Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

請幫我修改文法錯誤的地方

My name is XX, X. I am graduate from XXXX and major is Time Series Analysis, Risk analysis, Macroeconomics, Microeconomics and Econometric. In order to strengthen the financial field, I also learn some course about Investment, Financial Management, Futures and Options.

After accomplish my university studies, I work in CCC Securities, mainly is responsible for the service the development and assistance client property disposition. Not only understand the work procedure, but also advance my technical analysis, judge ability and promotion the market sensitivity. Because I want to enforce my programming ability, therefore I participate the master test and go to study the XXXX. Except learn the knowledge, I also promote the ability of compile program. Because I have interest in the stock research, consequently, my Master's thesis is in relation to the stock market, discussion the possibility of the extreme co-movement among Asian stock markets given that an extreme positive or negative shock occurs in one of them. The conclusions can help bullish and bearish investors understand the co-movement between Asian markets under extreme impact so that the goal of diversifying risks with appropriate investment portfolios may be achieved.

I believe the specialized knowledge and the skill must have a benefit to your firm.

Update:

謝謝你們兩位

兩位的回答我都有參考

所以我想就交由投票來決定吧

2 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    你的文章中有些介係詞使用錯誤 建議您下次寫文章時可以邊查字典邊確定

    有些句子太長 會讓讀者難以理解句意 建議您盡可能的將句子改短

    過去發生的事情 像是讀研究所的經驗及工作經驗 應用過去式/ 或是過去完成式

    有些句子您似乎將主詞省略 我試圖將主詞加上去 這樣比較好懂

    比如說 In order to strengthen the financial field這樣讀起來是 "為了增強財務領域" 但您想說的是"為了增強我在財務領域的能力/知識" 所以我將句子改成 "In order to strengthen my understanding of the financial field"....

    希望可以幫得上您的忙

    My name is XXX. I graduated from XXXX, majoring in Time Series Analysis, Risk analysis, Macroeconomics, Microeconomics and Econometric. In order to strengthen my understanding of the financial field, I also took some courses in Investment, Financial Management, Futures and Options.

    After accomplishing the studies in the university, I’ve worked in the CCC Securities where I was mainly responsible to the service, the development and the assistance of clients’ property disposition. The experience have not only helped me understand the working procedure, but also advanced my ability to analyze technical data, to judge as well as to promote the market sensitivity. Because I wanted to enhance my programming ability, I participated in the master exam and went to study the XXXX. Besides learning the knowledge about programming, the master study has also promoted my ability to compile programs. Because of my interests in the stock research, my master thesis is related to the stock market, discussing the possibility of the extreme co-movement among Asian stock markets by giving extremely positive or negative shocks in Asian stock markets. The conclusions of my thesis helps bullish and bearish investors understand the co-movement among Asian markets under extreme impacts, so their goal of diversifying risks with appropriate investment portfolios can be achieved.

    I believe that my specialities and skills will benefit your firm.

  • 1 decade ago

    My name is XX, X. I "graduated" from XXXX and "my major" is Time Series Analysis, Risk analysis, Macroeconomics, Microeconomics and Econometric. In order to strengthen "the field of finance" , I also "learned" some "courses" "in" Investment, Financial Management, Futures and Options.

    After "accomplishing" my university studies, I work in CCC Securities,"and my job is mainly" responsible for the service, the development and assistance "in client's" property disposition. "It not only help me understand the work procedure, but also make an advance in my technical analysis, judge ability and" promotion of the market sensitivity". Because I want to enforce my programming ability", therefore," I "participated" the master test and "went" to study the XXXX. "Besides" "learning" the knowledge, I also promoted the ability of "compiling programs". Because I have interest in the stock research, consequently, my Master's thesis is in relation to the stock market"and"discussion the possibility of the extreme co-movement among Asian stock markets given that an extreme positive or negative shock "occurred" in one of them. The conclusions can help bullish and bearish investors understand the co-movement "among" Asian markets under extreme impact so that the goal of diversifying risks with appropriate investment portfolios may be achieved.

    I believe the specialized knowledge and the skill must "be" a benefit to your firm.

    已一字一句仔細檢查過,希望沒有疏忽或錯誤的地方...

    2008-09-03 02:08:30 補充:

    有 " " 括起來的就是有改過的

    Source(s): 喜歡英文的我
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