What are your views on cheating wives vs. cheating husbands?
I found out recently that my wife was having an affair. I was devastated. I posted a question about it and a number of responses explained that she did it because she was lacking something in the relationship, that I must not have been doing something right. When a man cheats on his wife, however, people seem to react differently. He is often considered a pig, heartless, or just plain stupid. Since i found out about the affair, I have done some reading, and it looks as if 15-25% of all married women have "cheated" on their husbands at least once.
So what gives?
Cheating wife=must not have been taken care of by the husband
Cheating husband=disgusting pig.
How do you feel about this?
- MelLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
I feel like a wife or husband is equally a pig when they cheat.
Having said that, though, I do understand how society can look at the two differently. Women tend to need emotional connections while men tend to want the physical connection. Cheating usually tends to be a physical thing - so it seems more likely that a man would be tempted more than a woman would. So when a woman is tempted, people usually assume that the woman is tempted for emotional reasons rather than physical. And if something can emotionally tempt her, then she must not be having her needs met emotionally at home.
I feel like it's all a pile of bull though. Women should be held accountable for their cheating actions just like men should be.
- QLv 71 decade ago
There are plenty of people with both types of opinions
(i.e. cheating wife disgusting pig;
cheating husband=disgusting pig;
cheating wife=not being taken care of by the husband;
cheating husband=not being taken care of by the wife).
You'll find plenty of people who think they're both disgusting pigs for cheating, and plenty of others who think both must have been missing something in the marriage. You'll also find people who will regard a man cheating as not as bad as a woman cheating, and people who will regard a woman cheating as not as bad as a man cheating. It's classic blame-the-victim mentality, served up with a heap of double standard. For the people who use a double standard, you'll have to take it up with them--they're hypocrites. But in any case, obviously, people saying that the wife must have been missing something in the marriage hit a nerve with you, because the last thing you want in the world is for someone to blame YOU for your wife betraying you in this heinous way! In my opinion, regardless of what problems are going on in the marriage, cheating is not excused. You don't get a pass to cheat just because your husband doesn't make you feel loved or you resent your wife's career or whatever the excuse may be. And it automatically assumes that the cheater is a rational, reasonable, honorable person, too. Unfortunately, people don't divide up that way. Plenty of people cheat NOT because they're missing something in the marriage, but because they're missing something in THEMSELVES that no marriage can fix.
- Praire CroneLv 71 decade ago
I believe that men and women who cheat do so out of something that is missing in their lives and they are driven to find it at some point. An opportunity will present itself and they have such a hard time turning it down. Most of the time it has really nothing to do with their partner, it is mostly about them selves not someone else. But the partner pays dearly as do any children caught up in something like this. I have no idea how to remedy this situation. I suppose it just depends on the individual and the marriage partner. Sigh... it does cause so much pain... and misery. The cheating does but then the misery for the partner who doesn't cheat but desperately wants to because of what is missing for them. Those that simply choose not to cheat but then live miserably the rest of their lives... I see so much pain in them too.
- ~Lauren~Lv 51 decade ago
I agree with you completley, I noticed the answers on a question earlier where everyone was saying ,"oh you should try counseling or give her more attn" But if it was guy everyone says to leave his sorry a**! I think a cheater is a cheater and that Karma is a B****! These people will get what comes to them in the long run. I have not and never will cheat on my husband and I hope he never does it to me or that will be the end. Once I'm hurt like that I don't think that I could ever truly forgive him. I'm sorry about your wife, I know everyone has probably told you that you could do better but its true. You can do better. Find someone that loves and respects you.
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- yellesLv 41 decade ago
I am sorry to hear about the affair -marriage is a sacred bond between 2 people and when that bond breaks-all hell brakes loose! An affair is never justified. Its not ok and it ultimately boils down to a choice that was made by the person having the affair. Can i just go and murder, cheat, steal because my husband does not love me or give me attention or look after me properly??? No!!
- dadgonewildLv 41 decade ago
Talk about how "Women's Liberation" has changed the world.
Give them a rope and they want to be cowboys!
I don't know where you got your information, but my sources say that more like 47% of married woman have cheated on their husbands.
My take is that woman have long been trained that all men are dogs and will eventually cheat. In todays society where more woman are playing the dominant roll in relationships they have also adapted what they presume is the male disgusting reputation. So in conclusion to the women that want to wear the pants ........... "a pig is a pig!"
p.s. Statistics show that men are out numbered 9 to 1 by woman ......... So for every married man that cheats, there are 4 married woman out there do the same thing. WOW!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It is my opinion anyone who cheats is being:
(I have been cheated on by a boyfriend and he did it because he could AND also did so because he needed to fill his need for something he could not identify - my soon to be ex husband cheated because, being an abusive man, I was not emotionally open to having sex with a man who was emotionally abusive - women tend to not be able to make love without the emotional component being A-Okay...FACT).
1) uncommunicative regarding what is bothering them about the relationship...
4) issues with themselves, other than being insecure.
5) IF there are marital troubles, male and female may cheat to rebel....
I feel for you. It is NOT YOUR FAULT. SHE decided to cheat. SHE IS 100% CCULPABLE FOR HER ACTIONS REGARDLESS OF WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HER OR MARRIAGE.
Hope that clears it up some for you.
I truly hope this can be overcome, via counselling, and developing open communication.
It is very difficult to gain back trust once on has been betrayed by such an act - which is breaking a marriage vow.
God bless and hang in there. Again, it is not your fault for her huge, intentional mistake.
KSource(s): Been through it. Research and read material to gain knowledge about why someone would cheat.
- Belinda28Lv 51 decade ago
First, I would say that the percentage of male and female cheaters is the same, or even maybe higher for females.
The difference is that a female won't even tell her best friend about it and women are must sneakier.
Women who cheat on their husbands are nasty. Men who cheat on their wives are nasty. It is equal in my book.
I also believe that men and women cheat for the same reasons which is lack of something or boredom. Rarely is it about sex. It is about feeling good, attractive, wanted, like a man, like a woman, etc....
There are always the habitual cheaters that would do it to no one no matter how they were treated.
Her cheating does not mean you did something wrong. She had a choice. She could have talked to you, she could have waited for things to change, she didn't have to do this. She could have left. She did not have to cheat.
It was her choice. She f'd up, not you. It is not your fault and don't let anyone tell you it is.
- Momto2inFLLv 61 decade ago
Cheating is cheating is cheating is cheating…..
The reasons behind why is an excuse no matter how you spin it.
However, the double standard lies within all of us. A man is just obsessed with sex while women are seeking something emotional. Total bull and total double standard.
P.S. I’m sorry for what your wife did to you.Source(s): it's all the same