Past problems affecting relationship with new husband?

My husband and I have been married about one year. We are both 45 and have the full complement of ex's, daughters, step-daughters, former in-law's, etc., most of which we take in stride. However, I was involved in a violent relationship for five years which I was finally able to extricate myself from. It seems that... show more My husband and I have been married about one year. We are both 45 and have the full complement of ex's, daughters, step-daughters, former in-law's, etc., most of which we take in stride. However, I was involved in a violent relationship for five years which I was finally able to extricate myself from. It seems that the scars from that are negatively affecting my marriage now. When we argue, I have a tendency to get really extreme really fast (always yelling, which he can't stand, and occasionally throwing things), and I recognize that this is a result of the irrational survival skills I learned in the scary relationship, but I can't figure out how to let go of them. I definitely am suffering from PTSS. Also, my husband tends to be passive and have a hard time making his point when we disagree, and I feel very goaded by that. Goaded to behave too extremely. Does any one have any ideas? I have gone to therapy, but I recognize that I'm probably not done there or I wouldn't still be having such severe dysfunction in my relationship.
Update: PTSS: Post traumatic stress sydrome, which has been diagnosed as a result of the violent relationship and an assault that took place about a year ago. It's been a really hard year, but I don't want to ruin this marraige as a result of the fallout of all that came before.
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