PT asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

各位英文高手..check一下我的文章!! (20點)

Reflection

Among the novel, I learn three things. Firstly, a great family is on the basis of great emotions between everyone. Generally, without arguments, jealousy, anger, and so forth, it will possible be a happy family. Second, it is an important thing that how to face death. No one in the world can live forever. This is a process which everyone has to experience. We need to have a right attitude to see the thing. Third, we should do what we should do. Every family has different stories. To make efforts to make ourselves be better in the future is very important.

7 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    修正如下,請參考(括符內為修正處,附加說明於內):

    Reflection

    (On) the novel, I learn(ed) three things. First(ly去除,因後面的second, third都無ly,應一致), a great family is on the basis of great emotions (among members)( 如使用everyone對象則不明確,是含家人的每個人嗎?). Generally, (if it ,it指 the family,前再加 if 構成後面成為快樂家庭的前提條件,較為通順 )without arguments, jealousy, anger(,去除) and so forth, it will (possibly, 如使用possible是形容詞,放於be前不正確) be a happy family. Second, it is (important, 原句是正確的,此處只是將其簡化) that how to face death. No one in the world can live(s) forever. (That, 因已與要代表的how to face death 分開,使用that 較佳) is a process (of life, 什麼的process, 應說明清楚)( , 加逗點改為非限定關係代名詞用法,因which 並未緊接於其所代的process之後)which everyone has to experience. We (should be with ,我們應以正確的態度去看它,如說我們需要有正確的態度去……,語言敘述比較不順)a right attitude to see (that, 較精簡). Third, we should do what we (ought to, 減少用語重複) do. (Each,every 也可) family has different (problems, 改用此字,以和後面之better 對應,內容敘述較為完整,否則story不見得是負面的,為何還要讓自已更better?就少了說明)(, devoting, 減少使用 make) efforts to make ourselves (be去除,better 是形容詞可直接加於名詞後,例如 it makes me better now.) better in the future is very important.

    2008-08-27 00:51:20 補充:

    補充漏字

    如使用everyone對象則不明確,是含家人(以外)的每個人嗎?

    加"以外"兩個字

    2008-08-27 01:08:20 補充:

    請注意........ a process of life(,) , life後須一逗點,才得構成非限定用法,勿漏掉。

    2008-08-27 01:55:15 補充:

    第一句 Among the novel, I learn three things.

    "我從小說學到三件事",從.......上學到什麼 ,使用 among 是不正確的,among一般都使用於幾項事物之間上,如真是從幾本小說中學得某事,novel 也應加s 成為複數才對。

    2008-08-27 02:11:45 補充:

    無說明之修正文章

    Reflection

    On the novel, I learned three things. first, a great family is on the basis of great emotions among members, generally, if it without arguments, jealousy, anger and so forth, it will possibly be a happy family.

    2008-08-27 02:12:25 補充:

    續上段

    Second, it is important that how to face death, no one in the world can lives forever. that is a process of life , which everyone has to experience, we should be with a right attitude to see that.

    2008-08-27 02:13:00 補充:

    續 second

    Third, we should do what we ought to do. Each family has different problems, devoting efforts to make ourselves better in the future is very important.

    2008-08-27 02:14:31 補充:

    另 and so on (forth) 前面須否再加逗點,我須再查証。

    2008-08-27 02:41:13 補充:

    經上網查詢外文網站對 and so on (forth) 的用法,得一廣告詞如下:

    We are dealing specially with the surfboards ,kiteboards,wakesurfboards and so on.

    由上句可知 "and so on (forth)前面是不加逗點的。

  • 1 decade ago

    反射

    在小說中,我學習3 件事情。 首先,一個偉大的家庭根據在每個人之間的巨大的情感。 等等,無可至辯,通常,妒忌,憤怒,天氣將可能在福祉家庭。 其次,是重要事情怎樣面對死。 在世界上的沒有人能永遠住。 這是每個人必須經歷的一個過程。 我們需要有一個正確的態度看事情。 第三,我們應該做我們應該做的。 每個家庭有不同的故事。 努力使我們自己更好將來非常重要。

  • 1 decade ago

    Reflection

    From the novel, I learn three things. First, a great family is based on the strongly emotional connection among the members. Generally, without arguments, jealousy, anger, and so forth, we are likely to have a happy family. Second, it is an important thing that we learn how to face death. After all, no one in the world can live forever. This is a process that everyone has to go through. We need to have(to have可刪) a right attitude toward death. Last, we are obligated to do what we need to do. Every family has different stories. Making efforts to make ourselves become better in the future is very important.(您寫的最後第三點文法上無大錯, 但無法讓人確切了解您想要表達的意思, 建議最好再加強一下)

    2008-08-27 02:56:25 補充:

    最後一段, 你可以試著寫成:

    Last, we are obliged to fulfill our parts. Each family has its own story but strive to become better is always important for a positive future.

    2008-08-27 03:40:47 補充:

    Sorry, 打錯字了, 應該是Last, we are obligated to fulfill our parts. Each family has its own story but strive to become better is always important for a positive future.

    Source(s): Myself, Myself, Myself
  • 1 decade ago

    Reflection(The reflections)

    Among*(Through) *(a)the novel, I (have learned)learn three things. Firstly*(First), (Basically, a great family members are living together wihtout arguments, jealuousy and anger. It will be a happy family.)a great family is on the basis of great emotions between everyone. Generally, without arguments, jealousy, anger, and so forth, it will possible be a happy family. Second, it is *(the) an important thing *(is)that how to face death. *(No one can not alive foreve and ever in the world)No one in the world can live forever. This is a process *(for)which everyone (to learn and realize)has to experience. We need (to have拿掉) a right attitude to *(deal with)see the thing. Third, we should do what we *(need to immediately.)should do. *(Each)Every family has*(have they) different stories. *(To make ourself to be better in the future because of our efforts)To make efforts to make ourselves be better in the future is very important(event).

    ( ) 是要加進去的

    *( )最好替換掉

    整理如下:

    Through a novel, I have learned three things. First thing that basically a great family members are living together wihtout arguments, jealuousy and anger. It will be a happy family. Second the an important thing is how to face death. People have to learn and realize that no one can not alive foreve and ever in the world. And we need a right attitude to deal with the things. Third, we should do what we need to do immediately. Each family have they different stories. So to make ourself to be better in the future because of our efforts is very important event.

    改的不是很好  提供參考

    基本上是這樣

    希望你滿意

    你也可以再整理過 okay?

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  • Elisa
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Jack's correction is not bad.

    Just want to point out something:

    a great family is on the basis of great emotions between everyone.

    This does not make sense to me from grammar or logic standpoint. Lucky, what are you trying to state?

    2008-08-27 01:20:47 補充:

    I would suggest rewritting it as follows:

    First, a happy family is built on mutual trust and tolerance. Generally speaking, without arguments, jealousy, anger, and so forth, we are likely to stay happy as a family.

  • Ahoo
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    其實你已經不需要更改您的大作, 雖非完美, 已是佳作. 至少比樓上那些英文高高高手強的多了.

    首先, 你以切入重點, 其次, 時態用得相當好; 國人寫英作的毛病就是亂用完成式.

    最後一句結尾欠有力, 因為你用的是文法句,不是英文句, 這方面我很難明清楚, 不過以你的英文程度, 應該能體會.

  • JACK
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Reflection

    Among the novel, I learn three things. (可為:From the novel, I’ve learned three things.)Firstly(用「First」就好了,因為是為了搭配後頭的「Second」。), a great family is on the basis of great emotions between everyone. Generally(應為:Generally speaking), without arguments, jealousy, anger, and so forth, it will possible be a happy family(可為:we’re likely to have a happy family).

    Second, it is an important thing that how to face death.(應為:Second, it is important for us to face death.-「that」後面應當接完整的名詞子句,而不可直接接「how to...」的不定詞片語。) No one in the world can live forever. This is a process which everyone has to experience.(前頭兩句,大可寫成- It is what everyone must experience because no one can live forever.) We need to have a right attitude to see the thing.

    Third(可改成「Last」,比較讓人更清楚了解到,這就要是文章的結尾了。), we should do what we should do. Every family has different stories. To make efforts to make ourselves be better in the future is very important.(最後這句,讓人不容易了解文法結構。個人改成:It would be important for us to try our best to have a bright future.)

    個人見解,僅供參考,謝謝!

    Source(s): JACK
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