to wear it and thsat he'd wasted 30 mins of his life trying to chat me up cos he thught i was single. Its no biggy if theres no ring.

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