i want to have sex, but he wants to wait.. what do i do?

so i've been like with this guy for about 4 years now, and we've recently started doing like sexual things together, nothing to serious but yea. and well i feel that I'm ready to finally have sex, i've felt this way for a good while now, and i would prefer to do this with him. i wouldn't feel this way with any other person cuz I'm really really in love with him.

but he cant, he says he wants to, but that its not right. cuz we're not married.

and i feel that if two ppl love each other enough, and have been committed to each other for a long time then its okay to do.

and like we just had a big fight and like he got mad at me for saying that i wanted to have sex. :(

i don't know what to do. or how to come to a compromise.

we're both in our twenties and obviously still virgins.

so help what should i do about this whole thing? :(


in response to bella, no its not that he doesnt want me. its that he's Christian. and feels very strongly about it.

Update 2:

21 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you love him, truly love him wait for him.

    If you wanted to wait to have sex, wouldn't you have wanted him to wait for you?

  • 1 decade ago

    You can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. You just have to wait. If you're frustrated then you can take care of that on your own; if it's a matter of showing affection and being close, there are other ways. In some situations there is no solution, you just have to put up with it. You will regret it so much if you go elsewhere for sex, it won't be worth it. If you've found someone who loves you, and you love a lot, it's worth holding on to... if you threw away four years because of sexual frustration you really would be kicking yourself later.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Get married. Hey if something goes wrong get a divorce. Or cry in front of him, but try to tell him you weren't but make it clear you were. Works every time..... Sorry that sounds bitchy. Well it works. Or just wait. If you love him so much then you wouldn't care. Masturbate. He is a rare guy- someone who makes the GIRL want to have sex rather then him pushing HER into it. I'd say he's a keeper, honestly.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    if he wants to stay a virgin then let him. dont pressure him into having sex with you. the only compromise would be to get married!! lol then u can have sex all you want.. you're both in your twenties and been together for four years... ever thought about it? well u guys can still do sexual things but he's not gonna budge so dont try to trick him into it he's a good boy woohoo!!

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    If you love someone that much you should respect their decision and drop all the sex talk. He doesn't feel ready. Just let it be. He probably feels pressured and he might think you just want him for sex.

  • 1 decade ago

    "and i feel that if two ppl love each other enough, and have been committed to each other for a long time then its okay to do."

    and thats how he feels about marriage. if you love each other enough then you should get married then have sex. possibly if you get engaged he will compromise.

  • 1 decade ago

    You could try the old "I really need you to fulfill my needs if you expect me to fulfill yours" approach.. or something of that sort. But if all else fails, start stripping, very few guys can resist a naked girl who wants to have sex.

  • 1 decade ago

    wow i see your boyfriends name is johny too. && my boyfriend feels the same way, he feels rly strong about no sex before marriage && recently hes decided tht we needed to stop messing around, because its wrong which i respect but idkk if it comes down to it && were together 4 yrs lk you && your boyfriend ill be in your same spot.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    are you ******* serious? well that's very wrong im sorry but it is...i dont want to hurt your feelings but is it possible he's waiteing for someone else..? or is he very religious?

    omg...after 4 yrs? he wont give it up to you and im surprised its coming frm a female? rather than a male?

    idk...i would be really suspicious about that?

    maybe his thingy is small and he's scared you will laugh or it could be something!!! just make sure!!!! and dont keep beging him for it...i hate it that "us" girls have to beg for it sometimes!! wtf? they should know what to do...

    so dont even bug him over that fact tease him!! ...wear sexy things....say oops i droped my bag and wear a tiny skirt so he can see your underwear u'll see how he will change..lol

  • 1 decade ago

    if u really luv him u have to compromise. find out what his problem is. maybe he wants it but is shy.try massaging and hugging. the rest will follow. seduce him it may work

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.