Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicMusicLyrics · 1 decade ago

do you know of any good song lyrics or short funny quotes 2 cheer sum1 up?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Songs: Alley-OOP by Hollywood Argyles

    Hit The Road Jack by Ray Charles

    Gitarzan by Ray Stevens

    Humorous Quotations:

    ACTINg: To act with my clothes on is a performance; to act with my

    clothes off is a Documentary [Julia Roberts]

    ADVICE: Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it

    annoys the pig [Paul Dickson]

    If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. [John

    Wayne]

    AGE: There was no respect for youth when I was yooung, and now that I am old, there is no respect for age. I missed it coming and going

    [J.B. Priestley]

    AMERICA: The trouble with America is that there are too many open

    spaces surrounded by teeth. [Charles Luckman]

    BASEBALL: Baseball is the favourite sport because it's so slow. Any

    idiot can follow it. And just about any idiot can play it. [Gore Vidal]

    DATING: When a man goes on a date he wonder's if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows [Frederick Ryder]

    DRUGS: Cocaine isn't habit-forming. I should know - I've been using it

    for years [Tallulah Bankhead]

    EXERCISE: I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people

    who annoy me. [Noel Coward]

    FAME: I think that's just another word for washed-up has-been. [Bob

    Dylan on being an "icon"]

    FOOTBALL: Football is not a contact sport: it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. [Vince Lombardi]

    HEALTH: Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. [Bill Maher]

    MEN: Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong, and disposable [Cher]

    NUDITY: It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on [Marilyn

    Monroe]

    MUSIC: Karaoke is God's way of letting you know you've drunk too much. [Dylan Jones]

    MORALITY: All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal

    or fattening. [Alexander Woollcott]

    POLICE: I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse. [Brendan Behan]

    SPORT: Swimming isn't a sport. It's just a way to keep from drowning

    [George Carlin]

    WOMAN: To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. [Cary Grant]

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    "There's no such thing as perfect, just varying degrees of almost." It was in the middle of a really good story I once read, and it was during an angsty sad moment that one of the characters said it. I cried. Other quotes I like: You asked me, "Whose life is more important, mine or yours?" I said mine. You walked away, not knowing that you are my life. One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching. Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back. It only means you are two steps ahead. Anyone who thinks sunshine is pure happiness has never danced in the rain. If the world didn't suck, we'd fall off. Today is a gift, that's why it's called present. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. The quality of life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. Love isn't what makes the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Experience is a hard teacher; she gives the test first and the lesson afterward. Words are heavy things, they weigh you down. If birds talked, they couldn't fly. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world. You can be sad that roses have thorns or you can be happy that thorns have roses. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Just because you make a mistake doesn't mean you are a mistake. If life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life you have a thousand reasons to smile. Don't take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyways. Reach for the stars, even if you have to stand on a cactus. Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times. Change your thoughts and change your world. Be the change you want to see in the world. Happiness itself does not stay-only moments of happiness do. In order to change we must be sick and tired of being sick and tired. A chain is as strong as its weakest link. A broken heart is like a broken mirror: it is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it. Only God can judge me. Anyone who thinks sunshine is pure happiness has never danced in the rain. If life gives you lemons, stuff them in your bra. If life gives you limes, mix up the letters and turn them into a smile. Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is opportunity. Your work is to discover your work and with all your heart to give yourself to it. Before you can walk in someone else's shoes, you must first remove your own. Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Imagination is one weapon in the war against reality. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Cb7inx4BLA

    Youtube thumbnail

    This is funny and will cheer you up!

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