my mother could be on Dr. Phil shes so bad

Her number one motive in life has always been about herself. So much that i was even adopted into another family at age 8 and before that she was into drugs, men or if i wasnt with her i was in foster care.Im 19 now and when i was growing up like age 14 to 17, my adoptive parents limited my visits and supervised my time with her. At the time i was angery thinking they were jelouse trying to stop a growing relationshop because she had quit her addictions and was going to get married and had a nice house. Well that was the start of me seeing what they really meant by keeping me away from my biological mother. She ended up breaking up with that guy, getting with other guys and never had time for me once i moved out and wanted that relationship we never got to have as i was growing up. Recently in the last year, shes been with this guy who has left her 3 times and they wanted to get married. Well the third time he left her, she had been at work and they had been fighting. He took part of her money and left her to a cold empty house. She told me she was drinking and was sorry for it because her promise to me was to not do addictions anymore. I forgave her and we both agreed this guy needed to just stay gone.

Well she took the guy back....and continued to drink. I distanced myself and recently shes wanted me to come to the wedding of the two of them. Not only has this guy bad mouthed me to my mother when he doesnt even know me, but he left my mother to drink! I hate this guy. And lately she has called me and tried to be nice again so id go to her wedding but ive said no. I do not support her marrying this guy. But now that shes being nice and even wanting to go to lunch with me to just talk i dont want to fall into her "lets be nice to my daughter so she sees me get married" trap. I do not support the marraige because i do not believe its real. She'd marry any guy!! Idk what to do. Im just sick of her acting this way, its always been about a man first and when i look back its really been just all about what she wants first in her life. Youd think a person would learn!!

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    oh wow.

    i've had my share of complications also.

    sometimes i feel that i have an unfair lot.

    this is a really bad situation to be in.

    it is exremely hard for a person to accept that someone cant be the person we need them to be.

    thankfully,you have other supports like your foster parents,friends and hopefully,other family members.

    you need to do what's best for you..because if she's looking out for herself,and your looking out for her...where does that leave you?

    believe it or not,you deserve what's in you're best interest!

    it's good to try and help..

    but not to the extent wher it comprimises you and your life!

    she can't take on the mother role,which is unfair..

    but don't get too involved with her so that you get hurt.

    if you wan't her to be a small part of your life..go for it!

    but don't let yourself be unhappy!

    if your mom simply won't see that this isn't real..

    you can go but still know yourself that it won't work out.

    she'll still be hurt,but it would probably mean a lot that you came,even though you disagreed..

    she can't be your mother in the ideal way.. but you might be able to salvage something.

    because of the fact that she's your mother.

    i'm sorry that this couldn't be easier on you.

    but try and be happy and don't let your life be poisoned.

    do what you can,but make sure you're happ with you're life.

    i'm sorry about this situation,

    she's let you down,

    and you have the choice of little or no communication..

    just don't let her hurt you,help as much as you want..

    but look out for yourself fist.

    best of wishes

    ~xoxo

    <3 feriell

    [add me if you like]

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't literally see your question but I do see your desire to have a wholesome family. I have the same foreboding as you are and even now that I'm almost 53 yrs old, I can still see and feel the pain seeing my mother lived through her years of trauma and moral dearth. My mother had survived being the eldest of 12 siblings from a very poor family in a war torn country. She had been left alone by my biological father (I was the eldest and I'm 5 yrs old with my other brother and sister at that time). My personal observation about my mother is that all those trials and difficulties gave her the character to be mean and to be tough in dealing with life. I have also observed that, given the same social trend, anybody can suffer much in terms of morality and social status. But I think that these mean and difficult-life factors makes humans with determination to be raised in a higher level of humane-ism.

  • 4 years ago

    I think it is horrible to use hot sauce as a punishment. What does it teach the child? I believe in natural consequences. The mom in question adopted the little boy from an orphanage in Russia. Of coarse the child is going to have issues! The child had gotten in trouble at school and was afraid to tell the mother about it. (Who can blame him?!) Harsh punishments are NOT going to teach this child good behavior. (Or any child for that matter.) This mom abused her son and had her daughter film the abuse and THEN went on the Dr. Phil show.. I think she wanted to get caught! Let's just hope she AND her children get the help they need.

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