Lv 6
Sarah asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdoption · 1 decade ago

If you were adopted would you want to know your birth mother?

I have not been adopted but there are 4 cases in my family of adoption. My grandmother had 3 children before she married my grandfather, we know of 2 of them but one we don't. The other situation is my aunt (the daughter of my grandmother) adopted a child out when she was 16 or so because at that time it was I guess morally wrong for her to keep her daughter. I don't have any say in this but I've always wondered what these people are like. I've always wondered what my aunt looks like (the children my grandmother gave up were all girls) I've wondered if I've ever crossed her on the street, if I actually even know her children. Then theres the case of my cousin from my aunt. All we know is that she's happy at this time, which I think is great but I know it breaks my aunts heart that she doesnt know who she is, it makes me wonder again if I even know her because when you think about it I could. Ifyou were adopted would you want to eventually meet your birth mother? & see yourother family?

19 Answers

  • Matt
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    I would definitely like to meet them. Afterall, they are part of who you are.

    Growing up, I rarely saw my grandparents. They lived thousands of miles away, and my parents didn't really get along with them. As an adult, I got to know them very well. It was amazing spending time with them... it was like I knew them, even though I really hadn't even met them. We did so many things the same way. Little stuff that seems trivial... but is unique.

    One example: I am cheap when I go to a restaurant. If they have a condiment bar, I will take a bunch of lemon slices and make lemonade (rather than purchase lemonade). I don't like sweet and low, and don't want all the calories from sugar. So I mix in equal. Nobody ever taught me to do this, I just started doing it on my own. When we sat down at the table, my grandpa did EXACTLY the same thing. It was kinda spooky.

    Another example: Growing up, I always wanted an MG (small English convertible car). I was always searching the classified ads for one when I was in Jr. High and high school. Guess what I discovered sitting in my grandpa's garage? An MG.

    It's neat to discover weird little similarities like that. It's also fun to be sitting in the living room, and realize that you have the same hands, or toes, or eyes as the other person. I also learned where I inherited my potty mouth from. My grandma!

    I think it's good to know where you came from. Genetics means a lot. I'm glad I got to know my grandparents. They're dead now, and had I never met them, I never would have known where so many of my traits came from.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am adopted and have always wanted to know my Mom.

    Thanks to sealed records though it's taken me 20 years to find her and we couldn't be happier.

    We should never have been separated and are busy filling each other in on the lost years.

    Searching had nothing to do with dissatisfaction with my adoptive family, whom I adore and who support me wholeheartedly.

    When people say they were given up for 'a reason' - you will never know that until you find out the truth. The reason I was not with my Mom was 'cos they told her I was dead. Surprise! I'm not.

    Source(s): American Adoptee in the UK
  • I was adopted when I was about 6 years little sis (who was also adopted) hired a PI and he found our birth mom about two years ago (I was 28). I talk to her about once a week and we get along great. We had another sister whom my adoptive parents refused to adopt, (they are bigots and she is bi-racial) and I talk to her almost every day! I am very glad for them now because my adoptive parents and I do not speak any more. ( I do not live my life the say they want me too and so they treat me like crap). I am also glad I found her because I had a hard time with who I was (my adoptive mom is a very "girly" girl and I am NOT!) My mom works in construction and that SO explains why I am the way I am!

  • C Wood
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I'd like to find my siblings.

    The reason I would not search for my birth mother is because I feel she was traumatized enough when she had to give us to Children's aid Society because she couldn't earn enough to keep and raise us. Then, when she met a new husband, he refused to marry her unless she gave up her children.

    I don't hold it against her, and I think it would pain her too much if I looked her up.


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  • 1 decade ago

    Yes I would, and yes I do.

    Not because my adoptive family did anything wrong. Finding and meeting my first mom has nothing to do with how my adoptive family treated me. They are good people whom I love very much. Finding her was about me, not them.

    Source(s): Living life as a reunited adoptee one day at a time
  • .
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Yes, I would....and I do know her now. Your story is a very good example of how adoption affects the WHOLE family, not just the first mother and the adoptee.

    Source(s): I'm an adult adoptee.
  • 1 decade ago

    I was, and no, I don't really care to. Nothing against her, I'm sure she is a lovely woman. But, maybe because my family has never made me feel like an outsider, I've never felt the urge to find another family to belong to. I get the feeling that this is rare, though, and that most other adoptees feel differently.

    For what it's worth, though, my biological brother contacted me awhile back, and I was willing to talk to him. Although, I disagree with the poster above who said that genetics are important and part of who you are. Blood isn't anything compared to actual love. I didn't mind being contacted by my brother, but I don't consider him family, and we are nothing alike. I am much more proud of my real family, ie, the one that raised me. Anyway, if you did contact her... it might be weird for her, but I don't think she'd resent it.

  • Cam
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    I'm not adopted but yes, I would want to know everything about where I came from.

  • 1 decade ago

    im an adoptee.

    & i cant wait to meet by birth mom and the rest of her family.

    i count down the days until i turn 18 & can legally search for her. i just want to know the woman who gave birth to me, who carried me for 9 months. i want to know if i look like her, act like her. or if i look like my other siblings. there's soo many reasons adoptees want to meet their parents. but the main one is to see a blood relative and know who your birth mother truly is.

  • 1 decade ago

    I did want to know my bio mom and I'm now in contact with her and her family. Same with my bio dad and his family. Its always been important to me to have them in my life and it hurts like hell that they haven't always been there. It hurts that people who never should have left my life are now strangers to me.

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