采采 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

可以幫我檢查哪裡有錯誤然後訂正!!!!贈送20點嘍!很急

  I, Chen Cai-fong, was born in Taichung city of Taiwan which is full of friendliness and enthusiasm. My grandmother is old but she likes to go traveling. My parents are engaged in metal processing industry. My elder sister is a collegian and my two younger sisters separately study in the high school and the elementary school. Since I was very young, my parents instill the importance of honest and the sense of responsibility into me, their way of getting along with people is also my best learning example. Besides, they take the way that is democratic and encouraging to educate me, so however difficult the problem is, I will be able to face up to it.

●Hobbies

  I am fond of watching movies and listening to music at my leisure. They both can relax me after class. I especially like to watch comedies, because I can laugh heartily and it makes me forget something bad. As for music, I enjoy listening to music because it can relax my mind so that I can gain more energy to deal with busy schoolwork.

●School Life

  I’m majoring in Applied Foreign Languages Department in Taichung Home Economics and Commercial High School. Despite of core curriculum, I have many specialized English course, such as reading, writing and speaking. I also read English magazines as well as listen to English CD that helps me promote my skills of Linguistic.

  In addition, I also studied the commercial courses. Take accounting for example, I realize that how to keep account, enter an item in an account book, calculate and prepare budget. Furthermore, school arranges practical trainings of cooperative store for students. Because of that, I was familiar with how to manage cash flow rate and learned how to service customers.

Update:

  I always study hard because I know I have to pursue advanced study. I used to know little about the professional subject before I entered the school. However, the more I contact, the more infatuating and attractive I find in studying here.

Update 2:

Under the teacher’s outstanding instruction, I laid a good foundation, and at this time, I passed the 證照(我可以自己翻譯).

Update 3:

 In senior high school, I was elected as a section chief who manages the class’ neat and tidy. According to these experiences, I’ve realized the importance of communicate when coped with some problems about interpersonal relationship and learned how to get along with classmates.

Update 4:

As for extra-curricular activity, I joined volleyball club and learned lots of skills in playing it.

Update 5:

●Statement of Purpose

  The main reason for choosing to major in the Department of and information at your school is that I hope I can gain my professional knowledge when I am in the university.

Update 6:

As far as I know, the school lays great emphasize on combining the skills of accounting, information, and financial affairs,

Update 7:

as well as cultivating advanced business personnel with both accounting knowledge and information technology, which is indispensable for standing out in the competitive market.

Update 8:

If I have the privilege to enter the school, I will concentrate my attention on major subjects; moreover, I want to focus on other commercial subjects to diversify my capability.

Update 9:

The Departments of Business Administration in National Taiwan University of Science and Technology are professional and excellent professors and faculty. So, I sincerely hope that I can be one of the students in your school. At last, thank you for your consideration and time.

1 Answer

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    想說一下:

    我想你這篇文章是入學用的吧, 所以只要集中在你自己的事情就好了, 你家人(除了你爸媽),其他人就不用在文章裡面提. 還有一些, 我也幫你刪掉, 請看一下吧:

    I, Chen Cai-Fong, was born in Taichung City, a place filled with friendliness and enthusiasm. When I was young, my parents always emphasized on the importance of being honest and taking up responsibilities and I deeply believe that these are the two things that made my parents live happily. In addition, they always encourage me to learn from different experiences aside from academic study, and I treat them not just as my parents, but also as my learning models because they always give me ideas and freedom to think and live my life.

    2008-06-18 12:33:03 補充:

    (其實可以把Hobby刪掉, 因為對你入學沒有很大幫助)

      I like to watch comedies and listen to music during free time because they both help me to relax after a long day of study.

    2008-06-18 12:33:17 補充:

    Comedies are my favorite because I can laugh away all my bad moods. I enjoy listening to (某一種的音樂? Classical, jazz, pop??) music because it helps to refresh my mind and gives me energy to continue to work my stressful schoolwork.

    2008-06-18 12:33:33 補充:

    School Life

      My major is Applied Foreign Languages and I am currently studying in Taichung Home Economics and Commercial High School. Aside from my core curriculum, I have also taken some English courses in reading, writing, and speaking.

    2008-06-18 12:33:43 補充:

    When I finished studying my coursework, I would read English magazines and listen to CDs in English because they help me to improve my English skill.

    2008-06-18 12:34:07 補充:

      In addition to languages, I am also studying some business courses. For example, accounting (還有其他商科嗎??Finance, management, business law….). By learning these courses, I am able to learn something new aside from languages and I believe they would be very helpful in the future.

    2008-06-18 12:34:14 補充:

    Furthermore, I also assisted in arranging practical trainings for students in the cooperative store (不懂cooperative store 是什麼意思.). As a result, I am familiar in handling cash and some practical skills in customer services.

    2008-06-18 12:34:34 補充:

    I always tried my best and studied hard in my high school because I know I want to pursue higher education. I used to be ignorant about the subjects that I was going to learn in school.

    2008-06-18 12:34:35 補充:

    I always tried my best and studied hard in my high school because I know I want to pursue higher education. I used to be ignorant about the subjects that I was going to learn in school.

    2008-06-18 12:34:57 補充:

    But since I get to know the subjects better, I am more interested in learning them and apply them in my future career.

    In my high school, I was elected as a section chief who was responsible for class’s tidiness (還有其他的職位嗎? 這個不夠powerful).

    2008-06-18 12:35:06 補充:

    Because of this position, I realized the importance of communication among classmates and that gave me an experience in learning better interpersonal skills. As for extra-curricular activities, I was active in the volleyball club and I enjoyed playing it with my team mates.

    2008-06-18 12:35:13 補充:

    Statement of Purpose

      The reason for choosing to major in (這個學系是Department of Information 嗎? 說不通, 還是 Business Information Study, or Business Administration?) is that I want to extend my knowledge beyond what I have already learned in high school.

    2008-06-18 12:35:23 補充:

    Since, your school highly emphasizes on the combination of accounting knowledge, information technology skills, and interpersonal relationships, I would like the opportunity to extend my knowledge and my capabilities in the financial world through attending your school.

    2008-06-18 12:35:32 補充:

    Please contact me at_____ regarding any further questions and thank you for your time and consideration.

    希望你成功入學!!有問題可以再po上來!

    Source(s): me..., me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me
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