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If Your A Military Spouse Answer This Question?

I only want answers from people (young and old) who are a military spouse?

How do you feel about being a military spouse and nothing about the benefits please:)

And What I mean by that question is like do you ever dislike like it at times cant stand some of the ppl on base or the place your at or does it bore you sometimes? you can even tell me the good things about it:)

15 Answers

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  • AJ
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Being a military spouse definitely has issues that you wouldn't encounter as a civilian wife...deployments, training, long work days....but it's all about what you make of it. And I hate living on post. A lot of the army wives are gossipy drama queens and I try to stay away from the as much as possible. One thing that I have learned is that you need to make it priority to have your own things. I see a lot of women who can only identify themselves as an 'army wife'. They have no job/hobbies/interests/etc. All they talk about, ever, is their spouse. This tends to cause a problem during deployments b/c all of a sudden, they are left to their own devices with nothing to do and nothing to associate with. Of course, this could just as easily be a civilian problem as well as a military one. Anyway, just go about life like you would as a civilian and try not to get ties up in the drama that can erupt.

  • 1 decade ago

    Personally, I love being a military spouse. I grew up as an AF brat, so this is really the only life I know. While I have some great friends who are civilian, those aren't the ones who were there to support me through deployments and long hours. They didn't get it. It was my AF sisters who were there, banding together, doing what we needed to do.

    Now, are there folks that just irk me no end?? Oh, yeah!! And they're on the outside as well. They're the ones that gripe about everything and anything. Nothing is ever good enough. And the neighborhood gossips.... they're irritating too!! I just don't have the time or the strength to deal with either kind.

    Bored? Never! There's always something going on and too much to do. But that's me... I tend to over-volunteer. Between my girls' schools and scouts, the squadron, and the tax center I keep myself pretty busy. Add in teaching to that equation, and I start wishing I were bored!!

    Places? We've only been at one that I've really disliked. The rest of the places I've live have been great. Some better than others, but I always try to find the best of where I'm at.

    Long hours... hate them!! I hate it when he's working 12-14 hour days. But, that's what he has to do sometimes and I deal with it. And I don't take it out on him... he's doing his job.

    Deployements? Hate them too!! But, sometimes he does just have to go away for a while for me to like him again! LOL

    Right now we are starting to make plans for retirement.... very tentative plans, but we're talking about it. And it terrifies me! Civilians scare me! And the thought of living somewhere for longer than 5 years scares me!

    Source(s): AF spouse - 20 years today!
  • 1 decade ago

    Being a military spouse is just like being any other kind of spouse in most ways. There are days that you love it and days that you hate it. Hopefully you have more days that fall into the former category than into the latter.

    There are some hardships that other people don't face like long periods of time alone and frequent moves around the country or the world. But those hardships also open the doors to opportunities that other people don't get like learning that you can change a leaking washer hose on your own or seeing the Grand Canyon one year and the Atlantic Ocean the next.

    I don't know about this cattiness other people are talking about. In 16 years I haven't seen any more or less of that in the military world than in the civilian one. And how you react to it will set the stage for how often you run into it. Just like how you face the hardships and benefits of military life sets the stage for how satisfied you are with the lifestyle.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am a Navy wife, and have been for the last 12 years. Most of the time, life is just like everyone else. There are some exceptions. Sometimes you are expected to do things that are a bit unrealistic and your husband can pay a price if you don't. Yes there are times when it gets to be a bit too much. There was one time, early on, I got a call from my husbands department head's wife at about 9:30 telling me I needed to bake something by the next night's bake sale. Since I was sick as a dog, and had already taken my NyQuil, I can't remember if expletives came out of my mouth, but I told her in a less than polite manner, she could not expect any baked goods from me. My husband had duty on the ship that night, and got an early wake-up call from his department head first thing in the morning. The poor guy, had no idea about the conversation but was getting yelled at by his boss while he was still in his bed! I thought it rude enough to be called after 9pm, and to give less than 24 hours to bring baked goods for a bake sale, no way. Give me a week, and I have no issue participating, but short notice forget it. Poor planning on your part, is never a crisis on my part.

    I've met some fantastic people and been able to see things I would not otherwise get so see had I not been married to a military man. I also have enjoyed participating in the base activites. I've been on the softball team, done fun runs, gone to the base gym, craft groups, golf, if you want something to do, you can usualy find something.

  • 1 decade ago

    For me, it was extremely difficult to adjust to being an Army wife; in the first year we were married, we lived in 3 different states (which is quite unusual). I was/am very independent, and being married to a soldier is quite an adjustment, as your livelihood (education, housing, employment opportunities etc) is contigent upon his job. Relinquishing control is also difficult: by this I mean if you are a control freak/like to have things planned out like I did, you can have a difficult time since with the military things can change at a moments notice and then change again! I was 28 when I married my husband, and acknowledging my lack of "leverage" I had as it applied to our life and future was definitely a sore spot for me.

    I always was from the mentality that I wasnt an "army wife", I just happened to be married to a guy in the army--unfortunately that was diluted thinking. In my marriage there are 3 of us: me, my husband, and the army, and more often then not, my needs come last.

    I think if you enter a military marriage with an open mind, it will be mutually beneficial. You should know when you get married what lifestyle you are entering, and what potential difficulties lie ahead. I always hated to complain to my husband when I was disappointed/angry/frustrated 1) because he had bigger fish to fry and 2) there is nothing he can do about duty station/housing you qualify for/deployments, etc...

    If you have an open mind, there are numerous opportunities available. Because other wives understand your lifestyle, making friends with other spouses can be your greatest asset. There are numerous clubs and support groups for spouses as well as social/service clubs, volunteer opportunities and free classes.

    The bottom line is the experience you have as a spouse it what you make of it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Being a military spouse really isn't all that different from being married to a civilian. The biggest difference is deployments, but if you are a spouse for long enough you learn how to handle it. It can get lonely when its reaching month 11 of a 15 month deployment, but you keep busy. There are some issues between neighbors on base, but I think civilians have issues with their neighbors also! My husband and I have had great opportunities to travel to and live in different countries.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have been a military spouse for 7 years. I love it and I hate it! I hate the deployments, the never knowing one day to the next, and the military comming first because it has to be that way.

    But I love the pride I carry. I am blessed to have such an admirable husband, doing a job only some can handle, and willing to risk his life for a fellow American. It shows his strength and confidence in his country. Our blood runs red, white, and blue. He is a true American and is doing his duty to his nation. I love people I live around, of course there are some wives who are rude, and say my husband is "this rank", what is yours. Well they are in it for all the wrong reasons then. Brush it off and walk on.

    Be proud and understanding. You will carry that pride the rest of your life.

  • 1 decade ago

    yeah i like it at times and then there are other times that i get totally annoyed with it...people in general do not understand that when he deploys its not the first day or so that is bad its all of it...and things happen along the way while he is gone that would make it nice for someone to see if you need something....does that make any sense? seems everything we own breaks while he is gone and the stress from that just beats me down. i dont go to the base much because i dont like the base...i know by name the people that work for him but we do not hang out with them on a social level..we dont even go to the mall on weekends because he runs into everyone he works with..his job already takes up so much of his time ..when he is home the last thing i want is for him to deal with his troops..its one thing if a problem arises..but he is at work at least 10 to 12 hours a day and then at home he takes phone calls at times for an hour or so dealing with one issue or another...that gets annoying...but on the other hand...we have lived in places others will never see because he did join..and that has been nice...and i dont like where we are now we have been here less than six months and instead of getting better it seems to slowly get worse and i have tried to find some nice things...im still working on it...he went in the year after we got married and has been active duty for the last 19 and a half years in the air force

  • emland
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Retired Navy Wife here. We married a week before he left for bootcamp. The seperations aren't easy, so if you are a clingy, needy person - being the spouse of an active duty serviceperson is not for you.

    I attended one Wive's Club meeting and it was enough for me to know that those kind of catty, bitchy women weren't for me. We have always lived off base, so we didn't have the base life drama to deal with. Just the normal, occaisonal weird neighbor problem. We live near the world's largest naval base, so nearly everyone else on the block was AD or related to someone who was.

    Good things? Cool stuff he brought me from overseas :-), photographs of the Roman Coliseum, sunrise at sea, etc. The rare visit to meet him overseas (you gotta do it at least once.) The anticipation of him coming back home and picking out the perfect outfit to meet him in (he never cared - I could have worn a burlap bag - but it was important to me.)

    He retired 2 years ago and besides our healthcare changing a bit, I haven't really noticed a different. He still deploys (travels for his company which is a federal contractor for a joint command) but usually never for more than 4 or 5 days and if it is close by, like in DC or FL, we tag along and see the sites while he does his work.

    My hubby went in when the only line of communication was letters. Calling was horrendously expensive and saved for big holidays and birthdays. Now with internet, web casting, sat phone and cell phones the separations aren't as tough as they used to be. During my hubby's last command he could tell the kids goodnight via IM. Not as good as him being home, but they at least got to talk to him.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am a military wife and my hubby is actually deployed right now! It sucks at times just like this because he is away from his daughter that is turning two! He missed her birth and now her second b-day he misses out on alot and that is hard. It is military first then family and that really hurts!!

    I do like it at times though really it is a love hate relationship!

    I am so proud of my hubby for everything he does for his family and we are surviving! we are happy and we have met amazing people! We were based at a shitty place but with amazing people and now we are PCSin to Alaska! it is an adventure for sure ... BUT

    honestly i have my days i love it and wanna renlist then i hate it and wanna get out! but the good over poweres the bad!

    Source(s): Military Wife !!
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