I want to learn about God. Here's the story: I lost my mom to leukemia when I was six. I remember going to

church before she died, but after we lost her we stopped going. Not too long after that we lost our dad too. My oldest brother Finn got custody of me after that and now we and my other brothers all live together. We haven't gone to church since my dad's funeral. I asked Finn one time why we didn't go... show more church before she died, but after we lost her we stopped going. Not too long after that we lost our dad too. My oldest brother Finn got custody of me after that and now we and my other brothers all live together. We haven't gone to church since my dad's funeral. I asked Finn one time why we didn't go anymore and he said that there's no such thing as god. He said if there was a god he wouldn't have taken both of our parents away from us. I know he's probably just sad and taking it out on god, but i don't want to do that. I know my mom believed in god and went to heaven and i want to make sure i can go there too to see her again. I asked Finn if i could go to church with one of my friends from school and he said no. he said he doesn't want me to have anything to do with church. I don't want to disobey him but i want to learn about god. I can't go to church cause we live in a small town and he would find out and be mad. How can I learn about God still? Can anyone help me please?
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