My b/f wants us to have sex, I'm not sure I'm ready, but I really love him, need advice, thanx?
Me and my b/f are both 15. Lately he's really been pushing for us to have sex, but I'm not really ready. I really love him and he treats me so good, I want him to be happy though.
My parents are really religious and have told me that sex should only be between married people. I'm not sure I 100% agree (although I'd never tell them that!!!) but I just think I want to wait a little bit longer. My b/f's parents have no problem with their kids having sex and my b/f even said his parents would get us birth control if he asked.
I really love him and he's always treated me like a queen. My family is kind of poor, plus I'm 1 of 7 children, so my parents were never able to take us on vacations or anything like that. My b/f's paretns are really rich however, and they've taken me on all their family vacations since we started dating. I've been to NY City, the Bahamas and other places that I'd never have a chance to see otherwise.
My b/f keeps saying things that seem very persuasive though such as that he loves me and he wants us to share the ultimate expression of our love, and also that if I really loved him, I would want him to feel good. He also says about how good he and his parents have been to me over the past year.
I just can't imagine being naked in front of him. I mean, I'm really skinny and I've worn 2 piece bathing suits in front of him, but the though of us being that intimate just scares me!!
But I know I'm old enough and I know a ton of kids at my school who are my age who are sexually active and I really love my b/f and want to continue having a great relationship with him.
Any advice on what I should do? Thank you all.
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Im dreadfully sorry to say this but your bf is a piece of work and a straight up ***wipe. If you do not want to have sex then dont have sex. Plain and simple. Not everyone is usually ready until they are 18+.
Firstly, your bf is using a guilt trip on you. Making you feel bad because his parents have been so good to you. Dont buy that bull****. That is also extremely low of him to even try and pull that crap on you. Like that is honestly an ***hole move.
Secondly, he says he wants you to feel the ultimate expression of love. Your only 15....damn. And the one comment, "if i really loved him, i would want him to feel good", is also a trap. How about this one, if he really loved you, he would wait for you. Try that on him to shut him up.
Thirdly, the one thing that disturbs me is that you are comparing yourself to other kids who are sexually active. Who cares if they want to give up their virginity at such a young age? You shouldnt want to give it up beacause they do. That is called bandwagoning. You do what YOU want to do. If you want to keep your clothes on then do it. If you want to climb mount everest then you do it. If you want to run around in circles in the middle of the night, then you do it. Dont follow others, be a leader instead.
Overall: YOUR BF IS A PUNK. And that you shouldnt let his stupid guilt trip ploy trick you into having sex with him. I hope you do see this eventually that he is trying to pull bs moves on you inorder to just have sex with you. It seems that is his goal and once that goal is reached thats it. I have seen this so many times. I know its hard to trust someone over the internet about these things. Your bf is trying to control what you do by making you feel guilty. Please do not give into it. From personal experience, when I was 15, I saw a girl who was a close friend crying one day at lunch. I asked her what was wrong and she said that her bf basically had sex with her (it was her first) and he used the SAME guilt trip moves and after that he just wanted it all the time. She said she didnt want too then dumped her. Now im not saying that he will dump you, just that hes only interested in whats inside your pants. Well, I hope you make the right decision.
- 4 years ago
If your b/f really loves you and isn't just playing you for that one lay, then he'll respect your wishes. Patience is a virtue. If he's patient enough, long enough he'll get what he wants, (if he's a player). If his salmon are just swimming upstream and they don't want to wait and the same holds for you, no amount of advice is going to stop the inevitable. If you go that route don't just take the bc's, get him to where a condom. A little extra protection will never hurt. If his parents are that liberal, ask them if they're willing to help with the expenses if an accident does occur and a little bambino shows up on their door step. Somebody will have to foot the bills. You need to be aware also that you both are under age and could be charged with statutory rape whether you consented or not. All it would take is for the word to get out to the wrong people or your parents to drop a dime on him because they got mad and want justice. On top of that, his parents could be criminally charged for giving you and him the green light. Once the state prosecuter, DCF or CPS gets wind of what happened then the games over and mommy and daddy don't get a voice in what happens next. A whole lot of young people do what you two want to do but very few can even begin to comprehend what will go down is anything goes wrong. I think your boy friend should very seriously respect your wishes if he really loves you.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You are obviously not ready, so don't do it. Having sex with your partner before you're ready but "because you love him" is the #1 way to generate regrets. Sex should be for you, when you want it and are ready for it. You should not need to be "persuaded" into sex.
"if I really loved him, I would want him to feel good. He also says about how good he and his parents have been to me over the past year." This is emotional blackmail, and you absolutely should not tolerate it. It is absolutely NOT OK. You're not his whore. Don't let him treat you like one. Certainly do us all a favour and don't call this insult "persuasive." Get away from this asswipe as quickly as possible, or be prepared to be seriously hurt.
- In hidingLv 41 decade ago
Wait until you know you are ready sweetie. Just because he treats you good doesn't mean he owes you anything. I was pressured to do it by my 16 year old bf when I was 14. Now I'm almost 18 and wish I waited. You need to know your ready not think. If intimacy scares you tell him! Tell him it will take time. I'm a senior and one of the girls I know has been with this guy since freshman year and they still haven't had sex yet because she isn't ready. I'm not saying wait until marriage. Wait until you know you won't regret it.
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- 1 decade ago
Well there is nothing wrong with waiting, if you really dont want to do it just yet then tell him, if he wont take no for an answer and you really dont want do do it just yet BUT you want to do it with him then make a date, lyk his birthday or something, that way it pacifies him and gives you time. but you will find it very difficult to sustain a relationship without any kind of intimacy. you could try oral sex, or other ways to get phisical. And unless ur actually going to wait till ur married, ur gonna have to do it at some point - and trust me luv, you could do alot worse. of course you will be nervous the first time but just remember not to do it under pressure and use protection. and try taking it slow. and trying other things before intercourse.
- VegasLv 61 decade ago
Tell him boldly your not ready and that you don't want to yet. Maybe some day but not now. If he objects then walk away. If the relationship ends well he wasn't a good guy he was a perv and probably lied to you =p
Remember at 15 guys will say anything to get it. You should wait a while.
- 1 decade ago
if u feel u r not ready yet, it means U R not ready yet...
i dun think anyone needs to wait for marriage to have sex but it's more whether you feel ready at this moment...
& i have had young friends who say yes at the heat of the moment or due to the pressure and most of them end up either not being with that guy or worse, some end up with herpes...yes, u can use a condom but it's never 100% safe....
i understand how pressurised u will feel since his family treat u so well but if he really loves u, he might be disappointed but he will still love you....but if he leaves u for that, u will know he is not the one u want to be with....being poorer doesn't mean u dun deserve respect....
- Anonymous1 decade ago
You should stick with oral for now. Milk him down every day and he should be satisfied with that.
Because of the things you discussed in your question, I think you should not have intercourse until you two are engaged. You should also find out how many children your b/f wants, and ask his parents how they feel about grandchildren.
When you start talking about all that money I begin to wonder how much of a prostitute are you?
btw sex is definitely not the ultimate expression of love.
- LútaLv 61 decade ago
" if I really loved him, I would want him to feel good. He also says about how good he and his parents have been to me over the past year. " If any of my boyfriends used that to try to get me to have sex with them, I'd slap him. If he loves you he shouldn't push. He should let you know that he would like to and then tell you he is willing to wait till you are ready. If you wait till you are ready then you won't regret it and blame him later. My boyfriend had told me that he wanted to have sex. I told him I wasn't ready and he respected that till I was ready. There was no pressure and that's how it should be if he really loves you.
- dreamweaverLv 71 decade ago
your not ready and that is the bottom line and him using all the stuff you have done together as leverage to get you to have sex is wrong. If you love someone you respect them and sex is not something to be taken lightly. You dont mention the value system your parents have taught you