Definite monkey in the middle with a forced ceremony to introduce the nut sucking monkey vs. man mayhem. Or at least that's how I would react to the situation. Firstly, destroy the ping pong balls. I'm sorry, but they must go. Secondly, your friend's vehicle is on fire. Put that sh*t out with a paddle and some pumpkin juice. Finally, I'm sorry, but your paraplegic pal, Paula, passed away while pooping on a piano before Pope Peter's ***** party.