1. Ducks can be quite nasty. So the least intimidating name is... Maple Leafs. Light, no substance, never hurt anybody. As opposed to the team, which often does hurt people. Doesn't win... Which may lead to them trying to hurt people... Yes, I know, Tie Domi is retired, but Darcy Tucker is still there.
2. Lightning. Lightning can kill you, and it isn't alive and therefore doesn't care who it hurts.
3. Best hockey name of all time was an old Ottawa Senator, Harry "Punch" Broadbent. Now, maybe it's because I just like the sound of the name, but Pavel Datsyuk. Worst, Sean Avery. Also worst in several other categories. Yes, I know, he's not a Ranger anymore, but that doesn't make him better!
4. The goalie who would be the best skater is Martin Brodeur. He's such a good passer that it's like having three defensemen. Chances are, the toughest skaters, the ones who can take the most, would at least be able to play the position of goalie, if not necessarily well. So who's the toughest player today? I don't mean "best fighter," I mean "toughest." He's getting old, but Darren McCarty comes to mind.
5. I'm a little biased here, because one of the women's soccer players went to the same high school I did: Heather O'Reilly. We don't have a hockey team, boys or girls, but considering hockey and soccer have some similarities, a good soccer player, particularly one with a sense of when and to whom to pass, would be a good hockey player.
6. Considering my team DID once play in Kansas City, and just built one of the top arenas in the country (I haven't been to even half, so I can't say "the top arena"), I'd be pretty pi$$ed. I wouldn't root for them. I'd pick another team. I don't know which one, but it sure wouldn't be the Rangers or the Flyers. And it probably wouldn't be the Islanders, since it's a pain in the neck to get to the Nassau Coliseum, blue and orange reminds me of the Mets who I hate, and besides, with a few exceptions (1993) the Isles have mostly stunk the last 20 years.
7. First goal for the Devils is likeliest to be Travis Zajac. Last will hopefully be in the clinching game of the Stanley Cup Finals, so it's probably a proven postseason performer, and we don't have too many left, at least offensively. So I'm thinking John Madden.
8. I'll take Woody Paige's advice and "Look at the sked-ja-wull." I see the Devils' 14th win, all with Brodeur in the next, coming Friday, November 21, against the Isles in Newark, in the team's 19th game. But 8 shutouts is a lot, and if he gets 8 this year it'll have to be counting Playoff wins. So I'm guessing next season, probably in December 2009. He'll be 37, which is not especially old for a hockey player, especially a goalie.
9. I wouldn't change them. I'd change the guy who's telling me I have to change from white to black-and-blue.
10. Was it Brian Rafalski? The Devils really, really missed him last season. I hope Detroit fans -- the real ones, who were there in 1992 before they got good again -- realize how lucky they are to have him.
11. I've tried to put Ottawa-related stuff out of my mind.
Bonus 1. Considering how annoying Sundin is, he'll probably be playing in Sweden until he's whatever age Chris Chelios is now.
Bonus 2. I've never been to Vancouver, but I've been to Toronto, and Vancouver can't be any more ridiculous than Toronto.