Oddest things you've said to your toddler?

I just wanted to lighten the mood and ask what are some of the strangest things you've had to say to your toddler? Some of mine are: "Get your finger out of your brother's nose" "Don't dip your cookie in the potty" "Don't eat the puppy food" That was just this... show more I just wanted to lighten the mood and ask what are some of the strangest things you've had to say to your toddler?
Some of mine are:
"Get your finger out of your brother's nose"
"Don't dip your cookie in the potty"
"Don't eat the puppy food"

That was just this week, lol.
Update: I love all of your answers so far. I can't stop laughing!
Update 2: I can't believe all of these funny answers. It is moments like all of these that make all the sleepless nights worth it! I just thought of one more I said last night:
"No, no honey don't poop on the sidewalk"

Thanks for all of the laughs!
55 answers 55