Is my son addicted to porn?
Ok, I know that most teenagers are curious but for some reason I think it's become a problem for my son. I first caught him on the computer so I added parental controls on it. Then I caught him with x-rated dvds, don't know where he got them from, then he started watching on tv and ordering ppv movies. with that said, i had a long talk with him and i guess a month later he's still doing it. I since blocked the tv, and he recently got a computer in his room, mainly for school work and he loves music so he downloads. needless to say he was downloading hardcore porn. I blocked him from downloading but I unblocked it so he could get his music, but I just found out that he is downloading it again, and for some reason he is looking at animal sex and of course teen girls. do you think he has a problem. I don't know what to do.
Thanks guys for all the suggestions. I do want to add that he is constantly looking on animal sex so i don't know if it is because of popups. His dad bought him the computer and he always wants to give him the benefit of the doubt. Just to add there has been a significant decrease in his social activity, his grades are slipping,and he seems to have a bad attitude. I set time limits and locks on his computer but his dad is always allowing him to log on under his account, which by the way makes me angry and that is how he is continuing to access it. His father doesn't think he has a problem. I don't know if all of this contributes to his behavior change or his grades failing but it's concerning to me. He acts as if he is depressed and angry all the time, I took him to his pediatrician and talked to him about his mood swings and they think it's normal. although I didn't mention the porn part. In the end they told me it was up to me to seek counseling for him.
I also want to add that he is 14
- Anonymous1 decade agoBest Answer
An addiction to porn and masturbation are not one and the same as another poster seemed to imply. While it is true that most everyone masturbates, not everyone is addicted to porn.
It certainly sounds like your son is addicted to pornography. You do not have the ability to take his addiction away from him, but you do have the ability to limit the amount of contact he has with it. Start by taking the computer out of his room. Put it in the main living area and set the rule that NO ONE uses the computer unless someone else is in the room. If you leave him alone, make sure the computer is password protected and that he can not get on it without the password.
Since this is rather strict, you will need to be a accommodating as you can as far as him wanting to download his music and check his email and chat with friends. Try to let him on it as often as he wants, as long as someone is the room with him (parent).
This is how we do it at our house. I have two teenage boys and they are not allowed to be on the computer any time we are not in the room. I try to never have to say no and this works for us. Limiting his contact with his addiction will enable him to gain some control over his urges to "see it again". Right now, he is right in the throes of his addiction and it is controlling him. If you help him to have to contact with it for a good while (a month?) , then he might be able to gain back some control.
Unfortunately, the internet has brought pornography into so many homes and lives. It's up to the parents to take it back out!
It's unfortunate that you and his dad aren't on the same page with this issue. It would make a world of difference if you wre. Too bad Dad doesn't see what you see; maybe HE has the same addiction? Just a thought. If he does, that would explain why he turns a blind eye to his sons's problem.
Maybe he just doesn't see the same degree of 'side effects' you see. Talk to him and see if you can get through. Good luck!
- 1 decade ago
He should not have a computer in his room. There is NO reason why he cannot do his homework and download music in the LIVING ROOM.
That being said, it's natural for him to be curious about nudity/sex/porn. He may have been accidentally directed to the animal porn by clicking random links on porn websites. Let's face it, these sites aren't exactly worried about being child-friendly. This is why they have the "Yes, I'm 18" button. A 6 year old could click it - in fact, the porn industry is counting on it. The younger that they get kids (especially boys) hooked, the more money they make. Unfortunately for the child, this can, in some cases, seriously damage their ability to formulate healthy relationships with others in the future, and it can also lead to them requiring more and more obscene and violent imagery "get the rush".
Protect your child. This is your responsibility. Parental Controls are ridiculously easy to maneuver around - especially for the technologically advanced child. Keep the computer in plain sight, and monitor it's use yourself. Get comfortable and familiar with it. And, most importantly, open up a dialog with your son. Approach him in a non-judgmental way, and let him know that it is perfectly natural and healthy to be curious about sex. Stress, though, the dangers of Internet porn - that he might be exposed to images that encourage a disrespectful attitude about sex and/or degrade women or men. Also, that he could inadvertently be taken to sites showing illegal images - like child-pornography or snuff-films, for instance. If this happens, police could be involved, and it would come down on the adults in the home.
I'm not personally opposed to porn completely - I think there is a level that can be considered healthy, assuming that the person observing it already has a strong, healthy understanding of relationships and sex. But speaking as someone who is currently involved with a man who was exposed to porn quite young and has an addiction to internet porn - it does have repercussions. For his relationship, and his wallet.
- sarahschmalLv 41 decade ago
Um don't let him have the computer in his room and block everything, buy him cd's instead. Animal porn is disgusting and I would be more worried about that. Take him to speak with a counselor that deals with porn addictions.
- 1 decade ago
he definitely needs to see someone and that computer in his room....you should know better if he's had problems with porn, and as for downloading music...limewire and programs like that are illegal so he shouldnt be doing that anyway. when i was young, my parents got my brothers and i laptops but we could only use them in the living room where she could monitor what we did and she also blocked everything because of me brothers. and that animal sex is really worrying
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- Anonymous3 years ago
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- FannieLv 61 decade ago
Hi. First of all, are you saying you don't want him to masturbate at all??? Masturbation is very natural and it's good for both physical and mental health. Of course, porn is supposed to be for adults only but I think most guys watch porn way before they have the legal age of doing it. Now as for animal sex, that's kinda weird --but maybe it's just curiosity (I'm not saying I agree with it at all, I'm just saying he might not be the perv you're afraid he is). As for teen girls... well, he's a teen himself so it does sound pretty normal!
If he doesn't masturbate all the time and it doesn't affect his schoolwork and social life, I'd stay out of it.
I might just talk to him about the "animal sex" part.... ?
- Anonymous1 decade ago
you can install NetDog Porn Filter : http://www.netdogsoft.com on the computer, it blocks all porn quitely and automatically when your son's on the computer.
- treppabLv 41 decade ago
take the computer out of his room
make sure you have everything controlled that you can and make sure that the computer faces you or whoever else will be home and make sure he only goes on it when you are home if you have to password protect it then do that.
maybe have another talk, but i think it might be deeper than that...
- carlaLv 41 decade ago
yes he seems to be addicted just take away his computer if your worried or only allow him to use it in the same room as you
- NorineLv 44 years ago
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block adult sites on your internet. also check his phone. most teenagers have porn on their phones, check the videos and pictures and check the memory card if he has one. beleive me, i know a lot more than you think