Isn't it my wife's Christian duty to forgive me for having a few affairs on her?

I am not a Christian, but my wife is, and she simply will not get over the fact that I have had a couple of affairs on her. I have reminded her time and again that she is to follow the example of Jesus, and forgive me completely, that if she doesn't, according to her own beliefs, she herself will not be forgiven. In particular, I think she is terribly wrong to withhold sex from me, as this is part of her biblically mandated duties as my wife, but she seems to want to twist scripture to suit her own needs. I tell her over and over again that her failure in her own Christian testimony is discrediting her, and, as it is, any truly forgiving person would let it go by this point; my last affair on her was over three months ago! Talk about being unforgiving!

Why does she bother calling herself a Christian when she is so unreasonably unforgiving? I think she needs to examine her ideas about her faith; if Jesus were real, he would be SO ashamed of her!


It is ironic that I, as an unbeliever, have been cast in the role of trying to make her be a true Christian.

Update 2:

Lol @ Rene. ;)

Update 3:

LOL, Eagle! ((((((((mum)))))))

Yes, I am misbehaving this evening. ;)

Update 4:

Sandra B: It is so funny to see women post answers as to how they wish things actually might happen when there are such situations....they never do happen that way though, and you and I both know I'm right, lol. :)

27 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    Tell her Jesus said get over it and to go make you a pot pie.

  • Yvonne
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    The psycho evangelicals aside, about the same time they said divorce was evil they also said, something about unconditional love. The concept is simple the application is something else. If you have an obsession with someone about something then an affair is serious, but then if some one is that obsessive you are getting into the realm of the psycho evangelicals. You need to understand that the -marriage vows- of today were made to control people. If you go back over 1000 years and have marriages as they had for the previous 5000 years divorce would never happen.

  • 1 decade ago

    If this actually is a true story, then your wife should always give you a chance to repent, but she does not have to suffer abuse by the hand of someone as selfish as you. If your intention is to abuse her and tell her that she can't complain, then you are terribly wrong. You are clearly unrepentant, and forgiveness only comes to the humble. Maybe her leaving you might be a wake up call. But if not, then good for you for leaving a heartbroken, abused woman behind while you do whatever you want, believing there is no consequence.

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm not a Christian either, but I do have morals. If your question is for real, then my answer is that you are an ill individual in need of help. Not only have you cheated on your wife more than once and expect her to "get over it", but you're psychologically bullying her so you can have your cake and eat it too. That's so terribly wrong IMO, and I hope she doesn't give in to you. Why did you bother getting married if you're just going to cheat on your wife? Doesn't one of the ten commandments say something about not committing adultery? Whether you're Christian or not, that alone could be her sticking point.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If only she were a more informed Christian, a little more aware of her rights/obligations and had more self respect, she would forgive you, and then she'd leave you.

    My in-law's marriage was exactly the same. He was a manipulative drunk and she was a misguided Christian (divorced 2years ago). Probably be in your best interest not to lecture her on being a poor Christian, maybe she'll stumble upon something that would lead her in the RIGHT direction.

  • 1 decade ago

    As you are reminding her, are you heeding the command of Christ on YOUR life to repent and be born again?

    Jesus Christ is not ashamed of your wife. She is His beloved.

    If you stay with a wife that you wipe your feet on and is a failure in your eyes, then that is something you are going to have to work out.

    Make no mistake about it, you have not be cast in the role of a Christian.

    You are however busy gathering fuel.

    Your wife's current situation is not a rare as you might love to think. It was for freedom that Christ has set her free. The permission to leave you has come straight from His mouth.

  • 1 decade ago

    Your wife isn't perfect, but she has been washed in the blood of Jesus. She was been made clean through her faith in Jesus Christ who paid for her sins on the cross.

    You sir, are a vile and wicked sinner who is going to suffer in hell for eternity if you do not repent of your sin. You are oppressing one of a woman of God, and in so doing you are oppressing Jesus Christ himself.

    You use her shortcomings as an excuse for your own sin, but you will not have any excuse when you stand before a Holy God! Your little stories about your wife being disobedient will not impress the Almighty as he reads off your list of vile selfish acts from which you never repented.

    You may be a troll, but you are still a sinner. Whatever sins you have committed will send you to hell if you do not repent and trust in Jesus as your Savior.

  • Annie
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Let me, as a Christian woman correct you : she has a Biblical grounds to walk away from you and not look back..... Your arrogance has no limits !! just thought I would throw that in there.... and forgiveness has NOTHING to do with putting up with people like you... I can forgive people most anything, but I will not have them in my life , if the person has not changed, to repeat the offense against me.... Your logic in all this is WAY OFF course..... go in peace..... God bless

  • macie
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    All in your favor right. brother she can divorce you for that. Read her bible. live as you should live weather you are a christian or not. You are not her judge. i would find it difficult to forgive you too. I would christian or not throw you out of the house. So be thankful she is still with you if you love her. Why don't you do her a favor and leave her? You certainly don't show love by haveing affairs.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hello. I'm guessing this isn't a real question. But if it is, she can forgive you, but she doesn't have to stay with you. She has the choice of getting a divorce since you were unfaithful. But if she decides to stay, yes, she should let it go after forgiving. I hope if you aren't kidding that you never know that kind of hurt.

  • 1 decade ago

    Christians not to marry non-Christians........

    2Cor 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

    1Cor 7:39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.

    If married to a non-Christian, it's up to them whether they want leave

    1Cor 7:12-13To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must no t divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

    1Cor 7:15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.

    There are no guarantees that such a marriage will work out. For even God got divorced.

    Jer 3:8 "I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries."

    The seriousness of the sin of adultery can be seen in several ways. Under the law of Moses the penalty was death by stoning. (Deuteronomy 22:21, John 8:4,5). Again, the only ground that God gave for divorcing one's mate was sexual immorality. He said, "Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery. And whosoever marry her that is divorced, committeth adultery" Matthew 5:32. But the seriousness of adultery is seen most clearly in the eternal punishment of those who commit the sin. An impenitent adulterer cannot go to heaven. Ephesians 5:5 says: " "No whoremonger, no unclean person hath an inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and of God." And in Colossians 3:6, we are told that because fornication, uncleanness, and inordinate affection, the wrath of God comes on the children of disobedience.

    We are living in an age where sin is portrayed as a mere illness of the body or mind; when sin is denied or laughed off, when sin is rationalized as merely doing one's own thing, or doing what comes naturally. But a belief in the Holy God and respect for the authority of his word demands that adultery be recognized and acknowledged for what it is . . . sin.

    No your wife doesn't have to forgive you, or have sex with you. In fact the Bible supports divorce, from a adulterer.

    Source(s): The Bible!!
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