how do you trust?
so i just started dating this girl-it's been two months now, she's amazing, so sweet, so nice, sexy.. everything i ever wanted in a girl, but i'm damaged goods.. my last relationship a little less than a year ago screwed me up really bad and i went into a depression.. the girl cheated on me constantly, lied, and just was awful..took me for the worst ride of my life, and now that my new g.f. and i are getting really close i'm getting all these trust and jealousy issues back that i developed when dating the ex.. i really don't want to mess this up with my insecurities, i know there's nothing to worry about, but these feelings just don't seem to go away, can anyone help me how to not be this way, i don't want to be this way, i just feel like i can't help it, please help...
- trulyLv 61 decade agoFavorite Answer
From personal experience, I can tell you that the person whom you can't trust is yourself. Here's what I mean: you willingly stayed in your previous relationship when you had evidence that she cheated on you several times and lied. Instead of realizing that she was not a good match for you, you chose to stay and get taken for a ride resulting in you becoming "damaged goods". When you decided to stay after the first time she cheated or lied you chose to subject yourself to hurt. What made you stay with a liar and cheater? That is the question you should me most concerned about. You can't control other peoples behaviors but you can choose who you decide to be in a relationship with.
Trust your girl and be happy and free if she treats you well and is honest. Trust in yourself that you will no longer stick around when you have clear evidence that a girl is and unfaithful liar.
- The JUDGELv 41 decade ago
Look, if you can't delete the trust problem, then come up with a forgiveness protocol. This stuff happens, dude, the woman is as human as you are. Just be the best guy you can be and ask the same from her -- but do not see her as infallible. You may find yourself in the shoes of your last woman someday and then it won't seem so impossible to forgive. In the meantime, don't punish the innocent here.