Why don't black woman/white man relationships get as much hype as vice versa?

I ask becuase I have a friend who's mixed (white father, black mother) but people ALWAYS assume she has a black father and white mother. Not only that, but after she corrects them they always have this surprised look on their faces. She says it really irritates her.

Why do you think this is?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Probably because there are more white women with black men visible than the other way around.

    Also, for some reason, some people find it inconceivable that a white man would find a black woman attractive enough to marry and have children with. Which is of course simply ridiculous.

    I understand how your friend feels. For years no one believed my daughter was mine because while she had my features, she got her dads coloring....which was surprising to me since blond hair and blue eyes are recessive traits. Anyway, it was very irritating when people would say point blank I don't believe you're her mother! I felt like saying what do you want me to do, show you the episotomy scar?

    and the really rude and hurtful bit?

    I'd get people who would say that I was an "embarrassment" to my daughter because she looked white and I was black, (and she was only 2 y/o at the time) and they predicted that she got old enough, she would try to "pass for white" and cut me out of her life....just like in that old movie "Imitation of Life." HUMPH! Well that didn't happen. She's now 25 and a mother herself, and we're closer than ever...and she fully embraces both her white and black heritage just as I taught her to...and we both hate that stupid azz racist movie to this day.

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  • 1 decade ago

    because for years we have always seen the black man white woman couple and people still had a hard time dealing with that but then the opposite started to happen (it was already happening just not as much) and people really had a harder time dealing with that.. i think because you have so many people in society that think white men look down upon black men or women and couldn't fathom them dating a black woman.. like it is taboo or something when really its not and it has been going on right in front of our face but some people are just to blind to notice.. i also have a friend who has a white father and a black mother and they are still married and have been that way over 20 years!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    My friend told me her husband has no problem with their son dating a girl of any race, but if his daughters tried to date a black guy, he would be afraid that the guy was using her for money! Yes, he is obviously an ignorant, irrational piece of crap. I think the reason it is more frowned upon is because black men are hated more than any other race-gender combination in the world. Black women are more accepted by whites than black men. Another thing I've noticed that makes me sad is that the lighter the "black" skin, the more accepted the person; dark skin blacks are more hated than lighter skin blacks. And the lightest are often thought of as altogether different, I have even heard black people make fun of darker skinned black people. I wish people would just be decent and treat everyone with respect.

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  • People may not agree but I think it's several things:

    1. The beauty ideal has white women being the most desireable. In the minds of many, all black men want a white woman. You see it implied on this forum quite frequently. The question is always "why do so many black men date white women" and never "why do so many white women date black men" despite the fact that, of ncessity, the converse would also have to be true but to admit as much would be to somehow diminish the perceived higher desireability of whites.

    2. Black women have, historically, been the least likely to date outside of their race and I think the American psyche is slow to catch up to the reality. Where I live, I actually see far more black women dating outside of their race than the other way around. It could just be the area that I live and the areas that I frequent but that is what I see.

    3. Since black women are, typically, as far from white women as is physically possible comparatively, we are the furthest away from the beauty ideal so the idea of many is "why would you want a black woman when you could be with a white one?"

    I know a number of white men who prefer to date black women and they have told me that they are constantly put in the position of having to explain themselves. Black men who prefer white women and white women who prefer black men are far less likely to have to defend their preferences. I do think that black women with white men, at the end of the day, are a more accepted pairing than the other way around. Women have, historically, absorbed the culture/status of the men in their lives. When a black woman is with a white man, her value is raised. The assumption is that she must be something pretty special. When you see a white woman with a black man, her value is diminished and she must be white trash (so say those who care anyway).

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  • 1 decade ago

    This guy I know has the same problem because people joke how his mother is suppose to be white and father black and he just ignores them or corrects them. I think its wrong for people to guess like that.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Becuase aobout 95% of all kid thats are mixed wether it would be asian and white, latino and white Middle eastern and white always have white mothers and colored Fathers so its rare for it to be vice versa who knows why

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  • Because the white man has been having sex wth what ever race he wants for centuries

    American culture is very sexists, and it not about who the woman is dating , but rather who the man is dating that draws the most attention

    Like when and asian woman dates a white guy no big deal, but when a white woman dates an asian man people notice

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think they think its only the A.A. men that marry outside their race.

    My aunt married a Caucasian man so my cousins are always in that situation. Then people are shocked too lol.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I guess because it is not as prevelant as a black man dating a white woman.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    - Because black men/white women relationships are much more common

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