Your husband gets another woman pregnant...?
Your husband gets another woman pregnant four months after the two of you separated (not a legal separation). You've been on opposite sides of the country during this time.
Neither of you agreed to see other people during the separation. Your objective was NOT to end the marriage.
When all is said and done, do you wash your hands of him? Do you stick it out and hang onto your marriage? What do you do? Would your answer change if you were also pregnant with his child at the same time the other woman was? Explain!
- Anonymous1 decade agoBest Answer
Anything can be worked out if you love the person, but if you don't feel 100% that he won't do it again or that he isn't truly sorry - then I would say its over.
- 1 decade ago
Depends how long I had been married for and how hard I wanted my marriage to work. Doesnt sound like he played fair on a trial separation if you had agreed not to see other people but rather just see how the separation feels. Did you give a time limit for your separation? If you didnt, that's not really fair - he probably assumed it was fair game to play around as he considered himself 'separated'. What does he want now? If there is another woman pregnant with his child he has to take responsibility for that child. How would you feel about that? How does he feel about the other child? There is extra baggage now in your relationship. Not to mention a forthcoming child (or two). Can you forgive him? You need to talk about what's going on, what you now feel for each other, and how to put two unborn children at the top of your priorities.
- Anna OgLv 61 decade ago
RE>>Would your answer change if you were also pregnant with his child at the same time the other woman was? Explain!
Has been known to happen. I know 'cousins' who are in fact brother and sister and the marriage survived. As did the other relationship. Up to and including blending 'cousin Lelia' into family events, eventually dropping the pretense of cousins. Mothers seem to tolerate each other. Father is quite proud of his off spring, all of them.. I think there are about five or six by various wives and relationships The attitude is what's done is done. Dad is a bit something else though, high liver, never employed for long, always on the verge of breaking into a 'great deal'. manages to sell cars, drive a tow truck on off hours and BS's his way through life..
but his wife and hs other lady are very intelligent, educated, beautiful, elegant women with great careers. Don't ask me, I just know them.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
OK I'm confused. Why would you not leave him??
If the objective was not to end the marriage, and at some point working it out, why is there another woman in the picture and on top of that, a pregnant woman!
Honey, put him out now. This "time" that was supposed to be used for fixing your marriage was used getting another woman pregnant. YOu don't need him.
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- Jenn BLv 51 decade ago
I don't know about the both women being pregnant at the same time issue.
Really, the choice is yours. What do you want? Do you want to stay married to him or would you rather be single and find another fish in the sea?
I've never had this happen but I made a choice with tough lessons behind it. My youngest son's father was married. I was separated from mine. Before you flame me for what I did, I want to share with you the experiences I had with my sons step mom.
I didn't want to be in a relationship with him. His wife wanted to work things out which really surprised me (after what I found out). That was four years ago. All his wife cares about is her two kids and my son. She has put all the other junk behind to focus on what is MOST Important. She did do some counseling as did her husband and two teenage children.
It really depends on how the other woman is. If she is expecting him to take care of her and this child and he wants to do that then I wouldn't stick around.
He HAS to be accountable but he also HAS to make a decision if he wants to stay married or not. If he wants to stay married he has to focus on him and you.
Are you willing to accept the child and the possibility he will have visitations? Can you play the role of step mom?
It takes a lot of work to be the patient, loving, caring step mom. I do know from my sons step mom she has worked extremely hard to get through alot. She forgave me and we get a long well. All three of us went to a counseling sesssion at my church and got a lot resolved.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
While a man and woman are separated and living in different time zones you are allowed to see whom ever you choose. There really are no rules stating that you have to continue being monogamous when you are not living together, are there?
If he has another woman pregnant, then leave him. That kind of drama is not worth putting up with. Getting phone calls to your house from another woman? Part of your hubby's paycheck going to a total stranger. Yeah, that is a drama that you do not need.
If you are pregnant then you need to sue him for child support and you can raise the baby without him. You will find someone else. You will love again.
Please wash your hands of him and move on.
- ♦justme♦Lv 61 decade ago
I would wash my hands of him. No my answer wouldn't change if I was also pregnant. If my objective was really to not end the marriage, then I wouldn't have been on the opposite side of the country to begin with. Separation doesn't improve marriage, communication does, and apparently we have none if he's dating and impregnating other women.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
the only person who can decide to stay or leave is you. but if you were willing to make it work then this should not change anything. marriage is not easy and is a lot of work and no matter what happens you should always do your best to work it out. maybe go to counseling. men have a hard time keeping it in there pants and if you were seperated then is it really cheating? I realize you agreed not to see other people but you were seperated and that means he didnt do it while he was with you.
- CCLv 41 decade ago
Men view a "separation" as a free pass to screw around even if the intent was to save the relationship. I would say dump him. If I was pregnant too I would still dump him. Being a single parent is the hardest job in the world so of course hypothetically it's easy for me to say I'd dump him. Good luck hon
- Crystal LeeAnnLv 61 decade ago
I would go ahead and get a divorce. There has been too much time and space between you to make this work now. Just for grins and giggles, let's say you two get back together. That pregnancy will always be a thorn in your side. He will not stop the contact with her because that is his child. Then, there will be child support payments, visitations, etc. He will always be in contact with her. Do you want that? Besides that, he has already shown his inability to stick to any agreements. Whose to say he will keep anymore with you?
- MalvinaLv 44 years ago
husband woman pregnant