Wedding in 3 wks... Families dont get along?

My fiance and i are getting married on Sept 27th...

Our families dont get along - things have happened that just cannot be forgiven - - - - - - - -

My mom got really mad at my fiance (boyfriend back then) because she over heard him telling me that i shouldnt listen to her, i was 18; an adult, and had to make my own decisions - yada yada yada - -

Well, she hit him.

His aunt was drunk a few nights later started thinking about what happened between him and my mom...

She actually called the Department of Childrens Services on me - - - - Sent them to my house several times telling them lies that would result in my son (2 at the time) to be taken away from me.

Thank God, they never took him.

Things have gotten better, but she just wont admit that she called - but when it happened the social worker told me it was her.

She has been very polite and tolerable since she found out about the engagement - but im afraid there may be some drama because the reception is at her house....

I dont know if his family and my family will be able to handle being around eachother for so long.

Im hoping they can just tolerate eachother for the ceremony and reception... after that i really dont care about what they do.

This is my wedding day and i dont want it to be a disaster.

Any suggestions on how to keep the peace?

Thanks.

Update:

It was my fiance's aunt's idea to have the reception at her house, thats her wedding present to us - to have the reception there and shes a caterer so shes also providing all of the food and the cake... she asked him - and without thinking he accepted...

i dont need a bunch of grief; just a few suggestions that will make the process easier.

Update 2:

We cant elope as the wedding is in 3wks...

everything including the reverend, and destination spto etc have already been paid for and reserved...

12 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If its too late to adjust the venue, get some people you can trust, friends or whatever, to play backup for you. Assign them to the troublemakers and have them watch these people during the reception, especially if alcohol is involved. Ask these friends or trustworthy people to intervene and distract anyone that starts down topics of dangerous conversation. Try to have them keep these people entertained and talking about safe topics.

    If you have a seating arrangement, try to place the troublesome family members away from each other and with people they have things in common with and will talk a lot with.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Expect Drama, don't stress about it or worry about what might happen. Just enjoy it for the entertainment value and good stories it will provide!

    For example- I was actually in a wedding where the Bride's father was caught in an intimate position with the groom's aunt... They were both married to other people. It took the bride awhile but she looks back on that brief 15 minute episode and laughs.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If you don't get along with your mom, then why on earth would you have your reception at her home? I would quickly try and find another neutral reception site such as a park, VFW hall, or something else to avoid any potential conflict.

    I would also have a frank discussion with both sides of the family stating that there will be NO drama at the wedding. Anyone causing drama will be promptly removed. I don't know whether you are having an open bar or not, but alcohol does not tend to bring out the best in people who already do not get along!

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  • weigel
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    I do not consider so. I have three boys, and most effective had morning ailment with the primary 2. There would be many factors you're now not experiencing morning ailment. Maybe you will have converted your vitamin? Snack extra more often than not? More undertaking? Anyhow, for those who desire a boy, I desire you the great!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Elope, and then move completely away from both families. If you continue to live near either of them, they are going to continue to cause problems in your marriage from here until eternity. Divorce will follow. Leave now, and don't look back.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I would suggest having the wedding some place neutral and not at either one of their houses.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You need to discuss this with each of them separately ahead of time. Explain to them that this is your special day, and you hope that they can behave politely for one day. I would also explain to them that if they ruin your day, that would be unforgivable. Hopefully they will eralize they are all adults, and this is about you.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Tell them its your wedding and don't they want you to be happy. Its your choice to marry who ever you want to marry and they should know that. if things go bad, just fake crying so they confort you and it might help the cause.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Have some undercover cops around, just in case.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Why on earth are you having the reception at her house?? And why have you not thought about this before? If they hate each other so much why don't you just elope?

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