Has anyone else been given a slight complex about gaining weight in pregnancy?

Hello. I'm 14 almost 15 weeks pregnant. I was told by my mother, future mother-in-law, aunt, the midwife, it's in a handout the midwife gave me, and the ultrasound technician that I should not "eat for two" and I should just eat what I ate before (I've always had a healthy diet, mm vegetables) just SLIGHTLY more, like a cookie more. I was told, do not gain too much weight in your first trimester or in your second or you will gain too much weight and be unhealthy!

This has started to give me a complex. Just because of the sheer number of people that have told me this, and what they've said exactly.

My mother told me if I gain too much weight I will be forever fat. She said to ignore anyone who says I should gain much more than baby weight, and not to increase my diet at all. She also said she didn't show at all until her 6th month, and my future mo-in-law alluded to the same thing. So, the fact that my belly is already poking out a bit before I've hit 4 months must be the problem. ?? I thought everyone was different and my showing a bit already isn't that unusual.

And, this stupid handout said not to drink 2% milk and only drink skim and not much of it (I've drank 2% milk every day since I was a kid) or more than a glass of juice a day (I've drank a half gallon of OJ every couple days since I was 15). Then, OTHER people keep saying things to me about not gaining weight.

I am confused. I've always been thin, and I've only gained about 6 pounds so far. That's actually alittle less than normal, considering I had no morning sickness.

People are insighting me to slight paranoia about this. Making me wonder if I look fat or something, and wondering is that why they keep telling me not to gain weight?

I keep staring at myself in the mirror and asking myself what the heck they are seeing that makes them say something to me about my weight.

Now I look at food and wonder if I should eat it or not, have to talk myself out of down-talk, and feel uncomfortable about eating too much in front of certain people (my mother, future mo-in-law) or they'll say something (my mother HAS) to me. This is just STUPID.

Shouldn't folks be encouraging me to eat? I've always ate healthy, but I do forget to eat sometimes. I can't do that now, I get really dizzy and feel ill when I forget to eat. So shouldn't someone be reminding me when I'm around them, "you should eat!", not patronizing me and giving me unasked for advice about not "getting fat".

I am mad about this now. At first I was worried, but now I'm just getting angry.

What should I say to folks, "bite me!! I eat when I'm hungry!!"? Or should I just smile and thank them for the advice?

And why on earth do they keep telling me this? I KNOW I shouldn't do something crazy like double my caloric intake.

Well, I mean, I don't expect any of you to know what is going through their minds -- but maybe someone will have a better idea than me about why they'd all be mentioning this to me, and why the handout said not to drink much juice or milk.

I also know this all sounds bad, too. Like, I shouldn't worry about what others think and should just be healthy and ignore them. I am, but, I'm finding it hard when my mother scrutinizes me for eating a small bowl of sherbert and my future mo-in-law gives me dirty looks for eating a brownie after dinner. Arrr.

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  • 1 decade ago
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    WOW! I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of influence during what should be a happy time and you don't need the added stress.

    Yes, everybody is different and should not tell you what you should do based on how their pregnancy was - that's not fair. It is true that you don't really eat for 2. Doctors say that when you are pregnant - you only need to add an additional 300 calories to your daily intake - which isn't much. Total calorie intake should be at least 1800 once you've hit your second trimester. There's no need to go over that but you shouldn't be eaten under that total amount either. You should drink plenty of water too.

    They say that the average weight gain is 25-35 pounds but if you are underweight when you got pregnant - then you should gain 40 pounds or so.

    Bottom line, eat when you are hungry and eat what you want. Try to eat healthy but a brownie here or an ice cream there isn't going to kill you and you should enjoy yourself right now. It's the women that eat too much junk and do it everday that have weight problems during pregnancy. Just don't make a habit out of eating bad things but don't deny yourself completely either.

    And you may gain more weight than you expected but it doesn't mean you will be fat forever as you have been told! With my first pregnancy I gained 70 pounds!!! (because I ate horribly and I didn't exercise) but I lost all of it by the time my baby was 4 months old and I was back in a bikini! This pregnancy - I am 34 weeks along and have gained 37 pounds so far - this time I have eaten healthy, I drink lots of water and I work out everyday in the gym for at least an hour - but still I have gained 37 pounds - it's all belly though. You are going to gain what you are going to gain - so don't stress about it and enjoy being pregnant.

    When they make their comments just try to smile and say "thanks for the advice". If you can - try to avoid eating when you are around them so that they cannot make comments and wait to eat until they are not around. If you have to eat in front of them - try to make it something healthy - like fruit or veggies to avoid hearing comments and then if you feel like a treat or want to eat a real meal- wait until they are not around.

    You can work on getting your body back after the baby is born - right now you need to make sure that your baby gets the nourishment it needs.

    I personally know of a girl who was pregnant last year and she "starved" herself during the pregnancy because she didn't want to gain a lot of weight. She only gained 9 pounds total! and guess what happen? The baby didn't get enough nourishment to grow properly and her body went into early labor - she ended up having an emergency C-section because the baby's cord had not developed enough and was not long enough to make it through the birth canal and the baby was in distress- that baby would have had it's oxygen cut off while trying to be born and would have died! The baby was only 4 pounds when she was born and was put on feeding tubes! The baby is now a year old and is SO small for her age. The doctors say that this was all caused by her mother's lack of eating during pregnancy.

    Your body will tell you when it's hungry and you need to listen and give your baby what it needs.

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  • 1 decade ago

    these family members are nuts!! And so what if you gain some weight?? Your baby your body! You need to eat what you have been eating and try not to forget!! An extra brownie here and there is one of the bonus' of pregnancy!! Go ahead just dont go overboard and you will be fine!! I've had 4 pregnancies and gained 80 pounds with the first 2, about 30 with number 3 and only 5 with my last. You dont need extra food just healthy food and a few treats to say 'way to go mommy!'

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  • 1 decade ago

    If I'm not mistaken, some weight gain during pregnancy is normal. At the same time, you want to avoid overeating. Then again, that's always true. So the question becomes, "What's overeating in this particular case?" Well, really, overeating is eating more than you need. It would be a good idea to watch what you eat. But increased food intake is not the only thing that causes weight gain during pregnancy.

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  • 1 decade ago

    My goodness! Everyone who tells you that you shouldn't "eat for two" is right- some women think it means they can eat a whole pan of brownies ("well I am pregnant!") in reality you should eat about 300 calories more a day than you normally do and you should be on track- make sure you keep eating healthy and you will be fine. Eat when you are hungry, that is the best for you and the baby and I can tell you that I gained just shy of 30 pounds with my first and I was back to my pre-pregnancy size and weight within a month!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You should definitely ignore what they said.......My soon to be mother in law gained 80 pounds with her first pregnancy! My doctor also keeps telling me that i've gained too much and ive only gained about 30 pounds! i would recommend eating everything in sight but ive ate pretty healthy so i dont feel bad at all about gaining some weight. If you saw me it would be pretty obvious that ive mostly gained weight from water retention and my boobs went up almost 2 cup sizes :) Dont worry about what anyone else says. And ive had 2% milk everyday since ive been pregnant. your body needs the calcium. I dont know why anyone would tell you not to drink it. I can understand not drinking whole milk but 2%? that just seems stupid. Just continue to eat healthy but dont worry about gaining weight. Most of it will come off pretty fast after the babys born as long as you stay between the 25-35 pounds. Goodluck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Your right, we are all different and we gain different! Tell them to mind there own business! With my first pregnancy i lost 14 lbs and then gained 5 at the end, with this one i am 22 weeks and i hav e lready gained 12 lbs~ boy if you could have seen the look on my doctors face! It makes you feel very self concious and embarresed, and we shouldnt. I know a woman who gained 80 lbs during her first pregnancy! Dont sweat it, just eat healthy and we will be fine! GOD BLESS!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    awe I know how you feel... I am pregnant now with #2 so going through it all over again. My pre-baby weight is 105 & with my first son I got up to like 147 so thats 42 lbs a bit over reccommended weight gain but considering I was 5 lbs underweight for my height which is 5'4 then Id say I needed the extra lbs. I just ate what I wanted wether it be chocolate cake or sugar snap peas lol. I believe the baby wants what you crave and if you crave certain things then you may need some carbs or other etc.. just eat when your hungry & snack on fresh veggies sometimes. & take prenatal... which i sometimes forget to do lol. babys happy when your happy and if an Ice cream or brownie does the trick then go for it lol!! I do!

    Theres nothin wrong with cake,brownies potato chips etc..you crave them for a reason..

    I read that If you began pregnancy at a normal weight, you should gain 25–35 pounds over the nine months. Adding about 300 extra calories a day to your diet will help you reach this goal.Most women gain four to six pounds in the first trimester, and then average a pound a week in the second and third trimesters. I read this at this website & my ob told me this before.

    http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/159_153.asp

    this site tells you recommended weight for height

    http://www.healthcentral.com/diet-exercise/ideal-b...

    if you are overweight to begin with then should gain less...

    and underweight should gain more when prego..

    But honestly with this baby I was showing wayy sooner than with my 1st.. My mom thought I was going to have twins since i was showing as early as 7 wks... I feel really huge at only 5 months. All my weight went to butt,hips,and my belly is big & fixing to have my belly button pop out lol.. I weigh like 118 i think... will find out next appt. but my legs are pretty big!! and my back love handles eekks... scary but I know they go away..

    Its all worth it!!

    But I was showing at 2 months and have been in bigger clothes since& I had to wear my pants unzipped since... Now I am in maternity clothes for sure.. Dont worry, you will lose the most the lbs you gain right away when you have your baby your tummy goes down allot and in like 5 months you will be back to normal.... if not skinner I was back weraring my same clothes. Unless you just eat wayyy too much and arent all baby.. You want your belly to be firm and all baby... But ok I am rambling on! :) good luck with your pregnancy.Dont worry too much stressing isnt good for baby..... eat what you want when you want....

    Source(s): mommy to 2
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  • 1 decade ago

    Tell them to shove it. Docs say don't eat for two because some women think its their opportunity to sit around and eat an entire pizza to themselves and eat whatever they want. Its not. You do need more calories but you need to fulfill nutrition requirements with healthy food. Baby weight really isnt that easy to lose for everyone. Some people took that too literally and got more than just baby but fat during pregnancy because they thought it was a see- food diet. Also, gaining too much can cause gestational diabetes and stuff. Don't eat when you aren't hungry, eat nutritious food, and don't stuff yourself. Believe me if your baby needs something it takes it from your body so eat nutritiously but you don't need to overdo it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You should eat healthy but don't starve your self .....this is what I say F-ck them all its not there pregnancy and if you feel the urge to eat something eat it...your fine sweety! just don't bother with them they shouldn't be doing that to you.....people are all different people gain different and show different your not like them your pregnancy is your pregnancy just screw them all :) eat your brownies after dinner or have that ice cream its not going to hurt and if your body really didn't want it in there then you would throw it up! good luck! and best of wishes to you!

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  • 1 decade ago

    In our culture they say you should eat whatever you feel like when you are pregnant. Otherwise the baby keeps on drooling. So don't listen to anybody else. Eat whatever you feel like and later if you want to lose weight and get in shape there are ways and means to do that.

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