A question about setting my wedding date?

I want to set my wedding date to honor my fiance Dad. His Dad and Mom were married April 18th, well his Mom got remarried, would it be wrong to use the date or not? I don't want to hurt any body's feelings, but I want to do something to remember his Dad.


His birthdate is April 14th, it doesn't fall on a saturday next year.

Update 2:

His Dad passed away.

13 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    That's a tough one..Since your fiance's mother is remarried I personally wouldn't ( That's just me though ) Maybe on your fiance's father's birthday?

    That is really sweet of you to want to honor his father. =)

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    It's really difficult to say. That would depend on a number of different factors. You could set a date with zero wedding budget in the bank, if your wedding is say 12-24 months away. Also, that depends on what type of venue you pick. If you're renting a VFW hall, that might cost you $500 for the whole thing. But, if you go more formal, a hotel dining room or ballroom might cost you $500 for just the deposit. You are going to approach paying for those two events, much differently. In some cases, you might be able to pay a little here and there, out of your normal bank account/checking/savings and not have to have a specific, separate bank account devoted to wedding expenses. But, that depends on your income and such. I'd say, it's a good idea to have about 1/4 of your wedding budget set aside OR easily attainable. Most venues and vendors ask for about 1/4 of the total cost, as a initial deposit. The second payment is usually due anywhere between 6 months- 6 days before the wedding. Some vendors (like the photographer) will ask for the remaining balance AFTER the wedding and before they hand over any products/pictures, etc. I would divide my wedding budget like this. The first payments should be about 1/4 of your budget, this is devoted to deposits for the venue, photographer, videographer, florist, limo, etc. The 2nd payment (1/2 of the remaining balances), should be available during the middle of planning (if your engagment is 1 year, then 6 months). Then the last and remaining balances should be available within a month before the wedding. Any Example: Say your wedding costs $15,000 and you have a 1 year engagement. I would have about $3750 saved up before talking to any vendors. After paying vendors for the initial deposit/payment. That will leave you with a remaining balance of $11,250. Exact 1/2 of the remaining balance budget would be about $5,625 and that would be 6 months prior to you wedding. Last, you would have a remaining budget of $5,625 that you should have within the last 2-6 weeks to the wedding.

  • Jess
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Since his mother is remarried I probably wouldn't choose that date as it might be a bit awkward for the family. I guess your fiance could ask her about it?

    There are a lot of other ways to honor him at the wedding. Your fiance would probably be able to come up with a good idea based on what his father was like and his relationship with him. You could write a message to honor him on your wedding programs, have a reading or a candle dedicated to him at the ceremony, play his favourite song during the reception, or have his favourite colour incorporated into the wedding colours.

    I went to a wedding where the flowers were all tulips as they were the mother of the bride's (who had passed away a couple of years ago) favourite flower. The bride thought about it for a long time as she really wanted to honor her mother but not do anything too over the top that it would take away from the wedding and make it seem like another funeral. Her fiance wanted to display pictures of her mother at the entrance to the ceremony but she wasn't too keen on that idea. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that these decisions are best left to your fiance. I'm not sure how recent things are but that date might be upsetting for him. However, you can certainly you can make suggestions or ask how he would feel about certain things and then leave the decision up to him.

  • 1 decade ago

    So your fiance's dad passed away, his mom became a widow, and later remarried, right? There was no divorce involved? In that case, I think it would be a wonderful idea to have the wedding on that day. I don't think you are going to hurt anyone's feelings, but you might talk it over with your fiance's mom beforehand. That will make it an even more emotional day for her.

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  • 1 decade ago

    His birthday may be more appropriate than his wedding day but think carefully before you decide to book this.

    If your fiances dad has passed on then your wedding anniversary will also be a painful reminder of that loss every year.

    Cant you get something else to honour him such as using his favourite flowers in your bouquet or your fiance wearing his watch or something that belonged to him so that you feel he is with you both on your wedding day.

    My dad has passed on too and I am getting married in June, I have my brother in law giving me away but I know my dad is around me, he was very fond of little robins that used to visit him in his garden, and since my dad has been gone I have seen so many robins wherever I go and I know its him saying he is still with me and is looking out for me.

    I have got a tiny robin pin badge and will be wearing it on my wedding dress so I still have my dad walking down the aisle with me.

    There are so many other ways to honour your fiances dad why not decide between you the best way to do this.

    good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    Does your fiance feel the same way though? I don't agree with using the wedding date though--considering his mom's feelings.

    Why not use the day he died--as that's a similar look at the same question you're asking us.

    A better thought maybe to use your fiance's beady--or his dad's beady or perhaps even a special day that your fiance or his mom knew was important to his dad.

    Source(s): opinion
  • I don't see why you couldn't do that. It sounds sweet and special. If it's something you both really want to do go for it. Maybe you can talk to his mom about it and see what she thinks get her input. If she doesn't like it then maybe you could do the 19th and not the 18th that way you are close to the day.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Its your wedding.

    Set the date you want to.

    In weddings, someone will get pissed off about something or the other.

    Your dress...the cake...etc etc.

    If you think about what others will think, elope.

    I also don't think anyone will know the reason as to why you set that date unless you tell them.

    Maybe you parents might feel sad? Just talk it over with the people that mean the most to you....

  • Lys
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I think I would ask his mother if she approves of this date. If she says it would make her uncomfortable for her son to be married on her ex-marriages anniversary, consider a different date.

  • 1 decade ago

    no I think that would be sweet. I don't think it would hurt anyones feelings. Just make sure its on a day that you want too. It will be fine.

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