Why does he think we will be more stable when we are married?

My fiance and i had a daughter on Jan 28 and she past away on april 27 of S.I.D.S. we talked about more kids before she past away but lately he has been in the same place i am. We both want more kids soon. He is a police officer and that is not going to change so why does he say we should wait until we are married to have another child? the pay will be the same we are already living together, have been for over a year, and we already have our bills in check. so what would make us more stable after the wedding? i don't understand, he says that he wants to wait until after we are married for kids. It makes me feel as if he is trying to act like our daughter never existed. help? anyone?

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  • 1 decade ago
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    The only difference is a piece of paper. You will never forget your daughter. Maybe he just wants to do things in the traditional order. Personally I feel it doesn't matter what order you do the steps as long as you complete the process :)

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First, I am very sorry about your daughter I hope you all find the peace and strength you need to get though this. Second I don't think he is acting like she never existed I think that he just wants the stability in the relationship ie. marriage before you guys have anymore kids. Its not a bad thing he loves you and whats you to be his wife and have more kids with you. I know you are going though a lot right now but, I think this is a good thing he WANTS to move forward with YOU. If your not ready let him know if he really loves you (and it sounds like he does :) ) he will stick with you! Good Luck to you both and best wishes in the future.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Because thats the right thing to do. You are getting the cart before the horse and 2 wrongs doesn't make a right. Maybe he sorta feels like this also. I know children out of wedlock today is very common, but it just isn't right. Kids can be cruel and children out of wedlock use to be called ugly names that followed them around thru out their lives. For the sake of matrimony and your future children and the "father of your child/children", do the right thing. And I'm so sorry of the loss ya'lls child. God Bless and Good Luck!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It could be that he could not stand another situation like this again, and if you two were not married then it would be easier for both of you to bail out of the relationship if you wanted. I think right now he is just feeling very insacure, and perhaps if you guys get married this will give him a sense of conrtol and stability. Not necessarily financial stability but emotional.

    I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope it all works out for you both.

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  • 1 decade ago

    i dont know why i got this feeling but maybe for some reason he thinks loosing your daughter was punishment for having her out of wedlock and thats why he wants to wait. for some stupid reason there are people out there that think marriage makes the difference and that it fixes everything but thats not what its about. all the child needs is love and support and if you can provide that then thats all that matters! just sit down and have a serious talk with him and find out why he really feels this way.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Just a crazy idea, but some people think they are being 'punished' when things like that happen. Maybe he thinks that was his punishment for having a child out of wedlock and he wants to make it right next time. I am so sorry for your loss, and I wish you the best of luck when you two do decide to have another one!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    sounds like he needs time and a different situation. Give him time.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe your fiance feels that if you guys are married....then you both will have GOD's blessing

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  • 1 decade ago

    just wait, chill, it'll be alright

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