Cheating wives vs. chating husbands?

What are your views on cheating wives vs. cheating husbands?

I found out recently that my wife was having an affair. I posted a question about it and a number of responses explained that she did it because she was lacking something in the relationship, that I must not have been doing something right. When a man cheats on his wife, however, people seem to react differently. He is often considered a pig, heartless, or just plain stupid. Since i found out about the affair, I have done some reading, and it looks as if 15-25% of all married women have "cheated" on their husbands at least once. So what gives? Cheating wife=must not have been taken care of by the husband Cheating husband=disgusting pig. How do you feel about this?

Update:

Sorry i meant CHEATING

50 Answers

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  • Jas
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    There must be some truth to it.

    Cause I'm not the cheating type.. and I probably never will cheat, but I find myself lately thinking about it.

    Why? cause I'm not getting enough sex. Why is it that the men perform for months in a marriage then all of a sudden they think of themselves??? they just roll over, get it done in about 2 mins and they are through with you for the day???

    talk about INCONSIDERATE.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It is true and some polls say that women cheat more than men do, but I have some doubts about that. I have never cheated on my bf bc I just couldn't live with myself if i did that bc even with all the problems I could never hurt him like that. I have, however, skated on thin ice and come very close;it never went past flirting though.

    Now that doesn't mean i haven't ever thought about cheating on him with another man, but those thoughts usually come up when we are having probs in our relationship or when I don't feel like he is treating me with the respect that I deserve.Women usually cheat bc something is missing, not bc the other man is more attractive. Women are more apt to cheat when their spouse isn't fulfilling their emotional needs.Sex isn't enough, they need to be loved and hugged and adored.That is why some ppl see cheating by a woman as justified bc she was driven to it.

    Most men cheat bc they have met an attractive woman that is willing to have sex with them or bc they just want sex. Men are able to have sex without becoming emotionally attached so it seems like their motives are not very justified. Men also can have perfect marriages and still have a selfish reason to cheat.Which is probably why they become labeled.

    I am a woman and this is how I feel. I don't feel that your wife's actions were very responsible and now she has to know how it will feel to lose you which is one of the worst things ever.I know if i ever cheated on my bf and he found out and i lost him than i would be disgraced and heartbroken. She should have told you first, so you could have repaired something.Unless she did and you didn't change anything then you should have saw it coming.If she wasn't receiving the attention she deserved than it is totally reasonable to think that if some smooth talking, attractive man approached her than she'd probably take the bait.

    Karma will get her though.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Cheating by either the wife or husband is exactly the same, in my opinion. There is no good excuse. Cheating wives cheat because they aren't being taken care of? Well, that's just plain stupid. There's a thing called communication that married couples are supposed to have. If something is wrong, they are supposed to talk. If the wife thinks something is missing, she should talk to her husband about it. The same goes for the husband! People seem to think the man is irresponsible if he cheats, while the woman is a victim if she cheats. What the hell? There is something wrong with this mentality. A cheating woman is just as irresponsible as a cheating man.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I have seen the same answers on other web sites as well. I think that if either the man or the woman cheats there is something wrong in relationship. I dont think it's OK for her to cheat, or for him to cheat....but i look at it equally. Not like the man is a pig and the women must not be getting enough attention. I think there is something wrong in the relationship. This is coming from a women that has been cheated on by her husband....but i was always working and always gone. I'm not making excuses for what he did...but i knew why he did it...i didnt think he was dog, i didnt think highly of him either. But i think people should really know the whole situation before they judge the person who cheated....whether it be the man or the women. And i am really sorry to hear that you were cheated on. It is really something hard to get over, God bless.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    There is NEVER an excuse for cheating. Both are reasons why spouses may cheat - but these reasons don't have anything to do with the sex of a person. Women can be just as heartless and horrible as men and sometimes men lack something in the relationship.

    But still - never any excuse to cheat no matter the situation.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I feel like it varies from case to case. I think cheating in a marriage is certainly wrong, but there are times when it is understandable. Just because something is understandable does NOT mean that it's right. A woman who cheats in a perfectly good marriage is JUST as wrong as a man is.

    To share something with you about my life....

    My aunt and uncle have been married for almost 25 years, and I'm not sure how they have made it that long. My aunt gives him absolutley no affection. If he tries to embrace her or hold her hand, she pushes him away. I made the comment that if he were to have an extramarital affair, I couldn't really blame him, seeing how he gets nothing from the marriage. It is still wrong, but like I said, it's case by case.

    In most points, a man who cheats on his wife. A wife who is devoted, raises the kids, does everything wife is supposed to do (even in the bed room) and he STILL cheats, then yes HE is a PIG.... and if you gave your wife a good life, did the things you were supposed to do as a husband. (granted all relationships have there faults) - and if she cheated, then she is just as bad as any man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    both are right

    anyone who cheats is a disgusting pig who was probably lacking something in the relationship.

    a break down in a relationship is rarely only one person's fault. No, a spouse doesn't make their partner cheat, but could have perhaps been a bit more attentive. However, some people are not cut out for monogamy, or have a hard time being happy. I know that sounds silly, but I have a hard time handling life unless something chaotic is going on. I, however, do not cause the chaos myself. Some people do.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think it doesn't matter husband or wife. Cheating is wrong and completely destroys ones character. If one wants to cheat one should show ones self and spouse some respect and divorce before one acts. The marriage is obviously lost at that point and the other deserves better.

    As for women, society for some reason has always been more sympathetic towards them. However, a cheating wife disgusts me just as much as a cheating husband.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Personally , I think that a cheating husband IS a disgusting pig , but I think that a cheating wife is a whore. Yeah , maybe the wife isn't getting enough in the relationship , but there are other ways to solve that. For instance , the wife could try to talk to the husband about it or suggest couples' therapy.

    But that's just my opinion :]]

    Source(s): Me, I'm a couples' therapist :]
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  • 1 decade ago

    This is so tough because I could write two pages on my different feelings about this issue. So I will say, it is wrong to cheat, for any reason, no matter what sex you are. If you cheat it was solely your decision, and you are to blame. However, a spouse can share the blame, in a way. If we want to keep our lovers to ourselves we have to nurture that relationship. Love is not an emotion, it is hard work. People assume that when you love someone it is forever and that the person we love will always know that we love them. That is simply not true. Love is just a lot of work, and work worth doing. I think that men, in particular, think that the woman in his life will always KNOW he loves her even if he neglects her. Women can do this as well to the men. So, I think every situation is different. And to point the blame...you would have to know the intimate details.

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