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Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago


I suffer from depression and social anxiety, and I'm so unhappy. I moved away from Ireland (to Portugal) four years ago, when I was ten years old. I thought it would be fun, but I hadn't realised so many things about myself at this age. I hadn't realised that I was very shy, and I hadn't realised that I would be meeting new people who wouldn't be like the people I knew back at home. I was quite positive for the first year I was there, having one or two difficulties, but by the time I was 11, things began to get worse as I was kinda stalked by a girl in my class, she caused me much stress. I also struggled with realising that I had no friends and may not make any. Two more years went by, no friends, isolated, bullied, then Summer 07 came and I was molested for the second time (by the same man) for the whole summer until I broke down and told my parents. I then moved schools and was very hopeful, I tried to make friends, but I have developed social anxiety...


I sometimes become physically ill from anxiety and avoid situations that I'm anxious about, and I have all the dreadful symptoms. Don't tell me to go to a psychologist, because I've been to one, she didn't even realise I had social anxiety, and where I live there are no English speaking psychologists anyway. I went to Ireland for three weeks this Summer, to work in my aunt's store. I had an amazing time, being back in Ireland (which I have longed for ever since I left) was great. I go back during every holiday, but going back this time, I really saw an amazing difference. And my dad saw a difference, I was happy again, and wanted to go out, I still had the social anxiety, but I was feeling depressed anymore and I was outgoing and positive for once. I came back to Portugal a few days ago, and dad says I've just gone downhill. I haven't left the house since Wednesday, except for once when my parents forced me to, I'm depressed and anxious.. what can I do??? Help =[

Update 2:

Ireland makes me happy in a way that Portugal can't. I know you will all say it's in my mind, but you don't understand, it's the atmosphere; it's so green there, and I love the whether (I hate the heat) and the cows in the fields, and the sheep and the horses. And the culture, the way people speak, just everything about the environment, and people are so friendly compared to where I live in Portugal, people actually smile in Ireland! And strangers talk to you on the street and people are so friendly. I don't know, I don't know what to do.

Update 3:

We can't move back because of financial difficulty, although I believe that we have recieved a fair bit of money recently. But the rest of my family like it here and they don't know what to do about me, and dad says that we never know what could happen, we may end up moving back to Ireland, but my mum says that we definitely won't and I'm so confused, I don't know =[ I'm so depressed =[

Update 4:

Krista, I know you're trying to help, but I don't think you realise what Social Anxiety Disorder is. It's not something I can actually cure by myself, and it's not something like being shy, it's much much more difficult than that. I couldn't even force myself to sit beside someone, believe me, I've tried, but I begin to have a panic attack when I even think about it, and I would probably end up fainting or something if I actually did, also, I never mentioned anything about pills or drugs, I am morally against them.

4 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hi, im from Ireland myself and its not perfect, im sure you know that lol

    Your problems will always follow you, its your attitude that sets the bar for your life.....just like the people you love make you feel at home, wherever you are

    i know this is very "shrinkish" but concerning the bullying thing, i know people can be b*tches, but if you have a confidence and an air about you, nothing they say can hurt you.

    The good news is that that power comes from yourself so all you have to do is tap into it......and really just develop an "i dont give a sh*t what they think" attitude....

    Just try to "fake it till you make it", if you know what i mean

    Maybe you find it hard to make friends in big groups situations like school....youd probably find it easier if you tried to meet people in a smaller setting

    Do you have any passions or hobbies? Anything that interests you.......Everyone does if they think about it.....

    I know it must be hard because youre living in portugal, but try to join a club or something, anything to meet people youre own age and most importantly, who share your interests...

    Sure, you wont get along with everyone, but even with social anxiety, you are bound to meet at least one person you click with.

    Im 18 now and im not shy but i definitley was when i was a little younger

    Im starting college in September and i know no-body but im a firm believer in the expression that "you get back what you put into life"

    You have to make a conscious effort to meet new people and make connections...i know thats hard if you have something like social anxiety, but it would surprise you how far a smile and a "hello" goes...

    And by the way, i do feel sorry for your situation but imnot lying when i say you seem really intelligent, especially since youre only fourteen....

    The truth is you just have to bite the bullet and get out there.... im no doctor but i really believe the only hope of ever improving the anxiety is exposure....even if its only the same couple of new people, it can only get better the more you do it....and true, i dont fully 'get' the situation, but at the same time, what the alternative? Sometimes it hurts to heal yourself so maybe you just have to force yourself into situations like this,..

    Sure, you might not have heaps of friend, but most people dont....and if you can even manage to get one or two people who really understand you, youre flying!

    Good luck!

    Source(s): Message me if you want mor of my boring advise,i have too much free time lol
  • I am going to go along with Krista on this one.

    Its a decision to be brave.You just have to decide to" be" it.

    Follow some examples of brave people.Like your mom. I know its hard but try baby steps. Be brave about things at home.Try new things.Join a club with maybe some younger children in it.Small children are so brave because they haven't been criticized. Ask your parents to be more encouraging about the little things you are successful at.It will help them,too to be encouraging about each other. Try to act grateful to mom and dad and they will want to be closer to you and there in lies the family bond.You have to learn to be brave at home before you can conquer the world.As for Ireland...It is truly a blessed place. But sweetie until you can grow up and go "Home" to Ireland you have to make it where you are.God Bless YOU... and try harder!!

  • 1 decade ago

    if you wanna make friends... you will make friends... you have no disorder or anything.... yes it is mental but what is a little pill going to do... you would have to stay on that pill for the rest of your life to make you not so lonerish... if you want ot make friends go out... be interested in what they say... a pill isn't going to make you courageous.... just go up to someone and say... hey could you help me with somethhing.... and see how they react. and its easier to make friends online then in real life because people are fake too so be careful with that... join clubs .... things your interested in. make friends. sometimes people are rude because they don't know you. so go sit down and then if they are like "why are you sitting here" be like " well this is a seat and people sit.. so here i am." (well that is what i would do) just don't be afraid. and don't use your mental issue as an excuse... find out what makes it so hard for you to find friends and deal with it. and if you want a friend i am here

  • 1 decade ago

    if you were happy in ireland then maybe you should just move back there with your aunt

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