What did I do? How could I do this? Why can't I remember? Please help!?

Friday night my guy and I went out for dinner and drinks. We always talked about having a 3rd woman fling and he saw and woman he was interested in and asked if I would get her for us. So I said yes went to say hello and end up having too much to drink to build the courage to ask this woman to sleep with me and my guy. things take a curve ball and a guy begins hitting on me. per my guy, i kiss the guy on his cheek and grab his private part. i swear i do not remember doing that. i do not remember getting home nor remember us arguing. i have only drunk like this once before with this guy and it was in the very beginning of the relationship and we have been dating for 16 months. he was very hurt & said that 40% of him doesn't want to be with me anymore. but he is also very sweet as he did not say anything unless Sunday evening. he said he was think about how to approach the situation and whether he wanted to continue to be with me.


He asked if I was happy with him. He wanted to know if there was something going on in my life that will cause me to behave this way. He also said that he cannot trust me right now but is willing to forgive me and hopefully time will heal his wounds. He has been so sweet to me and if the tables were turned I don't know if I could have treated him as he has done to me. I want to gain his trust. I love this man and we have talked of marriage. How could I do such a horrible thing to a great person. He is only my 4th partner and I am 29 and he is 41. How can I gain his trust. I told him I would stop drinking and I would do anything to gain his trust. Please help.

Update 2:

I do not remember how we left the resturant, how we paid the bill, how I got undressed in bed, none of this. I only remember running home because he left the restaurant without me. per my guy, the only reason he did it is because i wouldn't get in the car and i kept arguing with him that i did not kiss this guy. i don't even remember how the guy looks.

Update 3:

finally, he made love to me sunday evening before the talk. i feel horrible. what to do i do to fix it. he called this morning and gave me a kiss this morning. it seems like everything is still the same but it is still killing me inside.

5 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    What the hell is he getting angry at? He wanted a three-some, didn't he? Oh, but only if he was the one "doubling up"? Only if it was for his benefit? Selfish bastard!

    You were wrong to accept that he had the right to ask you to do that, since you had to drink so much just to get up the courage to do it, you were not comfortable with it.

    I think you deliberately picked this guy so that you could get out of this bad situation, knowing full well that it wasn't the kind of three-some that your boyfriend had in mind. I think that you knew it just wouldn't happen at all then.

    Perhaps it was revenge for him wanting another woman in his/your bed - "...he saw a woman HE was interested in...".

    Tell him straight up, if you are not enough on your own, you don't see any point in continuing this relationship. A really "sweet guy" wouldn't ask you to do this.

  • 1 decade ago

    Think about this one. He was willing to bring another women in your sex life and was ok with that however you had to much to drink and went the heterosexual way and now he is upset. Both scenerios are a big NO NO!!! You both need to stay out of bars and you both need to grow up. Two people go into a relationship to love one another not bring someone else into it. If my husband asked me to bring another person in our sex life he would wish he hadn't.

  • 1 decade ago

    Are you serious????? I see a major problem, he was ok with you picking out another chic for himself but not w/ u kissing a guy on the cheek??? LOL this is real comedy & to top it off it seems like you have been on your hands & knees apologizing!!! And you say you want to marry him??? WOW good luck w/that one!

  • 1 decade ago

    He is too old for you and wants to control you. He understands now that you will be attracted to other men closer to your own age. Kind of a "wake up" call for him. Just move on. This man is too old for you. He's from another generation.

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  • CamM
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Tell him what is good for the goose, is good for the gander! (other way around really, but that is how the saying goes!!).

    Why is it ok for him to want to play around with another woman, but not ok for you to play around with another guy? Two faced!!

    Move on.

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