Cathy S asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

Strange therapist?

Please I need some advice. I've been going to a therapist who is basically not nice. When I've tried to stop going I'm always given a hard time. Now, I'm going to find a new therapist but I'm nervous. The last one would ask me definitions of unusual words and smirk if I couldn't come up with the right answer, mock me, and more I will not go into... I'd leave crying. I have average intelligence, I'm not a genius, what kind of pleasure would someone who is supposed to help you get from mocking a person? How do you check out a therapist to be sure they do not have a mean streak? When I go to the new person should I mention the last therapist had a mean streak or just say I needed a change. I'm really afraid to get help now and I have depression.

8 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    First, what you went through is unsconscionable and any professional who acts like that should be reported to the agency s/he works for or to the agency that licenses her/him. If s/he is an MSW/LCSW there is a licensing agency for social workers, etc. There may also be a state agency you can check out depending on where you are as most folks who are licensed have to be licensed through the state -- I know Illinois has a website for checking if people have been in trouble -- not just reported but verified to have done something inappropriate in the past. If you need that website for Illinois, email me. Other states probably have similar sites or you can call the state licensing boards and ask for a list of state licensed therapists to guarantee someone is at least state approved.

    Also, a great place online for finding counselors is which has therapists in the following locations: Arizona • California • Connecticut • Colorado • District of Columbia • Florida • Georgia • Illinois Indiana • Maryland • Michigan • Missouri • New York • North Carolina • Ohio • Oklahoma Pennsylvania • Texas • Washington

    They also have lots of information.....

    Also, remember you can always interview a therapist before starting to see them...and according to NAMI Connections some good guidelines to consider when choosing a therapist are:

     Get a referral or recommendation from others, such as a trusted doctor, friends, family, or clergy. Other possible sources include your insurance provider, a professional association, your company's employee assistance program, community hot lines, your school district or local social services agencies. Local mental health agencies and your township office can often provide you with resources and or assistance with reduced or sliding scale fees

     Consider whether you have preferences regarding gender, age, religion or other personal issues.

     Ask potential therapists about their education, training, licensure as well as years in practice. Licensing by the appropriate state agency assures you that the practitioner has undergone the proper training and education and is qualified to practice.

     Look for membership in professional organizations.

     Ask about certification and additional training they have received beyond their initial education.

     Find out office hours, fees and accepted insurance providers.

     Double-check credentials by contacting your state’s licensing boards.

     Discuss — on the phone before your first visit, if possible — their treatment approach and philosophy to make sure it agrees with your style and needs. Be specific in terms of setting goals and helping you reach them.

     Determine the main things you need help with and bring a list to the first appointment.

     Ask how involved they will be with your psychiatrist and work with him/her in your treatment program.

     Find out if they specialize. Therapists often specialize in certain disorders or age groups. Some, for instance, work only with adolescents. Others specialize in eating disorders or divorce issues.

     If after the first visit, or even several visits, you don't feel comfortable, talk about your concerns with the therapist.

    Secondly, once you have settled on a therapist, allow at least 4 to 6 sessions before making a final decision. If after that time, you feel unsure of your relationship, or do not feel at ease, you may want to consider someone else.

    In Summary; it is a good idea to interview more than one therapist or counselor on the phone or in person before making a final decision. Some will offer a free initial consultation if you request it. Finally before your appointment, compile a list questions in writing you would like to ask and bring them to the consultation.

    Hope some of this helps.

    Source(s): NAMI Connections Finding a Therapist Handout
  • 1 decade ago

    That's unfortunate! You need to stop seeing your current therapist. If you can't confront him/her in person, just send an email, leave a message...whatever works...telling him/her that you're not coming in any more. (Also make sure that they can't continue to bill you.) You might consider reporting this therapist to a psychiatric association or professional therapists organization. As for getting a recommendation, try, or alternatively, open up your yellow pages to "mental health resources," and see if there are any organizations in your area that help you with finding the right person for you. Remember that YOU are in control. Your therapist is there to help YOU, and if you are not getting what you need, you have every right to change, and to demand what is right for you.

  • kagmi
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    That is pretty disturbing. I've never heard of a therapist like that before. They're probably pretty rare, so hopefully you won't need to worry about checking in advance.

    I wouldn't hesitate to tell your new therapist about the last one. It's better that they know your reasons for leaving than be forced to guess about them. All in all, good job getting away from that freak! Don't worry; he is by no means what normal therapists are like. :)

    Good luck on your therapist search!

  • 1 decade ago

    Cathy happened to me too and I wrote this letter to make me feel better.

    Dr. ******:

    After our appointment a few months ago, I would have to be truly insane to let our professional relationship continue. I would have informed you of this on the day of our meeting, but it did not become clear to me until the final minutes of our meeting and God knows I was happy just to get the full fifteen minutes as it was, so I wasn't going to push it.

    I cannot see you nor hear your reaction, but it is clear to me that you are relieved. I know that you didn't know what to do with me, and I can fully understand that. However, there are some things that I cannot accept and find disturbing and unethical enough that they need to be brought to your attention - not for my good, but for the good of your other patients.

    First, let me say that I truly believe that you have good intentions. I think that you are a very kind person, and really want to help your patients. When you don't know what to do, however, you seem to do more harm than good.

    I cannot, for the life of me, see how any psychiatrist could listen to a patient who's saying `Gee, you know, if the same **** that I went through last year happens again, I think I might end up killing myself.' and respond with "That thought really scares me. Why don't you come back in three months?" - Three months would make the next appointment in December, but gee, didn't I just say I thought I might not make it that long?

    No, of course not, because I'm sure you'd much rather delegate that responsibility to a therapist, which you tried to set up in our last meeting. That way you wouldn't have to be the only one dealing with me, and I really got the feeling that you didn't think I had any sort of chemical imbalance anyway. (God knows if you had ever seen me off meds completely, you would flush that notion down the toilet in a heartbeat). However, I hope that you had that opinion.

    Because if you didn't, then the problem is much worse than I thought - I mean, there are new drugs - i.e. newly approved Remeron and the anticonvulsants Gabapentin and Lamotrigine, and to not suggest them, or refer me to someone who would, is blatantly disrespectful to me, as a patient, and clearly a breach of ethics.

    So let me offer some friendly advice. First, if you realize that you don't know what to do for some of your patients’ patient, don't keep stringing them along with this three-month ****. Get them to someone who can help them.

    Secondly, there's no need to be as conservative as you are in your treatment approach. I'm not saying that you should throw caution to the wind, but, for example, you refused to prescribe Lamotrigine for me, and I have the feeling you won't write a script for Remeron for many months. If you can't be confident with the new meds, then I suggest you put a sign on your door saying "Low Maintenance Patients ONLY", because that is the only way that your practice can be run given the way you're doing things.

    As of now, I have no psychiatrist. I don't have another one in mind to go see, I really don't have the time or money to shop around, and this is a really rough time of the year for me to be dealing with all this.

    I am providing you with my phone number, because should you decide to contact me, the numbers you have on file have changed. If the only reason you decide to call me is for some sort of formal closure, please don't bother, because we both know that the case closed six months ago.

    Again, despite my critique, I think you are a wonderfully nice person, but the way you run your practice leaves much to be desired. And if you need help building that sign, just give me a call.

    Au revoir et bon chance,


    PS: your family doctor can find an other Therapist,mine did!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I've said this before and I'll say it again just because these

    people have degrees does not guarantee they're normal!

    Please keep that in mind while you ask around say it's for

    an acquaintance if you don't want them to know it's for you;

    no one should have to put up w this do you realize you could

    sue this dr? Please continue to seek out the therapist that's

    a good fit for you. Also;you could inform ins. co. or dept of

    professional regulation/w complaint.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You should always do a consultation before you commit to a therapist.

    A very easy way to get rid of this abusive therapist you have (and he IS being abusive) is to write him an email saying you don't want to have any more sessions with him, and you thank him for his time.

    There is no reason to have therapy with someone who makes you uncomfortable.

  • 1 decade ago

    Cathy S, F... this AssWhole Therapist, & get away from him ASAFP, U DON'T need that, if you need further help or have questions email me @ OR call my Celley @ 248 763-7993..

    God Bless U Sister.... : )

    Source(s): PS: Canada & Justice, U think Ur responses could be any Longer...??
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I usually pray before i choose one. It usually works. I had my share of bad phys. docs. Only God know truly what you want.

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