i don't know what to do?
it's been 3 years since me and my first girlfriend are together(however on and off) and i was thinking atleast by this time i should be over her past and everything. but i'm not. i can't stand it when it's ANY small thing related to her ex. i can't tolerate that she's not a virgin. whenever i hear/see anything relevant to this topic something inside me goes KA-BOOM.. i've learnt to keep it inside me, but it kills me silently..i still have these brisk moments where i hate her from deep inside me n i wish i'd never known her at all. now i feel like it's too late to do anything and i must either suffer or confess everything to her and let things get complicated. she does know when something is wrong with me coz i can't hide it too neatly yet i can't even tell her. i'm too afraid that i'll hurt her feelings. thinking about a break up makes me feel guilty that i'm the person who ruined her future.. i'm not pitying her,i feel i should be the one who'll take care of her, but how can i if i'm not happy with her? if i'm not happy with what she is? and i don't want to change her either coz i don't want her to change something essential from her personality just for me.. and there are parts which both of us couldn't change even if we wanted to.
sometimes i just feel like killing myself and letting everything end with me..
i don't know what to do anymore.
please help me.
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
You sound like you're in a lot of pain; I sorry you're having such a rough time.
I don't know you, I don't know the situation. What I do know is it's really eating you up and one day you'll not be able to hold it in any longer. So, what will you do? Forget the "hive mind", we can't give an answer to make things all nice and sweet again, because life isn't nice and sweet. We all have rough patches.
I would suggest you seek counseling for several reasons. First, it will help you to talk to someone you know isn't going to call your girlfriend and say, "Guess what your boyfriend said about you?". Second, just saying what you're feeling is such a release in itself. Third, counselors are trained to be objective and also offer advice; and help you put things in perspective. Fourth, while I'm no psychiatrist, the way your question was worded makes me suspect that you may be clinically depressed.
Let's talk about depression. Everyone has bad days, but clinical depression goes on and on. It can cause physical symptoms, low energy, irritability, anger, feelings of hopeless, suicidal thoughts, etc. It changes the world to gray and makes difficult situations like you describe so much worse, because a depressed person is unable to see the forest for the trees.
Depression isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, it offers opportunities for personal growth, sometimes it's HELL, sometimes it is what it is. The important thing for you to know is you're not alone.
So, to wind this up, you may need to talk to somebody, and that's a good place to start. You may need medication. You may need both. But the important thing I want you to remember is what you're feeling now is temporary. With treatment, you will feel better.
For more information, go to the website of the Depression and Bipolar Alliance @ www.http://www.ndmda.org/ It lists symptoms of depression and bipolar disorder and has a confidential online screening tool. If you need immediate help or if you are having thoughts of death or suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK or if you need immediate assistance call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room.
At the risk of sounding too religious, may God hold you tight through this difficult time. I wish the best for you. Sincerely, ckm
- region50Lv 61 decade ago
Sounds to me like you need to growup some. What difference does it make if she is not a virgin its not like she is spoiled or anything. If she doesn't make you happy then you will end up making both of you miserable so the best thing you can do is leave her and let her find someone who will make her happy and not look at her as if she is dirty or something.
- kleveneLv 44 years ago
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