How long after divorce is best to start dating again?

I starting dating immediately after my divorce and my first boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I was devastated. I missed him more than my ex husband. I told myself I would wait to start dating again but now I have been asked out for a lunch date this weekend. Of course I said yes but now I'm terrified. Why am I so afraid of dating? I'm in my 40's. I was NEVER afraid of dating in my 20's. Could it be it is too soon after my divorce to date again? It was final Feb 2008.

13 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The key is to go have some fun with no real expectations. If you are looking for a replacement this early you will continue in this vicious cycle.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    The time frame isn't what matters, its how you feel. I have seen break ups where both people were devasted and lost without each other and wouldnt think of dating for a year after! And I have seen two people break up and already be over each other and jump right into a new relationship, comfortably. So its all up to you and your feelings. ALSO- answers like the one 'serene e' gave make me want to SCREAM! So, b/c there may be kids, people should live in misery and depression for the kids sake!?!?! you dont think they see/sense that?!?! Divorce is the best answer sometimes!

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Before you start jumping back into the frying pan , I think you need to put some closure to the boyfriend. You mentioned you miss him. Did you stop to think maybe you two might need some time apart to sort out what you want. I don't want to see you do something that you might regret latter down the road and have guilty feelings if you two get back together, happens all the time on Y/A. People writing in and saying I broke up with my ex and I fooled around and had sex with a person I met now we are back together and I feel so guilty and what do I do?

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    The advice I got during my therapy during and after my divorce was to allow one month of healing for every year of marriage. Casual dating can be comfortable but as far as getting serious, this guideline might help. It worked for me. Good luck

    • Login to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • jk1967
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    it too me a long time first u must get over the divorce then date it takes time but if u wanna sleep around and it makes u feel better good for ya

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    this is too soon after the divorce because you are vernerable I miss spell the word,but I hope you know what I mean,you are afraid of dating because of getting hurt,life is here take your time don't rush it,the right person will come your way.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    Whenever you get your head back on straight... I began dating even before the cheater was outa the house. I never wanted to end the marriage, (but no one can stay in betrayal).

    He fell madly in love. I didn't. It was painful to end it for me and for sure for him, but there was no reason to go on.

    Pssst. And I'm way older than you.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    It doesn't matter how long you wait don't let anyone tell you different there are no laws no religion no nothing that says when think for yourself and do it when you feel like it.

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    As soon as you are ready and feel comfortable being in the company of another man...

    Funny isn't it - I am in my 20's and thought it would actually be easier at your age (no offence). knowing what you want & so on.....

    • Login to reply the answers
  • 1 decade ago

    If you have kids under 18, wait until they're grown.

    They don't need any more drama.

    • Login to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.