Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

How can I stop feeling like a loser?

I tried to make a girl I really liked feel special by doing unique things for her, drawing her sweet pictures and writing her poetic letters which she and everyone else who saw them thought were cute. I tried so hard to make her feel really special, and I was trying to give her something to like about me (the only outstanding things about me are my creativity and vivid imagination, and that's what I tried to use that to express my feelings). She thought it was sweet, but she just likes the stereotypical cute, sports-type guys and simply doesn't have any feelings for me. I've accepted that, but that's not the problem. The problem is that I now feel like a loser for putting myself out there like that and I feel like a fool. Why did I do what I did? Now she has all these fragments of my heart on paper and I feel humiliated and exposed, and my friends make jokes about it all the time. I feel really bad! How can I get past this and how can I stop feeling like a damn fool for love?

46 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    just pretend it doesnt bother u. if people think u dont care anymore then they wont do it as the wont get a reaction out of u. im glad ur over this girl because she seems like a waste of time. goes after sporty cute guys? god how boring!

    next time u feel something for another girl, take my advice, and cool down a bit. dont draw picture or write poems. TELL her u like her and play hard to get. say hi occasionally and look at her then look away, but leave it at that, let her think about u all the time. a girl wants a man that gives her attention, but not to much too soon or she will be scared away. play it cool and she will come after you.

    im a girl, i know these things.

    remember you WILL get burned by ur lust or love for people, thats life. just dont let it upset you or get you down. u cant always control what happens but u can control how u react. keep it cool and u cant fail

    =] good luck xx

  • 4 years ago

    Well, first stop being one! And don't take that in a bad way. You don't have to be a loser. 1. 33 is not old, if u live the be 100 then you still have 77 years of your life left. That's a LONG time. 2. Yeah, you work 2 low-paying jobs, but while you are working those jobs think of something you would like to be doing. My dad is 54 and he's going back to school to be a mortician. Pick something you would enjoy doing and DO IT, no matter how old you are. Go back to school or a trade school or whatever and try it. 3. Yeah, you are a little old to still be living at home, but save up some money to get a low-income apartment. 4 and 5. Never had a girlfriend. Put yourself out there. And i'm sure once you get an apartment and a new job this will change too. All the other stuff you mentioned doesn't matter. You won't be a loser for the rest of your life if you do something about it! If you complain about your life and never do anything to change it then YES you will be a loser for the rest of your life. Take yourself and your life how it is and work wit what you got!:D good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Hmmmmmmmm. I guess this one of those situations where you know how you should feel and why but don't then? I know about that, trust me. Emotions can be veeeeeeeeeeeeery annoying things. I've been in situations that are definitely much different to yours but similar in the sense that you say things to yourself, knowing they're true but just can't seem to actually believe them. And you know what always causes them? GIRLS! They screw with our minds! lol! Seriously, when you like a girl your mind goes into overdrive and the parts controlling emotions and logic suddenly separate and start fighting with each other. You're not a loser, and what you did what was probably a lot better than anything those useless sports guys could ever do for a girl. And yet even if you say this to yourself you'll still probably look back and be all worried and confused and angry over doing it. Why? Cause it was for a girl you liked and it failed. Your logic says "it made sense" and your emotions say "you need her, you went for her, you don't have her, therefore it was bad", which is WRONG. So how to stop it? God I wish I knew, lol. Well I think the quicker you get over her the quicker you'll forget this whole situation. And accepting that you can't get her isn't getting over her btw, they are VERY different things. I suppose when jokes are made just laugh them off and don't react to them. People will get bored eventually and you'll just need to get over it yourself. Every time you feel bad about it perhaps you should just remember all the things that were said about it being sweet and all. If you can look back and think "I wanted her to like it and she did", maybe you'll start realising that it wasn't a bad idea after all. Has anything bad come about because of it? Does the girl think you're a weirdo? No, she thinks you're sweet. You just need to come to terms with the fact that there aren't any problems as a result of it (apart from some jokes and seriously? who doesn't get teased by their friends over little things every now and then?) and because of that there's no reason not to forget it and move on.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hi there,

    I will tell you now you are not a fool feelings are the most wonderful thing a human being can expose about themselves.

    The fool is this girl for knowing from the start that you were not her type and still leading you on to the point you felt vulnerable and showed her your inner post being.

    I assume your friends are really harmless guys who are just enjoying the moment.

    Try reminding them about silly stuff they have done and watch the rest laugh and forget about what happened to you.

    I will tell you in life nothing is for sure and you will probably lay your heart on the line again, and you may find yourself in the same situation but also if you do not lay your heart out you may also miss out on the greatest love of your life.

    I have humiliated myself too many times to mention but the loser is always the one that lost out on you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    First of all your not a fool, you had deep feelings for that girl and you acted on it. Let your friends joke and laugh with them and say, I'm sure you have done the same thing at one time or another, if not, that means you never loved, at least i know how to love and i'm proud of it. Don't feel humiliated for something so special in ones life. One day that special person will act on your creativity and vivid imagination.That person will be lucky. Your not the fool you think you are. Keep being the loving person you are.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    don't worry you are not alone. i regret what i've said and done often as well. i know i hate that feeling too. i can't stop swearing when i remember embarrassing things i've done for love. this happens to everyone and we all have to get on with it. only time will cure, so you've got to be patient mate.

    i'm also artistic type. i'm a musician. maybe a bit different but basically the same, right? i have made a bloody fool of myself with kind of lyrics i wrote in the past and tunes i came up with and my own music put me down a lot. but at the end the it is one of the best things that you have the ability to express feelings through forms of art. it's a beautiful thing. cheer up.

  • dee
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    I admire you for having shown your love to this loser girl. Let me tell you, I don't think she is worth your love at all. As for your friends, just go along with the laugh that's how guys are. As long as you know that you did the right thing by showing what you really felt. Don't feel like a loser, losers are people who don't have nothing to give. I think you are one of those people who can give much more than what is superficial. Guys like you don't exist anymore. So be proud of yourself, and don't worry, the perfect girl will come for you to really appreciate you. Be patient, everything will be fine.

  • 1 decade ago

    Stop trying so hard. Sounds like you smothered this chick and probably freaked her out. She's probably disgusted at the thought of you...I know that sounds harsh, but it's probably true. Girls like a challenge man, not a worshiper. You can write letters and draw pictures occasionally if you want, but only after you've got her, not as a way to win her over.

  • 1 decade ago

    why should you feel like a loser when all you did was simply what other guys wouldnt be able to do even if they wanted too, although you might think this girl is shallow the truth is, deep in her heart she appreciates the courage and that really heartfelt gesture, i dont think that is something you should be ashamed of, its a casanova move, deep inside even though your friends tease you they admire that love you once felt but now gone, its just that things happen sometimes, and that sometimes you need to be rejected that is a process men have to go through even brad pitt has been rejected you know.

  • 1 decade ago

    dude don't feel bad, i mean i guess she ain't the right girl for you. gotta handle rejection so to speak.

    i write poems and draw for my girl too. she finds it nice. i guess it depends on the girl if she's gonna reciprocate the love.

    dont feel bad ok? its not yet the end of world. you've just learned something about love ok? it may be a tough lesson learned but you're gonna come out a stronger person.

    spend some time alone if that helps. or you could surely go out with your close friends to take your mind off of things

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