What are some of the lamest excuses you've heard for not attending church?

Some of my favorites include...

"Oh, but I don't feel good this morning." (Boo hoo...How do you think GOD feels about you neglecting to worship Him?)

"Oh, but I'm too tired. I worked a lot of overtime this week." (Once again, BOO HOO! How tired do you think Jesus got carrying his cross up to the top of Calvary? But he still took it up there and died on it, didn't he?)

"Oh, but I'm eight months pregnant and feel bloated and sick." (Uh, yeah, okay. Mary walked all the way to the Inn when she was pregnant with Jesus and never complained a lick. And then she gave birth to him in a manger. And YOU are skipping church because you're "pregnant and don't feel good." Whatever.)

There are my favorite excuses. What are yours?

23 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm going to keep an eye on this question. I'm sure our female members are going to rip you a new one for that last excuse you gave.

    As for me, if people don't want to go to church, they don't have to. It's really none of your business.

  • 1 decade ago

    I usually am respectful to others but a d i c k h e a d like you doesn't deserve respect.

    My favorite excuse is: "God isn't real, s h i t h e a d. You biblethumpers spout ignorance and stupidiy."

    "How do you think GOD feels about you neglecting to worship Him?, How tired do you think Jesus got carrying his cross up to the top of Calvary? But he still took it up there and died on it, didn't he? Uh, yeah, okay. Mary walked all the way to the Inn when she was pregnant with Jesus and never complained a lick. And then she gave birth to him in a manger. And YOU are skipping church because you're "pregnant and don't feel good." Whatever."

    uh huh. Get a life a s s h o l e. "Boo Hoo.?" Get a room crybaby.

    Go burn in a fire!

    Straight to FSTDT with you!

  • 1 decade ago

    No problem with worshiping. Problem listening to boring egotistical people who haven't a clue. Church means "nation" as the nation of Israel, all descendants of jacob. The church today are the descendants of Simon Peter. Unless you are the seed of Peter, you have nothing to do with the Church. God told his followers to preach the kingdom, not the church. That's why you find the word kingdom in the 4 gospels over 50 times and the word church maybe 2. Christians got off track from the book of Acts and farther and farther off track every since.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I'm SURE you've heard that last one more than once, by the way.

    My favorite is, "I'm not a Christian"

    Boo Hoo! Neither was Jesus!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I'm an atheist.

    (Oh come now: we all read R&S and if there's one thing we all know, it's that the Christian God, as interpreted by the loose-toothed, Bible-thumpin', yee-haw-type trailer pickins' don't brook no atheists. So gets yosef in dar 'n worship, sonny!)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i dunno....

    the one "i can't get in the church now that i am using a wheelchair." that makes me sad. i have worked and worshiped in churches that do not include those who have physical and other challenges.

    perhaps you could quit preaching and work on that little thing called inclusion.

    oh who am i kidding - i bet you will just keep preaching.

  • 1 decade ago

    Jesus was supposedly crucified. So do you have a problem with someone complaining that they don't want to be crucified?

  • Millie
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    I do not and will not go to church because organized religions are nothing more than pure business.......

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Most things there is utter nonsense or just blatant lies. That works for me every time.

  • 1 decade ago

    You wouldn't want someone's scrotum in your ear, would you?

    No?

    I also have no interest in listening to bollocks. Hence, I don't go to church.

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