Am I right to feel offended or is this just my hormones going crazy?
I am pregnant and my boyfriend and I are moving back in with my Mom because the rent is going up in our apartment and we are currently having financial troubles. My Mom offered to let us stay with her for free but now wants to charge me and my boyfriend 15 dollars a week to stay at the house. It normally wouldn't bother me, but she doesn't pay rent or any utilities to live at her house (my Dad pays it all as part of their divorce agreement). She says it's to cover our share of the cable, internet, phone, groceries and laundry soap. We will use the internet, but she has internet with a lot of extras that we wouldn’t use and internet only costs us $20 a month – not $15 a week. I know that we won't watch the cable (we never had it at our place) and we won't use the phone because we have our own cell phones (that we pay for). As far as food and soap goes, last time we lived there we bought all of our own food and soap and were planning on doing the same this time.
What really bothers me about this is that she knows we can’t afford everything right now and yet she is still asking me for money. She makes more money at her job than my boyfriend and I do combined. It’s not that I’m lazy because I’m pregnant and I’m working two jobs right now, and my boyfriend works full time too. I know that $15 a week isn’t a lot of money, but she has never made me pay money to stay with her before, why is she starting now? Especially when she knows that my boyfriend and I will buy everything we need for ourselves and knows that we don’t have enough money to pay for all of our monthly expenses plus all the used things that we are trying to get together for the baby. I’m so stressed out about money and affording everything, and I’m exhausted from having to work such long hours. Anyway, I need an outside opinion on this… am I just being hormonal? Or should I feel as offended and hurt as I do?
Sorry if this is in the wrong section. I didn’t know where to post it.
jemmamomma- I know what it's like to live in the real world... I've been living on my own now for over three years without any help from her while putting myself through college. I know how much things cost!
- JennLv 41 decade agoFavorite Answer
I can understand why you would be upset. 60 dollars isn't alot in the big picture, but it might be if you really are very broke.
I would ask why you are being charged to live there when she knows the reason you had to move back home in the first place, not to mention you don't plan on using anything that she's thinking you will be using. maybe she just feels she needs to charge you something because you are staying there. I'd just ask her why.
If she still plans on charging you the 60 a month, i'd go over the budget, because I can't imagine if you have 2 jobs and the boyfriend having one, and you don't pay rent or utilities anymore, it really making that big of a dent. That's just me assuming though. :)
- 1 decade ago
Just a guess but the apartment was more than $15.00 a week or $60.00 a month right? You are maintaning the same income as when you lived in the apartment....so pay the $60.00 a month to your mom and save the rest of what you would have spent on the apartment. Your mom is providing all the utilities which would go up if your household tripled (ie you and your boyfriend moved in) I don't mean the internet but the electricity and water will go up when you have 3 people instead of one living in the house. I think you mom is justified and is being REALLY nice about it- I would charge much more. Try cutting back on your cell phone plan as well or cutting it out all together and see how much you can save!
- ZeldaLv 61 decade ago
You say you've done this before and she didn't charge you. Maybe she doesn't want you to make a habit of moving back in with her, and wishes to gently discourage it, especially since it's not just you now that you have a boyfriend and a baby on the way. Even if she gets the house paid for by your dad (wow, good deal for her!) maybe she doesn't necessarily want to have to make room for you and your boyfriend and your kid(s) at random intervals for the rest of her life.
My advice is to take the good deal and appreciate it. Nobody but your parents will ever give you a deal like that. If you can afford cell phones, you can surely afford $15 a week. And if you can't afford $15 a week, what's with the cell phones?
- Anonymous1 decade ago
ANY time there are extra people in my house, there is a cost of a sort. I'm thrilled when my kids come home from college, and I want them here as often as possible, but still they disrupt my routines, make noise, leave their stuff around, use a LOT more utilities (though you said your mom doesn't have to pay for that, most homeowners do), and sometimes make messes that I have to clean up. I don't mind that too much, because they always leave to go back to school, and then I miss them. But I think if they moved back in after having been gone for a couple of years, and brought a baby into my home on top of that, I too might want them to contribute a little bit to the household. $15 a week is not too much to ask. It's cheap.
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- Moo Moo MairLv 61 decade ago
I think you are not being very appreciative. You mom is letting you move in with your boyfriend AND possibly a new baby when the baby is born. That is a lot. $15 a week is nothing to pay. Have you considered that you will be taking showers and using utilities while you are there??? I think you are getting a deal with as much as she is asking. Maybe she is asking you to pay it so that you realize the true responsibility that you are facing with having a child...all I know is that you would have to pay a normal rent and all of the other perks that come with living on your own if your mom didn't allow you to move back in...and it would be a heck of a lot more than $60 a month.
EDIT: I agree with one answerer who mentioned that you pay for a cell phone...how the heck do you afford that???? We can't and my husband makes good money!
- 1 decade ago
You're hurt but your mom is right. Think about it from her point of view. Most moms wouldn't help their kids this much. $15 a week is nothing compared to what you were spending on everything before. Save your money while you can, pay off what you owe, get your own place as soon as possible. Stop stressing, make a plan and take the time to enjoy being being pregnant, too.
- nmoonglow88Lv 41 decade ago
to be honest - i think your mom is trying to teach you a lesson. You say your stressed about money and that your moving in with her bc your rent went up, and you agree that $15 is not a lot - so how were you planning to have the money to care for this baby? If you feel its that unfair tell her you will give her $5 a week for the internet, but will be buying your own food - although you will be using the electric, the water and other things so i kinda am going to side with your mom......Personally, if it was me i would insist on paying a portion of the utilites - whether you think/know your mom divorce settlement. I would also say part of this is your hormones.....
- Jake's MommyLv 71 decade ago
She has every right to ask you for money. Sorry, you have no room to complain. What if she wasn't nice enough to let you move in? then what? The day I turned 18, my parents started charging me $25 a week for rent...then when I was 20, they moved out of state and I had to get my own apartment which cost $800 a month....you should feel VERY lucky that $15 a week is all you have to pay!
- 5 years ago
You have the right to make choices for your own children, but not the children of others. I know people who make parenting choices I do not necessarily agree with, but I am not that childs mother and I have no business to tell them how to raise their children. I also make parenting choices others may not agree with, but again, those choices are mine and mine alone. Since this is an issue you care about, I think the only thing you can do is just ask if shes done research on the topic, and even that might be perceived as a bit nosy. Its your call, but to be honest I would keep quiet on the topic, especially because it can be so controversial.
- Phoebe FinchLv 51 decade ago
You are upset about being charged $60 a month for two people to have a rood over your head, food in your belly, and heat? What about the electric bill? What about hot water? What about trash removal? Get jobs!!! Support yourself. If you can't do that than just say thank you and cough up the money. Be happy she's not charging you more. If you don't like it move out. And furthermore, she shouldn't let your lazy boyfriend live there at all. He should go live with his mother if he can't take care of himself and his new baby.