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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

求文法達人幫助-修改文法

這是我寫的文章,可是文法應該有錯很多,但是我不敢問老師,所以希望達人能幫忙,謝謝。

The people transmit information the way has already more and more easy. I just turn on the computer and using instant messengers to able to talking my friends in online. These instant messengers have brought convenience and also saved money for the telephone bill to us.

Use it to have a lot of advantages. First, I can know all friend’s instant message. Second, I have it when I discuss sometime with the friends, I don’t need go out. Next, the instant messengers can let me keeping the friendship with the friends. Finally, I will not need to spend the expensive telephone bill.

Although the instant messengers has a lot of advantages, but it has some disadvantages. My experience is uses it I will spend many time to chatting with my friends. Because once I have chatted with my friend for 4, 5 hours, therefore I think that I shouldn’t waste the time. Then, when I want to do something, I use it certainly to disturb for the friends in online. For two reasons, I have already seldom used instant messengers now.

3 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    您好, 如果您的文章是屬於正式的作文, 最好不要用第一人稱喔, (Ex, I, My等),所以下面改的句子,盡量用第三人稱!

    通常文章要有起承轉合,就像中文文章一樣, 第一段要寫明題目要講什麼, 第二段寫內容, 第三段可以再加以support 第二段,或是提出反論, 最後一段要提出結論.

    我不是很確定你想表明的主旨是什麼, 就大概依據你寫的猜你想要的意思跟加以改文法:

    第一段

    The ways people transmit information has already been easier than before. (不能用 more and more easy,因為easy的變化形是用easier. 此句可以用現在簡單式:The way people transmit information is getting easier than before.)

    One of the ways is using instant messengers to chat with friends on-line. (應該不需要強調turn on the computer 這件事)

    This essay state the advantages and disadvantages on using instant messengers. (這句話是用來說明你下面即將要講的文章內容, 您寫的最後一句我放在結尾)

    第二段

    There are lots of advantages to use instant messenger. (不能說it have or has, 要用there are)

    Firstly, it shows all friend’s detail of e-mail address.(這句我不曉得你想說什麼, 是要說你知道所有朋友的帳號嗎?)

    Secondly, everyone not only can discuss with each other by chatting on-line without going out, but also can save the money of phone bill. (不出門上網講話省電話費,可合併成一句)

    Thirdly, using instant messengers can also maintain the friendship with friends.

    (其實每句後面都可以多加解釋支持你的論點,使文章更充實)

    第三段

    However, using instant messengers could also bring some disadvantages in our lives.

    Take me for an example, it wastes a lot of time to chat with friends.

    (要寫自己的經驗,應該特別標明)

    Especially, when concentrating on doing job, friends on-line might disturb it.

    這篇文章的主旨是要表明你現在用不用即時通嗎? 如果不是,就可以不用寫,只需要寫出他的缺點.

    如果重點是你用不用即時通. 那就可以寫上去

    第四段

    第四段應該要寫結論, 前面你已經寫了用即時通的優缺點了,所以應該下一個結論,並把你所講的再統整理成一兩句話.

    可以把你第一段寫的拿來用:

    To sum up, it is not only very convenient to use instant messengers in our lives, but also save the money for phone bill. However, people should not addict (沉迷)on using it and waste too much time.

    p.s 這篇文章應該要有個題目吧, 如果有題目,比較讓人知道你主要是要說什麼

    文章參考,有些可能不是您要表達的本意, 祝你寫文順利!!

    Source(s): 自己
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  • 1 decade ago

    The people transmit information the way has already more and more easy. I just turn on the computer and using instant messengers to able to talking my friends in online. These instant messengers have brought convenience and also saved money for the telephone bill to us.

    Nowadays people use to the way to exchange information more and more easy. I just need to turn on the computer and use to instant messengers to talk with my friends on line. It is convenient also do not have to pay for telephone bill.

    Use it to have a lot of advantages. First, I can know all friend’s instant message. Second, I have it when I discuss sometime with the friends, I don’t need go out. Next, the instant messengers can let me keeping the friendship with the friends. Finally, I do not need to spend the expensive telephone bill.

    There are a lots of advantages to use to instant message. First, I can see all of my friends on line or not. Second, I can talk with my frinds without go out. Then it can help me to keep a friendship as well. Finally, I will not need to pay for a expensive telphone bill.

    Although the instant messengers has a lot of advantages, but it has some disadvantages. My experience is uses it I will spend many time to chatting with my friends. Because once I have chatted with my friend for 4, 5 hours, therefore I think that I shouldn’t waste the time. Then, when I want to do something, I use it certainly to disturb for the friends in online. For two reasons, I have already seldom used instant messengers now.

    Although the instant messengers have a lots of adventages also have some disaventage. I have an experience to use to it who spent 4-5 hours to talk with my friends on line. I think it was a little bit waste time for me If I talk too long at once. Otherwise I am not sure some of my friend on line for free or not so I sent a messege at wrong time. It was making me feel sorry to disturb them. For two reasons I seldom to use to instant messenges, now.

    2008-06-17 10:03:29 補充:

    問老師是最好的, 我改的也不是很好, 我也需要再去問老師的.

    請不要害怕去問老師, 因為我们都是從錯誤中學習來的, 加油喔!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    The ways to commuicate with others have already been much more easier. I just turn on the computer and using messenger to talk with my friends online. These instant messengers have brought convenience and also saved our money .

    Using it has a lot of advantages. First, I can know all friend’s instant message. Second, whenever I want to chat with my friends, I don’t have to go out. Next, the instant messengers can make me keep touch with the friends. Last but not least, I do not have to spend expensive telephone bill.

    Although the instant messengers has a lot of advantages, it also has some disadvantages. I used to spend much time to chat with my friends. Once I chatted with my friend for 4, 5 hours, therefore I think that I shouldn’t waste the timeThen, when I want to do something, I use it certainly to disturb for the friends in online.(I don't know what your main idea is!) . Because of the two reasons, I seldom use instant messengers now.

    2008-06-17 09:23:58 補充:

    I just turn on the computer and use messenger to talk with my friends online.

    2008-06-17 09:24:33 補充:

    These instant messengers brought convenience and also saved our money .

    Source(s): ME中高級通過, ME, ME
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