How long should I wait before 1st sex with new guy? (if I want long term relationship)?

I just wonder, now Im aboard and didnt realized that things are so different here.

I met this guys, we had few dates, first kiss goodnight on 1st date.

Things got hotter on 2nd and after but we met outside so nothing more than that. Actually, we discussed something before.

Before we met, we agreed to be just friends.

He just broke up like few months before and not looking for

any new gf now.

So I dont understand why he kissed me.

And I told him finally that I cant not give hime what he expect, more than kisses..

he wouldnt kiss someone so passionately without expecting it, right?

I mean if he's not intend to be my bf then I wouldnt spend a night with him.

That's my idea.

but as Im not inexperienced in this, I kinda think a lot about this..

must admit that I kinda want it too.

but dont wanna be just someone to have sex with,u know.

Is it normal that people here spend a night with guy/girl before you call yourself bf/gf?

Should I stand my ground, to wait and see?

Hmmm so confuse!


haha! oh sorry


Im 27- far from 14

dont worry - I wouldnt like to see teenagers do this also.

and I know what safe sex is.

Update 2:

well, I used to rush with other bf- so Im trying to make it slow this time.

just wanna hear what other people normally do, so that I might consider follow ( on how to wait patiently).

3 Answers

  • Joe F
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Homromones will make you kiss a stranger you are attracted to if the opportunity arises.

    Now as afr as "long term relationship" what does THAT mean?

    6 months, a yr., 5 yrs.?

    If sex makes a guy stay,then why are there so many welfare moms with no daddies for the kids?

    If sex makes a guy stay why do so many girls get used for sex and dumped?

    The FACT is this, ANYTIME you have sex outside of marriage hon, you RISK getting used for sex.

    Also sex makes babies AND ALL BIRTH CONTROL has a failure rate!

    You risk making a kid with a guy who may not be around after the deed is done.

    This is why it is imperative that you say no to sex UNTIL you are married.It takes a while to get to know someone , a yr or 2 with self honesty and your eyes and ears wide open with decisions based on fact and not feeling.When you throw sex into it, it clouds the thinking and makes things worse when you realize he is not the guy for you or he realizes you are not the one for him.

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  • 4 years ago

    It depends on the experience level of the girl. If it's her first time, I think it's appropriate to wait much longer- for as long as she needs to feel comfortable. People generally don't seem to need as long after they've had more experience. I would say that the minimum time a "girl" (rather than an adult) should wait is on the order of several months. You should trust the person you're with.

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  • 1 decade ago

    before we go any further how old are you? i ask this because if you are 14 or so, i would tell you not to have sex with him. not because i am a prude but because at that age there is nothing that will make him want to stay in a LTR.

    well in that case you have to feel him out. different guys have different rules. some will see you as easy if you sleep with them at any point! some will lose interest if you never do.

    with my first he and i dated for years. after 2 years i slept with him and he dumped me telling me that he only wanted to marry a virgin. with my fiance; i slept with him after we knew each other for two months. we were together for 2 and 1/2 years before he proposed. every guy is different.

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