Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

請幫我批改指考英文作文(20點)

以下是我練習的指考英文作文

請幫我

1.檢查有無文法拼字錯誤

2.改分數(滿分20分)

3.給我一些寫作上的建議

EX:有什麼地方可以再改進. 如何改進..........等等

總之,就是可以讓分數提高的方法

感謝您

Neighbors

Nowadays, people are more indifferent to others than we used to, especially to our neighbors. It seems to be average that one doesn’t know what his neighbors’ names are. Once, I invited one of my friends to my home. When she got lose in my neighborhood, she tried to ask some of my neighbors for help. To her surprise, none of them had ever heard of my name.

I think it is a pity that people know nothing about the people who live so close to them. Nevertheless, there are some actions can be taken to improve this situation. For example, hold some community activities that all of the neighbors can join together. Spend some time visiting to neighbors’ home to keep a good relationship with them. By these ways, we can form friendships with neighbors.

Update:

謝謝這位高手

不過我還有一些疑問

For example, holding some community activities that all of the neighbors can join together.

這一句改了之後就沒有動詞了耶...

that後面只是用來修飾actibities的子句,所以join不算這一句的動詞吧

如果按照原本的寫法,當它是祈使句,這樣不可以嗎??

然後分段的部份

原本是有分段

只是貼出來之後它就自動齊頭

扣掉題目之後,前四句是第一段,後五句是第二段

這樣分段可以嗎??

1 Answer

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Neighbors

    Nowadays, people are more indifferent to others than we used to, especially to our neighbors. It seems to be average that one doesn’t know what his neighbors’ names are. Once, I invited one of my friends to my home. When she got lost in my neighborhood, she tried to ask some of my neighbors for help. To her surprise, none of them knew my name.

    I think it is a pity that people know nothing about the people who live so close to them. Nevertheless, there are some actions that can be taken to improve this situation. For example, holding some community activities that all of the neighbors can join together. Spending some time visiting to neighbors’ home is a perfect way to keep a good relationship with them. By these ways, we can enhance friendships with neighbors.

    內容( 2.5分)、組織( 2.5 分)、文法與句構( 3 分)、字彙與拼字( 3 分)、體例( 3 分)

    總分14分 可能太高

    很快速的看完你的文章

    大致文法上的錯誤並不多

    但有些地方不應該錯

    大致上都看得懂

    拿中間分數並不難

    只是我覺得字數可以拉長

    論點可以更清晰

    雖然你是短文

    分段仍須明確

    加油喔!

    單字上的應用可以在有深度些

    2008-06-24 10:07:19 補充:

    For example, holding some community activities that all of the neighbors can join together.

    這一句改了之後就沒有動詞了耶...

    that後面只是用來修飾actibities的子句,所以join不算這一句的動詞吧

    如果按照原本的寫法,當它是祈使句,這樣不可以嗎??

    抱歉大大我錯了

    沒看清楚

    你寫的OK!!

    然後分段的部份

    原本是有分段

    只是貼出來之後它就自動齊頭

    扣掉題目之後,前四句是第一段,後五句是第二段

    這樣分段可以嗎?? OK阿

    只是如果ˋ真的很短

    別分段會比較好喔!

    分段只是會讓人覺得你在括開篇幅

    Source(s): ME中高級通過, ME
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