how do you cheer up a person who doesn't wanna talk to you?
i have a friend and I've known her for 4 years and i got used with her attitudes and all..she's kinda moody, emotional and can be overacting at times, too. she worries about simple stuffs. I'm used to her being like that. But this time, she doesn't wanna talk to me about her problem. she doesn't even wanna talk to me at all! she actually avoids me (in my own point of view). i wanna cheer her up. I've tried giving her a hug for no reason, or smile at her for time to time, but it doesn't seem to lighten her burden. she wouldn't respond at all. i don't know if she's irritated with me or what. The only reason i thought of why she wouldn't talk to me is because.,.. i am not a good adviser :( , and she might feel like it'd be useless to talk to me. I'd like to tell her that i'm ready to listen to her ('coz that's the only thing i'm good at...but it'd help to lighten what she feels, wouldn't it?). i thought of sending her an email (what do you think?). what should i tell her? even quotes to cheer her up would be nice.. help me please.
thanks for everyone who answered, especially to Emishi and Bretagne... and for the others, i know how it feels when you wanna be alone and you need time for yourself. it happened to me millions of times, i swear..!.and hell yeah, it sucks when people keep on "chasing" you because of how you feel.. but it always helps to know that someone's ready to listen when you're ready to talk, right? that's what i want her to feel-- i'm ready to listen. [have i not mentioned? i didn't try asking her about her problem yet.'coz i know it could piss her off.. i just asked her if she's alright. she keeps on saying yes all the time but i know her, and something's really wrong.] besides, i have already mentioned that she's sensitive...and i know her-- she tends to put the blame on me ('coz she says i haven't even asked her about her problem, i wasn't there for her, etc..it happened a lot of times, and to be honest, i hate that. but i got used to it.)..that's all. just tried to explain further =/
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I have a similar friend like yours - the really moody and overly sensitive kind. Like you, I have gotten used to her behaviour and such. Except that this friend of mine confides in me a lot.
I know how you feel when she does not open up to you because that has happened to me before. Just don't be offended. Maybe she feels that she is not ready to tell you her problem yet. So she is acting this way.
How about asking if she needs help first? Sometimes, being the 2nd party, we need to take the initiative. Maybe seeing that you are her good friend, she has a certain expection of you to understand why she is acting this way. When you do not really get it, she, with her own personal problem and her relationship with you, gets a little fed up and that may explain why she is like ignoring you (in your POV).
Be more open to her and simple things like showing concern and asking if she is ok can help. If you would some quotes, they have lots of beautiful quotes at this website: http://www.quotegarden.com/ Also, it would be good if you can bring her to other friends who have a positive influence. Good luck! :)
- BretagneLv 61 decade ago
She's not avoiding because you're not a good adviser. She would just like some space. It's good of to be concerned about her, but don't try to swarm her with all this sympathy all at once. When she's ready to talk, she'll become more open and accepting of your help. You're being a good friend for caring about her, but sometimes people just need to be left alone for a period of time to think and let some of those emotions out on their own. So don't be offended by her avoidance towards you. Just be understanding that her sensitivity can sometimes get the worst of her, and when she does come around, you'll be there for her.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Maybe she needs her own space right now and is not ready to talk about what is wrong with her. There is nothing worse than wanting to be alone with your thoughts and having someone wanting to " cheer you up". I hate it. When she is ready to talk, she will. Leave her alone for now
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Why are you trying to be the Community Sunbeam when she has made it clear that she wants to be left alone? Quit trying to "cheer her up," and leave her alone. She'll let you know when she wants to be friendly again.