What is the funniest quote you heard personally?

Straight from the persons mouth. Not 'oh my friend told me bla said this.' It could be from anyone; friends, family, celebrities ect. Or just a qoute that you heard, but taken out of context would make no sence or people would wonder what the heck YOU were talking about. The funniest quote for me would have to... show more Straight from the persons mouth. Not 'oh my friend told me bla said this.' It could be from anyone; friends, family, celebrities ect. Or just a qoute that you heard, but taken out of context would make no sence or people would wonder what the heck YOU were talking about.

The funniest quote for me would have to be when I was at a We The Kings concert and Travis was announcing the next song:
"Okay this next song is all about making love. It's called Secret Valentine. And it's about the color purple. When something pink, and something blue mix. You know?: sex, if you didn't catch my drift."
Update: No I ment heard in real life. It could be from anyone, but it has to have been heard directly. Not something your friend told you they heard, or you heard from tv.

Just a funny quote you've heard directly.
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