Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

My family are pressuring me to join the army. What should I do?

I have worked different jobs, nothing fantastic, but I do have an education and work experience. I have recently returned from teaching English in South America and have experience working in the college system. I am looking for work at the moment as I quit my job to return back home because I thought I wouldn't get anything better than ESL abroad. I am not sure what I will end up doing as a career, but I will figure it out. It is tough because my parents have high expectations. My brother is a lawyer and my sisters are a doctor and banker. My parents are also professionals and very well educated. I took a different path in life and am now unemployed. It hasn't been for long, but it is hard nonetheless and they are pressuring me a great deal. They have this idea that I should sign up for the Army and serve. I am Canadian by the way. Anyway, it doesn't feel right to me, The military is not something, in my opinion, you can enter into unless you are 100% for it yourself. I have told my parents this so many times, but they are verbally harrassing me and it is so unpleasant between us. I went to the county fair the other week with my mom because she was lonely and asked me to come and she went up to the military recruiters there and started talking about me joining,

Since I have left my job abroad I have returned to nothing. I was overseas for 5 years and I now really know no one here at home and have no apartment/house of my own here. I have been living with my parents, which I know is tough, but I can't find work and I have no where else to stay. After arguing, my parents have now kicked me out and I am living with my brother. He has a nice apartment about 2 hours drive from my parents in a large city. He only has a one bedroom though, so I am camping on his living room floor. He is away on business at the moment for a couple of weeks and he has loaned me his place. He hopes I can get a place of my own by the time he returns. If not, and it is not looking good, I don't know where I will turn or go. By the way, no one in my family is in the military. Of course, my grandfathers served in WWII, but apart from that my mom and family know nothing of the military.

What do you make of all of this?


I have a university degree, two actually...and I am still paying off my student loans! Further education does not seem possible at the moment and besides I am not sure what I would study. I applied to do an MBA but wasn't accepted into the programs I applied to (I guess they are very competitive) and also tried for law a few years back. I didn't make the cut. After getting all the rejection letters I left for abroad. Now, I am back and jobless.

7 Answers

  • lala
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I am Canadian ; so Hi Ok about you ; 2 things caught my attention right away . You are very intelligent ; but right now you are depress ; so get some help for your depression ; because being away so far from your home for so long and putting up with the pressure of your parents doesn't goes together . Usually people who had live abroad ; become very independent and assertive with any body ; parents and siblings included . I do not know in which province you are living ; but Edmonton Alberta would be a good choice for a instant job [ One of my son live there ] and he told me ; that if you do not work ; its because you do not want work ; because the shortage of [ hands is so great ] And NO do not join the Army ; it will be a mistake you will regret for the rest of your life ; your whole body is telling you that army is not for you ; so listen your inner voice . You say your parents have money ; what about going to university and getting a degree ; I am sure your parents will pay all your fees ; plus your boarding ; and maybe right now it will be wise to wait for any kind of big project . You know every one reach a cross road in their life ; and you are there ; but some light will come in a very unexpected way Stay strong and choose your career and forget what your parents are expecting of you ; its your life not theirs ;; Source I am 65 yrs and mother of 5 grown up kids Good Luck

  • ABCD
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I chose a path like you. I left for 8 years and came back ... to go to grad school in a career my parents didn't approve of. They also lied to their friends about my first degree b/c it embarrassed them to have a child who was't a doctor or an engineer.

    When you're on your deathbed will you think, "I'm so glad I lived a curageous life, full of adventure and I followed my heart!" or will you think, "Thank God I joined the army to please my parents!"

    Also, if you join the military, that deathbed could be just around the corner.

    Stick to your guns. Get a job at McDonalds so you can get a studio apartment and eat ramen every night so that no one will have the right to push you around and destroy your self esteem while you find your ideal job.

    Good luck.

    Edit: If you're unwilling to do the McDonald's thing (or the like) then your parents might just think you're a freeloader. You don't sound like the type, but you have to live on your own.

    Make it very clear that you will not discuss the military thing any more. IF they talk about it, leave the building. If it comes up on the phone, hang up. Be very very firm. And don't live under any one else's roof.

  • 1 decade ago

    You seem like a very bright person. I don't understand why you would let your parents harass you. If you are an adult you shouldn't have to let anyone manipulate your life. The good thing is that you're out of their house. The best thing you can do is keep searching for a job, thank god your brother was nice enough to take you in. Joining the army is not a solution for you obviously because it's not in your heart. Please do not do it if you don't really want to. One of my brothers joined a few years back just because our younger brother joined and he wanted to look over him out there. He ended up staying longer than my younger brother and was stuck in Baghdad for the longest time. The sad thing was he absolutely hated it and thought it was the stupidest mistake of his life, being part of a stupid war. He was doing awful things he will never forget in his life. They are both out now thank god. Anyway don't give up on your own dreams and hope you can find a job as soon as possible. Keep your eyes open.

  • ridder
    Lv 4
    3 years ago

    forget the army and forget your loved ones's abusive and stupid suggestions. the army isn't some thing human beings sign in for on a whim, that's a existence sort decision and easily suitable for specific human beings, people who're with out different suggestions. You, on the different hand have lots of suggestions, experience, self belief, and so on. i assume you're spending your days searching for a job you need on your favorite container, and that's great. right here interior the states you would be employed at present rather instructor, if not a instructor, assuming you have a 4 year degree and coaching credentials. in case you may not get a job like that suitable away, then by skill of all skill, locate some thing else. you be conscious of nicely you have have been given to get accessible and consult with human beings and save your self around. Who is conscious, perhaps there is yet another united states you may desire to bypass to the place they want instructors, and by skill of next week you may desire to be in China, Japan, Africa, or anyplace you like.

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  • 1 decade ago

    if you don't want to join the army, tell them you won't because you make the decision. Because they can't put your life on the line. It's you who chooses what you do in your life, not theirs. So stand up for your self, it just might work. Good luck.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Do what's best for YOU.

    Put your family preferences aside and decide what is in YOUR future.

    Joining the military is a huge commitment and it needs to be right for you.

  • tell them if they love you, they won't talk about joining the army. you could get seriously hurt, mentally or physically,or even die. and if you don't die, you will have a traumatic experience that can negatively change your life forever.

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