星樂 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

英文寫作不錯的人請指教!

以下是我寫的作文,如果你認為哪裡用法錯誤或是哪裏不通順,請幫我找出來,並且告訴我要如何改,謝謝囉~

Music

We can kill the time while listening to the music. Music can effect on our feelings and it still can help us to study. Music is important to many people. It has a good many of functions.

The music has different functions to everybody. As to musicians and composers, the music can express their ideas and feelings at that time. As to me, it can make my pressure disappear by listen to the music. So, whenever I am angry, I will turn the music loudly. This is because I can give vent to unhappy feeling in this way. And for other people, the music can have influence on people's moods. While seeing the films, feelings will be influenced by music and followed to rise and fall. In addition, the music can also help us to study. For example, when we are studying English, we can study English by singing the English song.

The music is omnipresent. It occupies the important position in our minds. We can’t live without music. It plays an important role in our daily lives. Now, let's wave with the music!

4 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Music

    We can kill time while listening to music. Music can affect our feelings ,and still can help us study. Music is important to many people. It includes a lot of functions.

    Music has different functions to everybody. As to musicians and composers, music can express their ideas and feelings at the same time. As to me, I can make my pressure disappear by listening to music. Therefore, whenever I am angry, I would turn to the full volume. This is because that I can give vent to unhappy feelings in this way. And for other people, music can have influences on people’s moods. While seeing the films, we would be influenced by music and follow to the rise and fall. In addition, music can also help us study. For example, when we are studying English, we can study it by singing English songs.

    Music is omnipresent. It occupies the important position in our minds. We can’t live without music. It plays an important role in our daily lives. Now, let’s swing with the music!

    沒有特定某首歌或某種音樂 就不用加the

    help 受詞 原型動詞 不是to V.

    So其實是連接詞

    有些老師可以接受它當副詞,有些老師不行

    所以最好還是避免拿來當副詞

    While seeing the films這句

    你用的是分詞構句

    主詞省略 前後主詞需相同

    所以後面不能用feelings 要用人

    因為feelings不會看影片 (笑)

    2008-06-19 02:46:37 補充:

    As to me, I can make my pressure disappear by listening to music.

    這句也是一樣

    如果是

    It can make my pressure disappear by listening to music

    就變成

    音樂可以藉著聽音樂來消除我的壓力

    所以我把主詞改成I

    wave是波

    改成 swing 搖擺

    意思比較貼切

    2008-06-19 02:53:13 補充:

    I will turn the music loudly

    意思變成

    我將大聲地轉開音樂

    不好意思

    這地方我改一下

    I will turn on the radio to the full volume.

    或是

    I will make the music loud.

    之前不小心打錯 抱歉

    turn to 求助於某人

    turn up 出現

    turn on才是打開 正確用法

    Source(s): 我, 我, 我
  • 1 decade ago

    音樂我們能消磨時間當傾聽音樂。音樂可能作用在我們的感覺並且它可能仍然幫助我們學習。音樂是重要對許多人。它有一好許多作用。音樂有不同的作用對大家。至於音樂家和作曲家, 音樂可能表現出他們的想法和感覺那時。至於我, 它可能做我的壓力消失傾聽音樂。如此, 每當我惱怒, 我大聲地將轉動音樂。這是因為我能給發洩怏怏不樂的感覺這樣。並且為人民, 音樂可能有對人的心情的影響。當看電影, 感覺將被音樂影響和將被跟隨上升和下落。另外, 音樂可能並且幫助我們學習。例如, 當我們學習英語, 我們能學習英語由唱英國歌曲。

    音樂無所不在。它充任重要職位在我們的頭腦。我們無法居住沒有音樂。它充當一個重要角色在我們的日常生活中。現在, 我們揮動以音樂!

    Source(s): 沒有要改的.沒有不通順
  • Ahoo
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Music

    We have a good time of listening to the music. Music effects us so much that helps us study in a rather nice mood. Music helps many people.

    Music presents different ways to all kinds of people. For musicians and composers, they express ideas and feelings at the same time. As to me, listening to misic relaxes me. When I get angry, I turn on the music loudly, then I will feel better. In the films, misic plays an important role and influences people deeply. In addition, we can study English by singing a song--- That is music!

    Music is so wonderful, music enrich our lives. Which music do you like best?

  • 1 decade ago

    第一個錯誤 :

    We can kill the time while listening to the music.

    應該是 -

    We can kill time while listening to music.

    第二個錯誤 :

    Music can effect on our feelings and it still can help us to study.

    應該是 -

    Music can effect us, and also help us study.

    第三個錯誤 :

    It has a good many of functions.

    應該是 -

    It has a lot of functions.

    第四個錯誤 :

    As to me, it can make my pressure disappear by listen to the music.

    應該是 -

    As to me, it can make my pressure disappear by listening to the music.

    第五個錯誤 :

    So, whenever I am angry, I will turn the music loudly.

    應該是 -

    So, whenever I am angry, I will turn the music up loudly.

    第六個錯誤 :

    This is because I can give vent to unhappy feeling in this way.

    應該是 -

    This is because I can vent my unhappy feelings in this way.

    第七個錯誤 :

    While seeing the films, feelings will be influenced by music and followed to rise and fall.

    應該是 -

    While seeing the films, your feelings will be influenced by the music and follow to the rise and fall.

    第八個錯誤 :

    For example, when we are studying English, we can study English by singing the English song.

    應該是 -

    For example, when we are studying English, we can study English by singing English songs.

    第九個錯誤 :

    Now, let's wave with the music!

    應該是 -

    Now, let's move with the music!

    Source(s): 我自己
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